How long did it take for you to have success?

rich_god · 2019-11-08T10:03:52+00:00

It took me a few months after I read The Game to get a girlfriend (I was 18). But I only started being good with a lot of sollicitation from girls about 7 years later. It’s all about your inner self and learning how to love yourself for everything you are. Abundance in relationships, work, money, friends, family, health and spirituality is a consequence of that. If you do things you love, focus on yourself, challenge yourself to face your fears and take every opportunity as a learning experience, the results will be amazing.

You’re perfect wherever you are, you just have to take a step.

RichSoulBlessed · 2019-11-08T09:37:20+00:00

I started day gaming in Nov 2012, and had sex with my first girl thru day game in February 2017.

Some people have it harder

It’s hard to know what exactly you need Meet some guy friends who know about game or social skills and tell them to be honest with you on how you can improve.

In retrospect, I barely had any fundamental social skills/social intelligence and that’s a foundation for knowing how to talk and flirt with girls.

If you want to fix this problem fast, hire a coach to help you. Whether it’s Skype sessions or a live infield program. Or hire me for Skype coaching. There are blind spots you have that need to be addressed.

bleezses-is-dead · 2019-11-08T12:09:44+00:00

all i can say is i dont think u should get a hobby all for the women, do it cuz you genuinely have a passion for it. if u have the passion for the drama society then fuck yea go all out brother

Gandalf__White · 2019-11-08T12:55:23+00:00

I was 17 she was...15. Took a bus to her after 6 months of knowing each other. Distance 200km+. What I have found until now is: (interest+big risk+action = big attraction) Turns out this works for many things in life dunno why but yeah. I dare you to try this formula!

Gandalf__White · 2019-11-08T13:42:04+00:00

Understand that you can die at any moment that’s just a fact(focus on what you really value in life)
Know that some people just don’t like you.
There is a fine line between sexual harassment and being boring( both with words and being physical)
Go get a hobby, be social.
Girls love presents, no one wants to get a boring present right? There are other things but that’s the dark stuff

babban_rao · 2019-11-08T15:46:07+00:00

I read "the game" at 16. 10 years down the line with 0 success. I still haven't given up though.

itzReborn · 2019-11-08T18:17:48+00:00

Me and you are in the same boat, hope it works out for both of us. All I can say is keep trying I guess(something I’m not even doing yet, still have a lot of anxiety)

scarrax · 2019-11-08T22:15:29+00:00

Got dates, been kissed and all that as a teenager but didn't actually have sex till my 23rd birthday. Even getting laid didn't change anything overnight, for the most part it was me getting lucky and being in the right place at the right time. It took around a couple years before I was able to actually go out of my way to pursue romantic/sexual relationships with women and actually get results, but for a large chunk of that time I was battling depression and being miserable all the time severely hindered my progress.

During that 2 year period a lot of shitty things happened to me. I had one girl who toyed with me and strung me along for months while gaslighting me and making me feel like a total piece of shit. After that I had one girl who passed me up for another guy, which actually fucked with me so bad I stopped dating entirely for months. I'd been ghosted by several girls, wasted time with girls who I was definitely friendzoned with, etc. Beneath all that I had several other problems in life unrelated to women, but at the time I was so miserable I was hoping that having a girl in my life would at least make me feel better.

Looking back, I would not have wanted to date me at that point in my life. I was obviously needy and desperate, I was miserable 70% of the time, and I personally wouldn't want that energy in my life ever again. I knew it at the time but I just didn't want to admit it to myself. It was much easier to blame circumstances beyond my control and blame my sexual frustration for making things worse.

The turning point came when I stopped letting external factors affect me so much and started learning to live life on my terms. I looked to control what I did have control over, I stopped placing so much emphasis on my happiness depending on my success with girls, and eventually I got to a point where I knew how to get what I wanted. I still went through rejection regularly, but by that point I felt like I had gone through so much shit that most things I'd encounter in the dating world wouldn't faze me.

Learning is a lifelong process, I definitely know more than I did a couple years ago, and I'll be even wiser in a couple years time.

Looksmax123 · 2019-11-10T03:05:23+00:00

Just wanted to say same here bro. Best of luck to you man. I have depressiv episodes about this, because I'm a senior in college and this is supposed to be the easiest time of my life.

LongHairedKraut · 2019-11-12T18:50:57+00:00

23m here, about to graduate from college. I used to be in the same sort of situation as yourself. When I was in high school I got nowhere with girls, I was insecure and socially awkward. It also didn’t help that I went to a very small school; since there were only 50 people in my graduating class I didn’t have many options anyway. As a result, by the time I got to college I was already a couple years behind the curve.

I didn’t get my first kiss until 19, and didn’t actually sleep with a woman until 21. The road to that point was difficult. Girls would initially be interested in me, then lose interest when they realized how introverted or inexperienced I was. I’ve had my share of bad rejections, dates that went nowhere, women I only went out with once etc. With every failure I tried as much as possible to analyze what I did wrong so that I could learn from my mistakes. I kept at it and eventually I lost my virginity at 21, and last year when I was 22 I met my first girlfriend. Keep in mind however, that all the women I’ve slept with I’ve met online. That’s just what works for me, I know you’ve said that the online front doesn’t give you much luck. You’ve just got to find out what approach works for you, whether it be online or in real life.

The advice that I can give you is as follows. Firstly, read the Book of Pook if you haven’t already. The knowledge and principles contained therein are much more powerful and wholesome advice than any PUA “manual” out there. If you’ve already read models as your post history says then Pook is the logical next step. Second, keep working out. If you train on machines exclusively, start training with barbells instead. Read the book the Strongest Shall Survive by Bill Starr, it should provide you with superior training knowledge. No more bro-splits for you if you’re one of those guys who still do them in 2019. Third, keep at your hobbies and interests, and make sure that you have your life together. If college is nearly over for you, what are your plans moving forward?

As much as it sounds like platitudes, keep working on yourself. Sun Tsu said that the path to victory lies in making one’s position unassailable. Thus, the more you improve yourself, the lower the chance of failure. Whatever you desire in a relationship, the same standards you apply to a prospective partner must also apply to you. I know what you are going through, countless times have I myself been on the brink of giving up. Never give up, never lose hope.

Ploikblah · 2019-11-08T09:59:26+00:00

Seduction is difficult if you think it is. Don't allow your bias to limit yourself. I bet you are a dude that actually has success in some other things in life (college, art, sport, family relationships, good friends ?) , and you've to realize that this happened because you've done the work.

Not only great work, but also smart work.

Sed is the same. Challenge your mindset. I would suggest to subscribe to ToddV "WinnerGame" free program , that's built for those things (and also contains challenges and call to action).

Personally, for me daygame required 6-7 months before the first lay, and something that is like 200 approaches. It's not too much, but it's of course nothing easy to do (at all).

At the end the main questions are 2 : first , what do you define as success (loosing verginity, and what if it happens in not the best way ?), and , second, can you control your outcome ?.

So I would focus on learning instead of on "getting laid", it's better for you, it's better for your mindset and it is the best way to ensure yourself you will be the man you want to be, not now, not tomorrow, not in a thousand lazy years, but in 1 year ,ONLY IF... You do the work

Ploikblah · 2019-11-08T16:16:03+00:00

Not a joke, so hear me out. Are you perhaps gay?
If men were more responsive and women ignored you (and you did join the drama society) then it's possible that even if you're not gay, you're being perceived as gay.

If you're for sure straight, like there's no confusion, then the thing to do is practice, practice, practice. To do so you might need a female "friend-zone" friend to help. Socially popular and confident women can do wonders helping you, IF you're willing to listen and not get discouraged from the practice it's going to take.

how long should I expect before I can go on my first date?

You could be dating tomorrow....depends on how much work you're willing to do and how much rejection you can handle getting to yes.

I highly recommend that you start asking the shy and maybe chubby or even fat girls who are also socially awkward and are often happy to get any attention at all. Don't be chasing 7s and 8s when you're not skilled and have no experience, chase chicks who will help you learn (because they'll say yes and you'd get to practice working out the kinks in your game).

Seduction is extremely difficult so I'm curious how long it took for folks here.

Everyone is different, so it's hard to compare.

Seduction isn't "extremely" difficult to some people, to some people it comes naturally and easy.

But that's not fair to compare yourself to, it's like saying, "how long did it take you to be able to slam dunk a basketball?"

Spud Webb has a different answer than LeBron.

Title	How long did it take for you to have success?
Author	Ploikblah
Upvotes	10
Comments	37
Date	November 8, 2019 9:18 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dtcxya/how_long_did_it_take_for_you_to_have_success/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-long-did-it-take-for-you-to-have-success.1483273 https://theredarchive.com/post/1483273

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