My fellow introverts, what's the best guide that you guys followed?

user20180620 · 2019-12-25T06:57:27+00:00

I get what you're saying. But my experience, as an introvert... Is that socialization stamina goes up if I lean into it.

I.e. if I make myself go do it long enough, I can do it longer each time without getting drained.

I suspect it has something to do with threat sensation. E.g. as a beginner, everything is a threat. So the brain is over clocked to forecast the future and prevent walking into traps. But after doing enough of it... The brain says, screw it, you aren't going to die. Shrug.

To your question... Game is a numbers thing. You have to interact with girls to progress.

I guess it's cold approach and one night lays if you can't stand building a social circle. .and there's advantages to cold approach for sure.

auxdub · 2019-12-25T18:10:23+00:00

Your definition of being an introvert is correct, but since lots of introverts have issues with being social and meeting new people (being shy, social phobia, etc.), a lot of people tend to relate both.

My strategy, as someone whos is an introvert and not very sociable, is to make daily approaches. Instead of going to social circles, bars, and clubs to meet women, try to establish a consistency of approaching one woman a day during your routine.

You can do it when going to the gym, commuting to work, whatever, just do it once and forget about it on the other 23 and a half hours of your day. Repeat it consistently.

When you start to get dates from these approaches, count one date as an approach. So if you're actually going out with a woman on a specific day, you don't need to approach that day. You can also take a day off on the week for some rest.

This works really good for me because it keeps me always prepared to approach any woman I find interesting but doesn't drain me from having to socialize a lot.

TANKER_06 · 2019-12-25T07:06:33+00:00

I'm just a normal guy that picked out what I found useful from all the material I come across the internet, and quite a lot of trial and error. I'm also an introvert.

I visit nightlife spots alone, as I can go in and get out at any time. Also, due to my being in the office for the entire day, my opportunities for day game is usually non-existent.

On the way to the club, I'd just relax and clear my mind. From there, I'll just listen to some music to hype myself up so that when I enter, I feel... in-sync with the club.

A beer or two before at a pub or "pre-drink" places do help too. Chat to some strangers, male, female, doesn't matter. Like pre-drinking, it helps "prime" me up.

I imagine social-exertion like a bar in a video game. it slowly ticks down once there are people around me, and talking to someone increases the rate it goes down. A good conversation might slow it slightly, but there reaches a point where I just feel drained regardless.

Getting buzzed from alcohol helps slow down the drain, but too much alcohol and it's instant shutdown.

This pre-club ritual of mine fixes my idiosyncrasies, maybe it might help you out.

To TL;DR it,

1) Clear your mind of any problems or troubles. Relax, take calming deep breaths and "reset" yourself.
2) Start chatting to strangers, regardless of gender or status before going to the venue.
3) Alcohol helps, but not too much or you may crash.
4) Leave when you got what you wanted. Lingering will start to increase social-exertion again.

BurnablesOnMondays · 2019-12-25T06:22:46+00:00

Following because I'm essentially the same. Just throw in obsessive, time-consuming hobbies into the mix. I'm still in the online dating stage because it's the only way that allows me to balance meeting new people and my social-battery-recharging time.

Pudding_people · 2019-12-25T11:42:56+00:00

You are talking to the wrong people. You are most likely talking to extroverts with no common interests nor adequate depth. There are extroverted types that you will like because you can have more interesting conversations with them. Hang around with them more. You are the average of the five people you hang around the most. You will become more socially fit by hanging around an extrovert that you respect.

Basic85 · 2019-12-25T06:23:58+00:00

I'm the quiet introvert type even in groups. I think it's pretty hopeless for me as I couldn't even game an older woman once, just couldn't close the deal, now how much of a loser am I? I'm lost.

I wish I could help you there but I was sarging, I was completely drained before the end of the night and had to force myself to approach and most ended badly.

2019-12-25T08:13:54+00:00

My left foot followed by my right.

RickyRockyDude · 2019-12-25T20:13:20+00:00

As someone that has learnt to outshine my most extroverted friends in group settings, but nonetheless feel my energy plummet if I spend too much time around others, I believe I might have some valuable advice on this. Would you be able to specify your question a bit further? What problems are you facing? What tweaks have you made so far? How much have you come to terms with your introversion, in terms of goals and habits? I started writing an answer, but it was hard to offer concise advice without knowing more.

2019-12-25T20:56:56+00:00

This isn’t going to be popular but after years of manuals and guides and blogs and redpills the only conclusion was this:

Faith

Ice666White · 2019-12-26T03:34:43+00:00

The Message Game Guide has been very helpful.

Hubblenobbin · 2019-12-26T05:04:18+00:00

"I know you say “introspective” but just a quick note on the closely related topic of “introverts”
first:
I find a lot of “introverts” are just guys hiding behind a socially acceptable label and use that
label as an excuse to avoid leaving their comfort zone, usually because they’re either scared to
let loose more or they simply don’t understand how to. People who meet me now assume I’m
an extrovert, but I used to consider myself an introvert before I got into game. What’s closer to
reality is that we all have extro/intro sides to us and game is just about learning to embrace and
express the extro side in certain environments/situations.
I believe there are VERY few self-identifying “introverts” who CAN’T be more extroverted given
the proper tools/guidance and motivation. Like I’ve said before, if you push yourself outside
your comfort zone and go out for a year straight, opening 10 sets a night, getting laid here and
there, making new friends, etc, and after all that you decide you still prefer to be alone with a
good book or whatever, then you’re probably naturally an introvert. If you haven’t pushed
those boundaries and you’ve declared yourself an introvert without having tested your
extrovert side, you are just hiding behind a label and making excuses for not taking action.
–
Anyway, for the introspective-but-not-socially-crippled guys you’re describing, they have to
remember that game essentially comes down to expressing yourself and your personality to the
girl.
An outgoing party guy can do that in a chaotic nightclub because he’s naturally the center of
attention and girls can see his congruent personality from across the room while he causes a
scene.
An introspective guy is going to fade into the background in that same environment because
while he may be super intellectual and be able to build a deep emotional connection with a girl,
he has to first get her attention to be in a position to demonstrate those attributes. That’s why
a lot of these guys, if they go out alone, end up pretending they’re James Bond and lean against
the bar all night, then go home alone having not talked to anyone…they might BE awesome but
they didn’t get a chance to demonstrate that to anyone in that environment.
So what’s the solution for them?
1) Learn to be more outgoing, to loosen up, and to let their extroverted side out in the club. A
LOT of guys are only “introverted” in the club because they’re scared to embarrass themselves
or let go and are terrified of social judgement and tell themselves “that’s not me” when they’re
really just chickenshit.
I know this because I’m actually closer to the introspective guy you describe than I am to the
outgoing Jersey Shore Stiffler party machine. And some of my social circles are full of highenergy crazy outgoing party guys who make me invisible beside them. So I’ve just learned to let
my outgoing side out in these environments because I love the girls there and I know I need a
window of opportunity to demonstrate my other awesome qualities and I won’t get that
window if I can’t be outgoing in the club environment.
That doesn’t mean I become a dancing monkey and try to act like my friends, it means that
when my friends are causing a scene dancing, I know my game is primarily verbal so I’ll make
sure to approach a girl or grab one of the girls we’ve met and say something she can’t ignore
and start sucking her into my personality. So when my friends dance, I may approach a set of
girls watching them and say “hey quit staring at my friends’ asses, ya fuckin perverts.”, forcing
myself onto their radar, then isolate one with “you’re fun, what’s your name?” and turn her
away from our friends and start leading her energy down to a lower key and build
rapport/comfort and display my verbal awesomeness…thus creating my window in a highenergy club environment without being a full out Stiffler.
Tyler from RSD has a bunch of videos on the steps he forces himself to take when he’s out to
get out of his introspective “inside-my-head” mode and into a partying mode. Hit up his stuff on
YouTube and try it out for like 6 months and see what gels for you.
So the idea here isn’t that you’re changing yourself, it’s that you’re working toward embracing
and enhancing a side of yourself that you may not be used to displaying except when you’re
around close friends (like there’s no social judgement worries when you’re with your best
friends shouting and laughing over an Xbox game together…if you can do that, guess what, you
have an extroverted side, you just don’t know how or are scared to tap into it in public with
strangers).
The main idea is that you learn to get her attention so you can then demonstrate all your cool
shit that she would never have seen because you were blending into the background.
Or 2) Change your environment to one that’s more conducive to displaying your quiet
introspective personality. ie – do Daygame instead of nightclub game. Go to happy hour at a
chill lounge instead of a chaotic nightclub full of loud music and energy and distractions and
cockblocks etc. Game at the mall and in bookstores and coffee shops and all that.
And/or focus on social circle game, where you’re given an introduction and the girl is forced to
be around you long enough to see you express yourself in your introspective way. Like at a club
if you’re solo, you’ll blend into the background and go home alone…but if you have a group of
5-10 friends there, and some of them are extroverted and/or female, well hey, now you’re
probably going to meet a few new girls a night just thru your friends, and those girls are going
to be sitting at your table, or at your pre-drinking gathering, or coming to an after-party, or
even just forced to spend a few minutes talking to you while your mutual friend goes to the
bathroom.

Babababababab57 · 2019-12-25T12:29:08+00:00

She adopted me

Drygord · 2019-12-26T00:01:33+00:00

Social draining? Social interactions should charge you up. Get your energy out there.

Title	My fellow introverts, what's the best guide that you guys followed?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	85
Comments	23
Date	December 25, 2019 4:04 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/efbq78/my_fellow_introverts_whats_the_best_guide_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-fellow-introverts-whats-the-best-guide-that-you.1486878 https://theredarchive.com/post/1486878

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