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[–]Not_a_robot771 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
My approach has always been the 2 time eye contact rule. Once can be an accident, twice is intentional. Smile on the second time, if she smiles back, think of something to say. Easy to have a topic in a grocery store as well, since you usually have her and your basket full of stuff.
You’re gonna wanna keep a conversation like this short and sweet with the goal in mind to get contact information to schedule a second meeting since a grocery store date is likely not very passion inducing. Lol.
If you’re a bit rusty, try it on less attractive women first, or even older women, just to get your conversation skills back on track. Then move on to the actual targets.
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
think of something to say
this will kill every chance because you'll be stuck in 99% times. instead, apply the 3-5 seconds rule: the moment you have decided to talk to her, start going toward her and improvise.
[–]Not_a_robot771 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
Improvising can lead to awkwardness tho, personally I like to be a man with a plan. Like, take a quick look at what she’s standing by and making it a fun topic. It kinda goes hand in hand with practicing on other people first. When you talk to women often it’s easier to improvise. He said he’s a bit rusty so I figured improvising wouldn’t be the best way to do it! You don’t improvise your first car sale, you follow steps. But I do agree that once you’re trained, you can improvise and approach confidently.
[–]Hubblenobbin 6 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
IMO being rusty means you should enforce the 3 second rule. As you get rid of AA, game plans become more reasonable.
[–]Not_a_robot771 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Agreed to an extend, once again keep a few things in mind: the guy is rusty and it’s a small town.
I grew up in a town this size, and everybody knows everybody. Even in the city I live in now which has almost 2 million people, everybody is surprisingly connected.
That’s why I stick with my original advice: practice on others first. Like literally anybody, from elderly people, to the grocery store workers. Just getting into the flow of talking to random people again before actually going after your targets.
Practicing on your targets is a bad idea. You don’t start your career in the majors.
[–]Hubblenobbin0 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
extent*
Practicing on your targets is a bad idea.
So if there aren't a lot to choose from that's a good idea. Talking to people in a non-sexual context is in many ways a different skill. There are also a lot of extraneous variables in conversation with people who aren't attractive girls. There are quirks to conversations with attractive girls that you won't find elsewhere. Not to say there isn't crossover, or it isn't a useful skill, it's just not one-to-one and thus your practice isn't going to be ideal. Game is really built around the idea of an abundance of targets, the reason why our instincts fight cold approach so hard (in AA) is because it was a terrible idea in small tribes. As such bigger cities are preferred.
You don’t start your career in the majors.
No offense meant, that's a fucked up mindset for game. Attraction game benefits greatly from knowing leagues don't apply to you. You are above them like a god rules over men. Learning that mindset early saves you trouble later. The other way to do it is that leagues don't exist, I like the first though. I'm a fan of the crucible.
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Improvising can lead to awkwardness tho, personally I like to be a man with a plan
well, the plan should be to approach her. because improvising is (usually) spontaneus.
the point is that if you think too much, you'll NEVER do something scaring. so, if you decide to approach, the best thing is to not think until you start walking toward her. something will happen for sure, even if you get an awkward moment, it's a better lesson than not trying at all. after 2-3 times/fails the rust will go away.
I prefer to train on fails than failing for not trying, frozen by approach anxiety.
[–]Not_a_robot771 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But as the comment below states, in a city of 60k people it’s easy to get a bad rep if you’re failing on 2-3 girls. They all know each other. Before you know it you’re known as the guy that hits on women creepily.
And you’re also missing a key point that I mentioned; practice on others first. Being spontaneous isn’t a skill that all people naturally have.
Improvising is only a good idea if you have some sort of natural skill, or a trained plan from watching a dating coach.
So yes, you’re right in that being spontaneous is a good idea, but only if you’re either naturally a spontaneous guy, or if you’ve been in the game for a while. Otherwise its a guaranteed way to be known as a player very quick.
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
in a city of 60k people it’s easy to get a bad rep if you’re failing on 2-3 girls
I live in a city of ~60k people and I think that before you get known as the guy that hits on women creeply you first need to 1) act creeply on a lot of people 2) in several public places.
And you’re also missing a key point that I mentioned; practice on others first.
I never said the contrary. I've just said that if you have to think about what to say before taking action, you aren't going to freeze at all, especially if you're a beginner.
of if you have enough experience. training a skill can become a second nature, but you have to start somewhere.
Otherwise its a guaranteed way to be known as a player very quick.
I don't understand why you think that failure is granted or that you come as a player to people only because you're a beginner. Also, OP is just a bit rusty.
[–]axe122 -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
He should just walk up and tease her for whatever’s in her basket, cornflakes? Really? Your lucky your cute cuz I usually don’t talk with cronlake eaters in fact it was forbidden in my family to associate with this who is cornflakes,
Something that doesn’t require much thought and gets you into a mattering conversation right away.
Living in a small town is tough cuz you don’t wannabe the guy who gets the rep of hitting on every girl and getting blown out. Hitting on every girl and taking them out is a much better rep as evens though some will call you a pig or player they will usually still want their chance at your Ive see. That happen hundreds of times.
[–]Not_a_robot771 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
If you read my earlier comment you’ll notice I say “practice on others before going to your target”. That’s the whole way to avoid getting a bad rep. If you’re a trained smooth talker you’re not gonna have to worry about coming across as a player, same way that good salesman don’t sound salesy. I grew up in a town of exactly that size, 60k people. I never had any issues. Also you don’t really want to get into a “mattering conversation” in the middle of the grocery store. The point of meeting in places like that is to have a quick conversation that intrigues her interests and sets you up for an actual date. Trying to turn the grocery store into your date is a bad idea.
[–]axe122 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I absolutely get into conversations with them there, 15-20 min is a conversation,it definitely increases your chance of an insta date or actually get the phone number. I don’t know what word spell check made mattering from but I do not what I’ve had success with and if you go up make a joke asks for a number and leave it’s eeealt a gamble as to wether the numbers real or she will answer or set a date. Even if I can’t do an insta date cuz we’re bringing cold food that needs to go home in fridge I’ll set up the date with a time jump in person before I even get her number.
[–]Not_a_robot771 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Different approaches work for different people I guess! That’s the beauty of the game, there’s really not just one way that works! There’s plenty of ways that don’t work though haha.
[–]axe122 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Agreed, I do find on cold approach my success rate diminishes when when I don’t talk with them for at least 15 min, if I just ask for the number I’m basically getting by on my looks which can work and is worth it if I’m busy but if I stay for like 15 to 20 set the date and talk for another 5 and get outa there works best for percentage. If you stay to long is decreased your chances though cuz unless your doing an insta date which typically your not gonna do at The supermarket cuz you gotta go home and put cold shit in freezer/fridge. For me I found that sweet spot of roughly 15-20 min gets me the highest success rate anywhere. I always start with a false time constantly too cuz getting out and leaving her wanting more is extremely important, especially on a time bridge.
[–]Not_a_robot771 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Can’t stress that last point enough! “Leaving her wanting more is extremely important”. So many guys want to keep dragging things on when it’s going well. I made that mistake myself last weekend. Had this girl that was super into me, and then on the date I tried to stretch it out as long as possible, basically leaving nothing for her to want anymore by the end of it. Leaving when things are going great is actually best.
[–]Hubblenobbin3 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Don't wait for IoI's, you're screwing over so many girls who aren't paying attention, can't tell your personality from afar, don't want to seem thirsty/awkward etc.
[–]RedDeAngelo 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ask her if the weird pasta mushroom sauce she got is any good.
[–]Xazax310 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm in the same boat, live in small town PA where the entire county is about 100k people spread over miles. Most of the good looking women are at the gym or stores. Almost none come to the bars, most if they do are with BFs or Married.
My approaches, which haven't been many, have been "Hey, I think your cute" then roll from there. Just remember women have no game and you're doing 90% of the talking or asking a question, or making a statement. Since you're not from the town that's your best opener. "I think your cute" (await response) "I'm new to this town, moved out from yada" (await response) end with "Come hang out and grab a drink with me at this place this time(have somewhere in mind beforehand!)" (await response) Grab phone #. Spend no more than 5 minutes in that interaction.
Key too is if she says shes busy or rejects you. Be super friendly. because you are in a small town and you'll run into the people again at somepoint if you keep staying there.
Good luck!
[–]SmoothPrimal 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
60k is too small. You’ll end up running into the same people and you might get banned.
[–]Xazax310 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
seriously who get banned from a place for talking? That's an excuse.
[–]SmoothPrimal 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have never been banned, but I know how city guys pick up girls and it won’t fly in a small town.
I know everyone is gungho about this shit and think you just gotta “man up”, but I’ve done daygame for years and you need to be smart about this or you end up like all the other “pick up artists” who get banned from venues.
Just do a quick google search and you’ll see it happens.
[–]Not_a_robot771 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Only if you’re inappropriate/ harassing people. That’s why I suggested starting conversations with other people first, so when it comes to actual women he’s interested in, he doesn’t come across creepy.
[–]Paltenburg 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
you might get banned.
Then you're doing something wrong anyway.. your frame has to be strong in that it comes over as normal what you do (talking to people you don't know).
Especially: The smaller the town, the more you have something in common. "I don't know you, but we're from the same town, so we're part of the same "club"".
All this theoretical bullshit does fuckall when jist one lady complains to management about being bothered.
I’ve done this for years and never got banned because I know the reality of it.
Go look up pick up artists getting banned from venues and getting treated like a criminal because they think frame will get past legal issues.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah no ... sometimes there’s just one chick who gets annoyed because you’re too real for her and she has a big ego so feels the need to complain about you to get a power trip. It’s doesnt happen often but when it does, all you need is that one complaint to be kicked out and possibly banned.
[–]thedudesmashes 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The only reason improvising is awkward to you is because you're not used to it. I do it so often that I can make it seem natural. Practice makes perfect, no exceptions to that rule.
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[–]Not_a_robot771 5 points6 points7 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 5 points6 points7 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]Not_a_robot771 1 point2 points3 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hubblenobbin [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Not_a_robot771 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Hubblenobbin0 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Not_a_robot771 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ModeratorCaptain_w00t -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]axe122 -1 points0 points1 point (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Not_a_robot771 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]axe122 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Not_a_robot771 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]axe122 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Not_a_robot771 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hubblenobbin3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]RedDeAngelo 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Xazax310 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SmoothPrimal 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Xazax310 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SmoothPrimal 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Not_a_robot771 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Paltenburg 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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