How can a 21 year old virgin increase his chances of getting laid?

SithisDreadLord420 · 2019-06-12T12:36:03+00:00

Talk to people, try and invite people to hangout with your friends. That girl may not end up as your gf but having girls in your group will attract more girls

2019-06-12T11:38:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ImChrisBrown · 2019-06-12T14:45:08+00:00

Since you're a law student hopefully you don't mind picking up another book. Models by mark Manson is a great starting point

CookieAdmiral · 2019-06-12T15:57:39+00:00

I'm really surprised to hear you are a virgin after describing yourself like that. Most people your age (including myself) don't have half as many hobbies. You seem like a social person and since you are fit and have good hygiene, you are ready in the looks department (as much you can affect it at least). The only thing left is to actually put yourself out to WOMEN THAT INTEREST YOU. Approach, throw some banter and see her reaction. Then, act accordingly (ask for a number, makeout with her if its a club /event). Escalate cause she will not.

Make mistakes. That's right, make them cause they are the best teacher. More mistakes = more experience = more self reflection = more success with girls. Don't overthink about approaching, just do it.

Good luck to you.

jeffiethompson · 2019-06-12T15:55:04+00:00

Give less fucks. Lift more weights.

Dallas_Stars_Fan · 2019-06-12T16:02:32+00:00

Read models by Mark Manson but just as important remember how many other guys are in your same situation. Go to top all time posts in this subreddit for a gold mine of tips. Alpha M on YouTube is pretty good too (his early stuff)

AntisocialAddie · 2019-06-12T13:06:21+00:00

If online dating didn’t work out for you could there be a reason? It could be possible that you didn’t ‘advertise’ yourself enough on there. If you don’t wanna give that another go my next advice would just to join social clubs and other activities where you might meet people. Best of luck :)

NilacTheGrim · 2019-06-12T16:52:54+00:00

drama club

You probably have an edge if that's one of your hobbies because you at least probably have some charisma, and some ability to empathize, as compared to perhaps the average 21 year old guy that just plays video games and hangs out with friends.

Use that to your advantage.

The key to getting laid is to try. Keep trying. Make that the goal. Really it's all about trying and not giving up. 50% of the population have the genital organs in line with what your preference is. Of that, a subset are probably attractive to you and.. of that, another subset will be attracted enough to YOU to sleep with you.

So it's about homing in on the proper subset, really. And you don't know who they are until you try. You have to just discover that subset and try try try. Make that the goal in a cool honest way not in a desperate way. It's a reasonable thing to want at your age -- so it's cool to go for it if that's what you want.

It's literally that simple. The first few failures are always the hardest but keep trying.

and who knows maybe you will succeed on try #2 :)

Piece of advice: stay away from women with boyfriends or women who have a "complicated" love life (eg, they are seeing like 3 guys at once and aren't sure who to pick or keep breaking up with their boyfriend every 2 days, etc). That's common with women in their early 20s. Lots of chaos. Try to weed those out and go for the more down-to-earth types this way you don't make yourself crazy.

PS: Stay the fuck away from online dating. It's a complete waste of time IMHO. Also club chicks tend to not be a good match for someone who just wants some good clean fun. Stay away from them too. Approach down to earth types in random places like the library or in your day-to-day. That's more likely to lead to a better experience.

JosiahSethWilliams · 2019-06-12T16:03:54+00:00

Read "She Comes First" and "Models". Talk to and have fun with girls. Make a conscious effort to look them in the eyes and introduce touch in conversations. Be flirtatious and sarcastic/joking. Make them laugh. Profit.

IDoesThis1 · 2019-06-12T14:51:17+00:00

Approach more and act like you have mad bitches

cbh28 · 2019-06-12T15:59:28+00:00

Talk to girls wherever you go, and don't think about your virginity. Think positive, and think of the conversation with the girl. If you guys click, get her number, ask her on a date. Go with 0 expectations. More often than not, you're gonna fail, so going with no expectations will avoid you getting bummed out when things go wrong.

x_UGK_x · 2019-06-12T16:32:01+00:00

This is a thinking and hands on process and You will need a pad and pen to write your answers...

How have you decreased your chances of not getting laid? 1A. What have you done to decrease your chances of not getting laid? (There can and will be a number of things for the answer to both 1 and or 1A. WRITE THEM ALL DOWN!)
What have you not done to increase your ability to get laid? (The answers from question number 1 will help you answer this question.)
What has stopped you from increasing you ability to get laid? (The answers from question number 2 will help you answer this question.)
What stops you from getting laid? (The answers from question 3 will help you answer this question.)
What do you need to do in order to increase your ability and chances of getting laid. (The answers from question 4 will help you answer this question.)

Once you answer number 5 you essentially have the answer to your own question... Every one is different and no one person can give you the "right" answer but yourself. So hope this helps.

JimLight · 2019-06-12T16:09:38+00:00

Stop caring about getting laid and just enjoy the moment.

youngbull- · 2019-06-12T14:40:13+00:00

Go check Todd v dating on YouTube

DizzyxSin · 2019-06-12T17:38:13+00:00

Once I got a girlfriend when I was broke, unemployed, extremely anxious and at the worst shape of my life. I just literally called her for a date, got declined and then called her again a week later. Turns out you can't compensate TALKING TO GIRLS by having hobbies, having a career, having a good body. If you don't ask out a girl, you don't get a girl.

warsponge · 2019-06-12T17:18:59+00:00

Hello my friend, I used to be pretty useless at talking to girls but I've spend the last few years learning about psychology online, charisma, and how to better yourself. I'm currently traveling the world and I've hooked up with at least one girl in almost every place I've been. there are actually some really good channels on YouTube that can help you with this, a couple of my favourites are these two:

https://www.youtube.com/user/charismaoncommand

https://www.youtube.com/user/SchoolOfAttraction

Check those two channels out they're both very helpful

There's alot of content on there which you'll need to put into practice aswell, so don't watch it all at once watch it intermittently, try to put these things into practice, write some of the key points down in your phone so you remember them, that's what I do.

Obviously the other thing is with confidence, you've got to fake it till you make it, in situations you don't know what to do in, just think what would a confident person do, or think of a particularly confident role model of yours and ask yourself what would they do in this situation.

When I was younger people often used to say I was very shy and at first I didn't really give a shit but when I realised it was stopping me meeting girls and getting laid I started to care. I've really worked on it and now I actually get people that Ive never met before complimenting me alot on how confident and chatty I am, which is really nice.

Another great bit of advice is to try to spend more time around other confident people, people who challenge you socially, not in a threatening way but in a way where keeping up a conversation with them is a mental work out, for example if they're having a bit of banter and taking the piss out of you, you then have to somehow turn it around to take the piss out of them instead, that sort of thing helps you think more quickly and after a while when you start getting better at it you will start to be more confident and sure of yourself in your responses, which girls respond to very positively.

I've worked in the construction industry for the last 7 years so that environment has definitely been challenging but beneficial for me. (FYI I'm 25)

Hope this helps bud

Edit: btw I also used to absolutely hate tinder, but once you actually set up a good profile, and get some good chat it's actually fucking fantastic. The Schoolofattraction channel will really help you with that one, he has a course somewhere for setting up the perfect profile and honestly it made the world of difference to my matches.

Second edit: FYI I'm not some super ripped bodybuilder or a model, you don't need the best looks to be successful, I'm tall but also quite skinny (I much prefer the word slim) but in any situation with girls charisma and how you act socially absolutely outshines any muscles or money some dude next to you has, I can literally jump into a conversation between two people or a group of people where it's pretty clear that this very good looking guy is trying to chat up this girl and I'll just basically hijack the conversion and I'll be much more successful at chatting her up, and he'll be left there not really knowing how to contribute to the conversion any more wondering what the fuck happened. I know it's a bit of a dick move and I don't do it all the time but I'm trying to make a point that charisma, character, and chat are waaay more important to getting laid than styling your hair and picking up some weights.

darksidessj25 · 2019-06-12T23:44:39+00:00

http://nullxface.com/gi0/Revelation.pdf

This is where game originated from just take out the canned lines and you'll be fine. If a woman makes eye contact with you say Hi, I'm XXX. Women come on to you first most of the time. They will move closer to you and give you a second to say something. I had this done while I was at Starbucks the other day by a beautiful Hispanic chick. I talked to her and she was indeed interested. My logistics were bad that day due to work-related issues. They want sex just as bad as we do. Start studying IOIs (Indicators Of Interest) and learn how to act accordingly to them. Game is broken down into compliance testing. Everything you do she'll either comply or deny. If she denies you deny. You should also practice body language and take classes on how to convey yourself in an attractive way. Women are attracted to ALPHA males. You can convey yourself this way through the way you position yourself and how well you're able to hold eye contact. I kind of copy James Dean's body language. He got it right and his attitude toward things is spot on. Watch some of his movies and notice how he doesn't get but hurt or in his head about shit. Being in your head kills attraction and you'll end up losing the girl. Talk to every girl that sends you signals. Don't be picky. Look at them! Don't be a bitch and shy away.

Here's the basic cycle of an interaction Most of the common signals are done via eye contact. Hold eye contact roughly around 80% of the time. I do it tell she looks away, then I reengage it when she looks back.

Start here -> Vibe - > IOI (preening, eye contact etc.) - > Compliance Test (ex: asking her to do something, physicality) If she complied continue to build comfort and rapport. If she denied your compliance test jokingly play it off through a verbal or non-verbal disinterest. Talking to women takes practice.

moontripper1246 · 2019-06-12T16:29:58+00:00

Go to a festival

cenTT · 2019-06-12T17:04:47+00:00

Read the most upvoted posts in this sub and go out to approach women. That's it. There's tons and tons of content in here and on Youtube. There's no simple and short answer to your question. Do your homework.

yoshale · 2019-06-12T19:06:14+00:00

Fake confidence, that’s the best advice I’ve ever gotten. Also, to get laid by any girl these days and ESPECIALLY in college (I am also a college student) you have to play “games”. Learn to tease girls, push pull, and you’ll be on your way man. PM if you want some more advice

DoWhatYouCan100 · 2019-06-12T21:17:15+00:00

Read the book "Mate: Become the Man Women Want" and apply what you learn in there. It's a solid all-rounder for young guys who want to be more attractive and successful with women.

readonlyuser · 2019-06-12T22:27:08+00:00

You're in college. Go to college parties. Talk to girls there. You've got access to the Alaskan pipeline of pussy, being in college. Literally, they're all next door.

gemini88mill · 2019-06-12T22:27:27+00:00

Okay, I was in the same position when I found seddit. Here's is my personal advice.

I met my fiancee in a nightclub in Tokyo but I have pulled in other places.

Top place to pull: a bar, I'm not a very good dancer but I can make people laugh with witty sarcasm and whatnot. Usually I got to a bar that I have been to before, a nice relatively small bar with a good crowd and a lot of people that float through the bar. Where I used to live downtown had a bunch of little bars that you could bar hop. I would suggest a place like that. Get to know your bartender, he/she will let you know about danger areas if you have a good report.

How to pull at the bar above: youre at a bar you know people you've seen every nook in the place and you know anything there is to know about the place, it's your stomping ground. This gives you an advantage. You are more comfortable and therefore you are more relaxed about things. Also if things don't go your way you can then just hang out until the end of the night.

Sit at the bar and nurse a drink, say hi to the people that come and go that you know. Then someone comes in that you like. Once she is within "striking distance" spark up some kind of conversation. The that I had always played campy movies. Since I love campy movies I could bring up useful trivia about said movies. Let me Segway into an k close that I had:

This girl was waiting for a drink next to me and die hard was on. As she was watching it I just calmly talked about Hanz Gruber (Alan Rickman) and how he was the most bad ass villian. I would get mad if she made a reference to Harry Potter. Then I switched it up to die hard being the best Christmas movie. Then the conversation turned to what her interests were, who she was what she was about etc. After that I got her alone and that was that. Old movies are great because you can talk about a career path which is much more interesting then just the character in the movie which your potential woman might not be interested in.

Let's say your not at a bar but in the club, this is always hit or miss and it's more of a numbers game. I don't really like this because it doesn't allow for alot of errors, girls are much more on guard then they are at a bar. But if you must. Same rules apply. Aim for a luul in the action of the girls night and go for it. Going to the bar for drinks, she waiting on some friends, she's not having the fun she wants to have. Honestly at a club you could be honest about your intentions to a point. I would open with something like: "hey who are you?"

Just remember that if her friends come back then you have to incorporate all of them in your plan of attack. They will try to cock block you. Intentionally or not. If her friends come back then go for her friends. Even though that's not the target that your actually going for the one is going to feel left out that your not giving her all of the attention.

Sorry if that is a bit rambly but I'm on mobile and I'm trying to get all my thoughts down.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-06-13T03:43:25+00:00

1

I'd like to know any advice that can help me land at least a date.

What do you really want?

Something serious? Or something casual?

Either one is okay, but if you don't have a clear goal in mind, it will lead to misleading vibes getting sent out and you unintentionally wasting time with people who don't want the same thing you do.

2

I'm a law student, my hobbies include hanging out with friends, drama club, video games and movies. I'm relatively fit, but could do with some bulking up. I make sure my hygiene and hair are on point.

One question and several comments:

What do you do when you "hang out with friends?"
Drama club is helpful; pushing out of your comfort zone is a good skill to have, for one thing.
Video games are for your alone time. Important, but not so helpful really for the in person social things. (Note: A fun activity can be to have people over for couch multiplayer party type games.)
Bulking up isn't important AT ALL. Being fit, is.
Hygiene and hair are important, but mainly because if you don't take care of yourself, it shows lack of self-respect.

3

I've tried online dating apps but got zero matches and replies.

The apps can be a mess. Not that it matters, but based on interactions I've had with matches and female friends in general, it seems like women's inboxes often end up flooded with a ton of messages from guys either sending dick pics or basically opening by asking for sex.

So yeah, the apps can work, but it tends to be heavily boom and bust because the waves of desperate dudes come and go.

4

Clubbing has been a bit better but most girls there just wanna play games, and it's hard to talk over all the music.

Note: clubs are organized around two things: loud music and dancing. If you're there trying to talk over the music, it's like showing up to a LAN party without a computer and walking around trying to have conversations with people in the middle of a match.

Yeah, the girls there are often more casually minded. That's the nature of the place and the whole mystique around it. It's about letting go, not being serious. The way to connect with others at a club is by actually letting go. Dancing, not trying to have a conversation right off. You connect through the non-verbal.

5

There are some way better places to meet people. One helpful mindset is to look for groups or events that are centered around people who want to meet people, gathering to meet and interact with people. Here are some suggestions:

Hash runs: Trail running + beer + fit people = win
Couchsurfing meets: The basic idea around these meets is: Hang with travelers and people who like to be around travelers. You find these meets through informal FB couchsurfing groups or some paid membership websites (like this one). If you find couchsurfing groups on FB, it's free.
Social partner dancing: Salsa, Lindy Hop, West Coast Swing, Argentine Tango, just to name a few. You really can't go wrong. Learn something fun and have an excuse to be close to a girl in a fun and non-threatening way. (Just respect it as an activity & means to meet new people and work on self-improvement first, and place to meet women second.)
Download the Meet-up app. Scan for groups near you that you share an interest with.
Do a Facebook search for your city/town/area. Look under the Groups and Events tabs. Or you might search your city + some activity you're specifically interested in.

bournit · 2019-06-13T12:31:08+00:00

Daygame !

If you live in a well populated area (city of more 1mln people) do it !

It basically consists in getting out during day, approaching with a compliment hot chicks and - painfully - start learning how to have confidence and "game".

The process is long, and if you are outcome dependent (you want to get laid as soon as possible ) it's not for you. But long process, great gains in some months/year.

Try this "investor mentality", start spending your time to actually learn instead of enjoying easy things. Pass from virgin to high expert game guy.

If you'll try, a day you'll thank me ;)

P.s. This is not for people that fear rejections and others' opinions.

MBSCinsight · 2019-06-12T22:10:16+00:00

Stop going to clubs for now and actually work on yourself would be my suggestion. If you're not naturally an "alpha male" it's going to be harder for you to pull girls at clubs tbh and since you are a viring you're basically playing the lottery with clubs... good luck with that. Because in your mind you place such a high priority on getting laid, as crazy as this may sound, that is why you won't get laid. The scent of desperation is a scent that repels women. I suggest you substitute playing videos for going out and actually getting better with women if getting laid is your goal. It might take some time but it will be a skill that you develop that will never leave you and you'll rarely worry about getting laid but YOU HAVE TO PUT IN THE WORK!

hope this helps.

2019-06-12T16:04:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AssEatingReindeer · 2019-06-13T01:54:40+00:00

I think the best and worst advice is don't try constantly. If you're at a bar or club by all means shoot your shot. But just get your act together, workout, read a book do something you like. Women can smell it a mile away when you're being fake to sleep with them. As odd as it is, my sense of humor is extremely off, but I have great luck whenever I jest that I'm trying to suck a girl's toes or some stupid shit like that.

canarywocoalmine · 2019-06-12T16:01:31+00:00

Where do you live?

graund · 2019-06-12T17:46:26+00:00

You could always read models by Mark Manson, that helped me quite a bit

chocolatetunda1 · 2019-06-12T17:51:44+00:00

You might have some luck in your drama club.

freeganlicious · 2019-06-12T19:48:11+00:00

if you’re just wanting to no longer be a virgin, just walk into any club, and tell that one horny chick hanging all over everyone that you want to take her home. wa-lah, virginity lost forever!

it kind of sounds like you’re wanting more, & that you are regularly around women who you could be interested in...if you had the security of also knowing they were interested in you. if i’m wrong here, just refer back to the first paragraph.

if you’re still reading this, I’m going to guess that the women you are regularly around have put you in the friend zone? have no fear! it’s super easy to be recategorized! You just have to let the know you’re interested. Flirting with physical compliments! It works on girls you know as well as ones you don’t. the only rule is that they have to be sincere. cheesy pick up lines will just make you sound like an asshole who couldn’t put enough effort into a compliment to think of one himself. “damn you look good today” (is one of my favorites because its not overthought and makes her feel pretty the rest of the day, no matter who the compliment comes from) Feel free to make the alter them to fit your own personality! Flirting lets women know you’re interested and is so fun! It’s also one big confidence booster for both of you- you get practice flirting, and she’s flattered because she knows someone noticed her.

Make the right girl feel beautiful and treat her nice, and she’ll be dying to thank you privately.

BuffaBuffo · 2019-06-12T20:49:03+00:00

Guy or girl? I have two different perspective s🧐

panzaghor · 2019-06-12T21:48:59+00:00

Leave your house and act like a normal person, interact with people and don’t act like a needy ****. That simple

everythingharam · 2019-06-12T23:20:34+00:00

Op, can you touch on what you did at the club, because I have 0 game in the club / what to do...

Astrotravy · 2019-06-13T00:18:46+00:00

Grooming and taking care of yourself goes a long way. Hit the gym too, and yeah like other people say practice talking to people. Start small with a hey, then go into "hey, how are you" and on until you're having a somewhat full convo

jackzander · 2019-06-13T01:30:03+00:00

Personality? Despite your pedigree of hopeful qualities, this post reads like a furnace manual.

Dive into some comedy, explore the simple pleasure of talking to and experiencing a stranger, hand out candy to adults. Work on creating and receiving fun just for fun.

Fun is magic.

RedPillMissionary · 2019-06-13T01:37:34+00:00

Learn spanish and travel through latin america

derf2o9 · 2019-06-14T01:54:46+00:00

I see two issues you just wrote 1. Drama club 2. video games Lol. The first one you should quit, the 2nd you should probably keep to yourself

CantBanMeLUL · 2019-06-14T12:02:48+00:00

Just pay for it at 21 smfh

PolesWithGoals · 2019-06-12T15:54:33+00:00

Go to bars, different scenery than clubs

youKnowImRightBitch · 2019-06-12T18:48:26+00:00

Sure, lets keep giving advice like free candy to ....who? We don't know, we dont know his real plans, but whatever. 🤔

leaiaiai · 2019-06-12T21:47:54+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/selfimprovement/comments/773las/tldr_how_to_be_an_attractive_man/

BitsAndBobs304 · 2019-06-12T16:14:17+00:00

try joining university activity clubs, and local Meetup groups

Title	How can a 21 year old virgin increase his chances of getting laid?
Author	Ploikblah
Upvotes	188
Comments	72
Date	June 12, 2019 11:29 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bzq1r8/how_can_a_21_year_old_virgin_increase_his_chances/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-a-21-year-old-virgin-increase-his-chances.1471203 https://theredarchive.com/post/1471203

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