What are some men hoping to accomplish when they talk to a woman like she's an object?

kettlebell_workout · 2020-12-28T08:44:18+00:00

Simple answer. LACK OF EXPERIENCE.

They just don't know how to talk with women.

When I broke up with my first and the only girlfriend, I went to dating apps. Had literally 100s of conversations, and none of them were successful. So I showed those conversations to my ex. I have never seen her laughing so loud.

At first, I thought I will just be myself and texted "Hi. How are you?" Well, that didn't work. No reply.

Then I thought, maybe I should be sincere. "Hi. You are very cute. What is your name?" Well, that didn't work as well.

Then, I thought, maybe I should make it more interesting. I am good with words and can come up with all types of pick up lines.

Me "Hi. You should be arrested!"

She "Why?"

Me "Your beauty is killing me."

That definitely got some response. But the conversations didn't lead anywhere. Later I realised that I was just a joke for those women.

At this point, I started to get frustrated. But didn't give up. With a little bit of research, I found that texting should be only for making dates. I should go to the point.

Me "Hi. I will straight go to the point. I like you. Wanna go on a date?" or

Me: "Hi. You seem cute. What's your number?"

Me: "Hi. Let us skip all the bs. What is your number?

And so on.

To my surprise, it didn't work as well!! I mean. FUCK. I am a normal guy, my photos are good, I get matches. But I can't seem to make any dates.

I got angry. And I showed that to my matches.

Me: "It does not look like you are looking for serious relationship..."

Me: "How much?"

Me: "Why do you ask what are my hobbies, you will ghost me anyways..."

Me: "Nice cameltoe"

And many more...

But didn't give up. Still tried and tried. It took me 100s of conversations and community help to learn how to text.

I bet many guys who you text with are in the same boat. They are normal guys, but they just don't know how to do it, cause they have little to no experience with women in a first place.

gmml4 · 2020-12-28T10:07:54+00:00

They probably don’t have luck with regular approaches because women don’t give the time of day, so the are thinking they have to be much more direct and audacious in their approaches to stick out from the crowd and seem kind of like an alpha male. It might not work (hasn’t for me either) but I think they try it because nothing else worked (same reason I tried such things). You might be a girl who responds well to more casual approaches but many girls will either ignore or quickly lose interest after a short texting back and forth with those approaches so guys are trying to make a distinctive first impression, even if it too is to no avail.

2020-12-28T15:10:18+00:00

I agree with the other guy's comment. The men are interested in what they see and what they see is that you have a nice body that they'd like to be intimate with. I'm not putting you down and I'm sure you're a wonderful woman who helps others in need, but don't portray your beauty too much as it'll attract the wrong kind of attention. Clearly these pervertic men are only interested in sleeping with you because they do not feel the need to be in a proper relationship with you so they'd cut to the chase and get your body to pleasure themselves because they like what they see (like animals).

I saw a quote once that went "dressing provocatively is like rolling in mud. You'll get the attention but mostly from pigs".

I hope you'll find a proper man who will love you for your character instead of your looks

caesarfecit · 2020-12-28T18:17:22+00:00

There's three reasons that guys hit on girls like how OP is describing.

The first is the simplest - they just have no clue and they're basically spitballing. Even I do this sometimes, despite knowing better.

The second is more complicated and I'll explain it like this.

Guys through trial and error have figured out that if they want to turn a girl on and get her invested in making something happen, they need to show some sexual intent. The difficulty is, figuring out exactly how much intent to show, which can vary depending on the girl, how attracted she is, and how far along things are. Most guys have a hard enough time just figuring out if a girl is attracted to them, so one can hardly be surprised that they miss the mark on a more complicated riddle.

And the third reason is screening. This is more common on online dating apps where a guy is trying to figure out which girls are DTF and which girls are just bored and want attention.

bigchickenleg · 2020-12-28T18:36:12+00:00

I decided I wasn't feeling it, and was trying to slowly wean him off of me.

Should you encounter behavior that makes you uncomfortable in the future, I would encourage you to cut things off immediately and entirely. Dragging things out only prolongs the harassment you're receiving.

AloofusMaximus · 2020-12-28T19:31:35+00:00

Sorry about your bad luck!

That stuff is just straight cringe. Keep in mind most men aren't as well socialized as women. They likely aren't successful, and don't realize they come off as sleazy.

Generally a man's interest in a woman IS going to be because she ticks his box for attractive (and there's variety in this). A lot of people have a hard time realizing that men and women think and feel differently (and aren't necessarily attracted to the same things as them).

Like some others have said a big part of it is just inexperience. When they've only had 1 (or a couple) of relationships, they most likely got there by happenstance.

You're under no obligation to pay those guys any mind, just move on (and quickly if you can). Not all men are socially retarded.

Forget the DD, show me how you play pp! 😁

BABYbabyworm · 2020-12-28T21:56:11+00:00

Ok this isn’t an answer to your question, I just wanted to jump on here and say WOW some of the responses to this are truly revolting. Blaming women for being objectified because they’re “dressed revealingly”?? Or trying to hurry to sex because a woman’s personality is boring??

Those explanations are objectification of women in and of themselves. If a woman wants fast casual sex, it’s usually pretty obvious and usually there isn’t any date involved. Or if a woman wants to be grabbed, usually there is some clear initiation involved. Women aren’t just things to touch and use. And it’s no excuse to say that men aren’t well socialized or that men think about women’s bodies when women dress revealingly.

All of this is the same reasoning being used by rape apologists.

OP, you shouldn’t have to do anything differently. We’re just waiting for men to catch up and treat us like equals.

Radicalmattitude1 · 2020-12-29T00:36:22+00:00

In short, they have no game. Guys like this don’t know how to interact with women sexually/romantically/intimately because they lack social awareness and are probably very insecure about not having success with women. Instead of going on an introspective journey to learn about themselves and how they come across to the women they interact with, they just throw shit at the wall and hope it sticks.

Why?

Because of ego. It’s so much easier to delude yourself into thinking you have game than to go on the introspective journey because that involves rejection, a lot of it. Most guys are so ego driven that they would rather avoid rejection at all costs than make a genuine connection with a woman. Women become mere artifacts in their delusional worldview that are meant to preserve their self image.

Welcome to the psyche of about 90% of the male population.

This is why learning game is so important - so that at the very least, you don’t act like a creepy weirdo .

daproest1 · 2020-12-28T07:43:25+00:00

Idk. I’ve never understood this. And I’m a jerk. I always asked myself since I was a boy “why do they think that would work?”

BurnItDownSR · 2020-12-28T11:01:32+00:00

Not saying you do this but for one, if a girl brings more attention to her body than other things about herself, she shouldn't be surprised that guys give attention to the thing she's bringing attention to.

Like, if her social media is filled with more sexy selfies than intellectual posts or posts that showcase other sides of her personality then why would she expect to attract the attention of guys who are more interested in who she is as a person?

Seemingly meaningful quotes as a caption to a sexy photo don't count because its not the quote that's attracting the attention.

Also girls who just dress very revealingly or do so to accentuate their assests. I mean, they deliberately want their breasts, legs, and/or ass to look good in the outfit they're wearing while also being quiet or reserved in the company of others yet they want guys to focus on the thing they're keeping hidden instead of the things they deliberately accentuate?

Finally, if you are particularly beautiful or sexy, almost regardless of how you dress, you may be overestimating how good of a personality you have.

Maybe you do try to highlight your personality on social media and in person but maybe others are actually just hanging around you because they think they'd look cool to be seen as someone who's friends with the hot girl or because they want to sleep with you, not because they genuinely enjoy your personality.

Guys might have actually been listening and trying to get to know you as a person at first but got bored with it so they decided to focus on your body instead.

I know personally, when I'm with a girl who I really enjoy talking to and doing non-sexual stuff with, I've tried to put off sex so we could do other cool stuff on our date that I know I'd genuinely enjoy doing with her but when I'm with a girl whose personality isn't particularly appealing to me but she's hot then I try to move fast towards sex.

With a girl who doesn't have an appealing personality its like I'm trying to skip to the fun part when I move things quickly to sex, with a girl who has an appealing personality, I'm already having fun with her so I don't need the sex to come for me to enjoy our time together.

Now, I get that guys also make mistakes around this issue and we can focus on what guys are doing wrong but how is that gonna help you?

With the knowledge of what guys are doing wrong you may be a little more empathetic and understanding of them and maybe you might help them communicate better with you but at the same time, you can only do so much to control the actions of others.

Its better to know how to attract the kind of guys you want to attract because that comes from your actions, you have way more control over that, so you have better odds of actually getting what you want when you look at what you could be doing wrong and what you could improve on.

a202aa · 2020-12-28T15:15:00+00:00

Some women objectify themselves and then complain about sexism! People treat you how you treat yourself genuinely!! If you act like a complete object whose just waiting for any opportunity to get used then that’s stupid but that’s all what you’re gonna get

I feel some women don’t engage their brains or they genuinely believe they’re objects!

revente · 2020-12-28T11:17:56+00:00

I don't like the 'objectifying argument'. Men don't say or do that stuff to objects, they do it to women they are interested in. It's a result of poor socialization with women. The result is crass, borderline rapey.

ilikebigtitsnnipples · 2020-12-29T04:08:38+00:00

Stick dick in pussy

2020-12-28T18:34:45+00:00

Where are you meeting these guys

Title	What are some men hoping to accomplish when they talk to a woman like she's an object?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	29
Comments	39
Date	December 28, 2020 6:42 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kll7tn/what_are_some_men_hoping_to_accomplish_when_they/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-are-some-men-hoping-to-accomplish-when-they.1507750 https://theredarchive.com/post/1507750

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