Do you ever open up to your women? Can you tell her about your secrets without turning her off?

2019-02-16T00:02:20+00:00

On the first few dates, probably not a good idea to mention anything, but if you’re married - hell yes, practice radical honesty. You’ll either grow closer or discover she’s not right for you.

BishopDayGame · 2019-02-16T01:01:12+00:00

Check out Mark Manson’s book “Models”

In it he talks about vulnerability. He says you know you’re invulnerable when you can openly talk about flaws and embarrassing situations.

For instance a lot of PUA’s openly admit they are dating coaches to their lovers and that they once themselves had problems dating women.

Per Aspera Ad Astra

Bobandjim12602 · 2019-02-16T00:17:41+00:00

Depends on the scenario

A hookup? Hell no.
A girlfriend? Nah, probably not.
A serious girlfriend? A little.
Wife of 0-5 years? About average.
Lifetime partner? Absolutely.

greenlittleman · 2019-02-16T02:36:22+00:00

Take everyone's advice (including mine) here with a grain of salt. Some are just DTF, you seem to want more.

The fact you changed from a broken person to pretty well-off during your adolescence/adulthood shows how strong you are compared to those with "inborn gifts". Because you know what it takes to change. You have great appreciation of your skillset/personality now, because you worked hard to get it, it wasn't just given to you. That "painful learning", it was necessary. Wear those past struggles like a badge, dude.

It takes strength to admit you're weak.

Open up because you really want to. Don't seek validation from her. Validate yourself first. Self-love. Don't worry if it "makes you look weak" or if she'll manipulate you. Set firm boundaries in case she ever wishes to manipulate you for opening up. If she continually disrespects those boundaries, dump her. Don't be scared to leave or be left alone. Find an emotionally intelligent woman.

Of course, be aware of the proper context when opening up. There's a time and place for everything.

Best wishes.

elgodo7 · 2019-02-15T23:59:08+00:00

Nah man never tell girl stuff she can use against you. Also never dump your emotions on a girl she is not a therapist and will probably think your weak.

Girls say they want a emotional man but they chat shit. A lot of guys that inexperienced have this fantasy of just opening up to a girl and telling them everything but it's the biggest mistake you can make.

Find good friends who are your brothers they will help you through your emotions not women.

Sblenter · 2019-02-16T00:50:01+00:00

I cant believe the garbage I'm reading here dude. Honesty and communication are what makes love and sex the best it can be. Forget about game and that shit, if you feel like talking to her about your past do it, and if she thinks you re weak because of it, fuck her, find a more emotionally mature and accepting person.

This doesn't mean dumping all of the responsibility of your happiness on her (which is a turn off), but you can definitely say what you ve been through, and link that story to how you changed and how YOU took responsibility to make changes.

That is manly. Not that you didn't have a shit past, but that you took it in your hands to make your life better. If that doesn't make your woman wet and appreciative, screw her and everyone who says to not be vulnerable.

Great love lies in vulnerability.

2019-02-16T03:21:53+00:00

It depends on the situation and person but if you both end up doing this and show real vulnerability with each other it causes bonding. It doesn't have a 100% chance and they have to be into you for more than a one night stand.

there should be heaps of stuff on google

Dangerfox_1 · 2019-02-16T00:47:17+00:00

There is power there in being vulnerable and being honest. When you live a life where you are being untruthful it fragments you and you have an uneasiness and must always watch what you say for fear of being found out. I say wouldn't it be less of a burden to be open with others.

There is also the right moment to do it, it has to be when you are in deep conversation and are opening up about things that you hold dear. It's give and take, so when she opens up to you with something that she's holding onto that's when you reciprocate and should allow yourself to become vulnerable and share yourself. Be honest and say how much of a positive impact she has had on you, let her know things where shit before, but she makes you want to be the best that you can be because she deserves your best.

idontdrinksoda42 · 2019-02-16T03:52:09+00:00

I think theres a confidence necessary sometimes in being vulnerable. Its true, girls might lose attraction when you open up. It depends on what you want. If you wanna fuck keep it to yourself. If you really care about someone and want to further your relationship with them then go for it knowing they might get turned off. But thats on them not you.

dan2737 · 2019-02-16T08:31:30+00:00

Tell her. I told the girl that took mine and she didn't judge me for it. She was so sweet and good about everything that I realized I was going through some kind of unjustified imooster syndrome. You are who you are, own it and don't hide shit.

9Jeremy8 · 2019-02-16T06:05:06+00:00

It should definitely be a slow and steady thing. Wait till you guys are serious and slowly start to open up. Don't do it all at once and don't make it everything you talk about. But definitely open up to her or else you guys will never connect. If she loves you, it will work out. Never share it with a one night stand though.

d-gut · 2019-02-16T07:08:28+00:00

Dude one and done doesn’t apply to relationships..the mindset you come from is apparent and that of famine mindset. Your specific distribution of things in ur case personal feelings is very dear to you and subconsciously believe that the distribution, the relocation,giving whatever you want to call it is not really what you want but what you have..your accomplishments up to this point is remarkable, give yourself credit for that. My opinion is you try and find a reason to share one of those thoughts in your head to make space for happy thoughts now. If you can’t do that or consider it in the near future.. there probably is another girl better suited for you..your journey of sexual adventures has just begun..think about it & best of luck.

2019-02-19T09:30:49+00:00

NEVER

2019-02-16T19:10:00+00:00

Not really. From my experience, when you show weakness, it’s a turn off for them, regardless of the context, length of the relationship, etc.

Yes, it sucks. That’s hypergamy, though. Women are solipsistic by nature and can’t really, truly empathize with men.

Think about it like this: What’s the upside to showing weakness with women? If you need a shoulder to cry on, get a therapist. Your girlfriend won’t (actually) give a shit, and it’ll degrade your frame in her mind. The list of risks dramatically exceeds the benefits.

I’ve found other men to be much more sympathetic and understanding about stuff like this, actually. Get some good, genuine male friends. Bros you trust. They’ll understand where you’re coming from infinitely better than a woman ever could.

elgodo7 · 2019-02-16T00:00:32+00:00

What do you gain from telling her you was a sad guy and a virgin before her? Just makes it seem like she is your soruce of happiness which is weak. Girls are ruthless they don't care about your emotions.

2019-02-16T19:09:58+00:00

NO! You’re a man act like one. Quickest way to lose a woman is to act like one.

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