I (26 f) have never been approached by a guys in public

GrandMasterB19 · 2020-07-21T04:07:14+00:00

I'm a guy, and I just wanted to say that I've noticed over the years that most guys are generally approaching less and less. From talking to other guys I've found it's usually either fear of rejection because they've been rejected in harsh ways before, or they have low self-esteem problems so impending rejection simply crushes them and isn't worth the risk. The other reason is that many guys are scared of coming off as creepy. There's a lot of weird stuff going around about men because of the whole political correctness movement and many guys these days are petrified of somehow offending a woman, creeping her out, or objectifying her. This stuff is very confusing to most guys. On top of all that, many men are retreating to internet pornography to meet their sexual needs due to these frustrations and limitations. It's really sad because nobody is getting what they want right now on either side.

My best advice would be to be as inviting as possible, and signal to guys you like that you're open to being approached. These days I really don't appraoch women without getting some signal of interest first. It's not really worth it to flag down women that aren't interested, no matter how attractive they are. I'm also very open to being approached by women with the right energy, so some guys might respond well to that if you want to go that route. Some guys don't like being approached though, so proceed with caution. Make sure to stay grounded in your feminine energy, that will help keep him in his masculine and empower him to take the lead.

timeForRanch · 2020-07-21T03:09:19+00:00

Short of you just approaching guys, I think there’s very little you can do to make yourself seem approachable other than being approachable

I think the typical advice will be something along the lines of “positively respond to a nearby guy’s presence!!” But normal, unpracticed dudes (I’d say like 85% of dudes are unpracticed) tend to freeze up if you just respond to their presence without more evidence that you’re open to them approaching. Example: if you’re in line at a coffee shop and a guy stands next to you—and you open your body position towards him and smile—the dude is probably gonna blush, maybe smile back, and look away. He’ll be doing calculus in his head as to what just happened until you both leave

I’d say the best way is to carry yourself with a flirty persona in a public place where people tend to get approached while alone in that place. And don’t default to looking at your phone; that’s a big one. When you look at your phone, it communicates “I’m busy” to the guy. When you don’t look at your phone, it communicates “I’m waiting for something to happen” to the guy (the guy will not always assume you’re waiting to be spoken to; he may try to respect your distance and assume you’re just a spatially attentive person). And even then, you probably won’t get approached by the exact dudes you want to get approached by

TL;DR It’s intimidating to cold open with women. Help them out with open body language, a smile, and alertness while in a semi-social location

pua_max · 2020-07-21T07:15:59+00:00

For my selfish approacher ass I hope girls never figure out how to get more men to approach. Less competition for me ;).

Here’s a tip though: Strong eye contact (like 2-3 sec) and a smile. Also don’t seem in a hurry. Chief concern in a guy’s mind is: am I going to be a weird bother? Try to help them w that.

2020-07-21T05:37:17+00:00

You have to send out chosing signals. I ain't going to approach a girl that isn't interested in me. But If I see her looking at me and smiling or something. I'll hit her up

gend_ar231 · 2020-07-21T05:45:32+00:00

girl..im in the same boat with you. sending hugs

revente · 2020-07-21T05:53:37+00:00

Maybe you are too unatractive or maybe you are too atractive. Stop being a spoiled princess relying on guys to do everything for you and approach yourself.

Tongue37 · 2020-07-21T05:18:58+00:00

I know a girl right around your age that told me the same thing.. She has never been approached in public by guys. She is tall for a girl but she is cute and has a nice body. She is introverted though and a bit "stiff".. She rarely looks like she's happy or comfortable so I'm thinking guys see her as being very closed off

Are you introverted? Introverts can sometimes give off a very "stay away from me" vibe. It's in their body language and how they carry themselves, hard to explain ..

Are you giving guys indicators of interest? Meaning, you look at guys and briefly smile or something similar?

joy010294 · 2020-07-21T07:09:30+00:00

Thanks for your advice. So when I’m going out I try to not stick around with my phone as much as possible. I’d prefer to socialize or enjoy the atmosphere. Maybe I look a bit stiff... I don’t know if I show the guys evidence that I’m open (like smiling) would they think it’s weird... like they may have thought in their mind “why the hell she’s smiling?” “Is she okay?” Something like that.

vcarpe · 2020-07-22T02:37:52+00:00

It will depend on where you live.

If you came to Portugal, I am pretty sure you would be approached.

Also, during the day I assume it is rare.

During the night, if your friends are more good-looking then it can make it harder.

joy010294 · 2020-07-21T05:10:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	I (26 f) have never been approached by a guys in public
Author	joy010294
Upvotes	14
Comments	31
Date	July 21, 2020 2:53 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/huzix2/i_26_f_have_never_been_approached_by_a_guys_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-26-f-have-never-been-approached-by-a-guys-in.1499064 https://theredarchive.com/post/1499064

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