when meeting a woman physically, should you be seated facing each other or side to side

muff_marauder · 2020-12-28T09:29:47+00:00

Facing each other to start with.

Hopefully the date goes well and you end up sitting side by side later.

jstrdng77 · 2020-12-28T12:03:25+00:00

No shit man thx, I thought you were supposed to sit on her all these years.....

menwithmanners · 2020-12-28T13:10:01+00:00

Facing each other, for sure. Sitting side by side is too intimate for the first date. It's also more annoying if you're trying to keep eye contact with her (all the head-turning will strain your neck, and you'll be sitting in a slightly unnatural position all evening trying to face her)

contrastwars · 2020-12-28T09:18:39+00:00

Do you like to look at her in the eye and talk or want to be seated next to her? Ask her what she's comfortable with. I personally like to be seated facing each other it's easier to share food, play board games etc.

2020-12-28T09:57:22+00:00

Just depends on logistics or your personal style. I like to be side by side as it gives me chances to look away and not have to be doing stuff all the time, plus much easier to do Kino when she's right next to you. However, the table might be weird and it would be better to sit across from each other or maybe the woman is not comfortable with the intimacy's yet. So just use your instincts to figure this out.

kettlebell_workout · 2020-12-28T10:24:01+00:00

First, sit across each other.

After like 15-30 min sit next to her.

Otherwise-Sherbet · 2020-12-28T15:48:32+00:00

First part of the date, across from one another. Whether it's coffee or dinner. I always suggest a drink afterwards and I sit at the bar with them. That way you get to sit next to her without being weird.

BouncyBlue12 · 2020-12-29T01:02:09+00:00

I always prefer facing each other. Side by side makes it feel super awkward. Also, eye contact is an important factor in deciding attraction.

scorp-rising · 2020-12-29T02:12:34+00:00

So I have been in situations where I was meeting a guy for the first time, and they decided to sit right next to me. This made me feel so nervous and uncomfortable that it never went to a second date. It makes conversation super awkward, and women especially need to feel safe and comfortable on a first date. Side by side is too close and there is a huge chance of being touched uncomfortably or simply bumping your head into each other by mistake. Don’t be a weirdo and sit across from each other till you have a second/third date. Now, if you are at a bar then turn towards each other but still have some distance in between. Side by side would be more intimate and at that point hopefully you’ll feel comfortable with your shoulders touching or a hand on knee etc. Face to face on a first date would allow you to make comfortable and engaging eye contact and gauge someone’s body language appropriately!

MakeSail · 2020-12-29T04:28:44+00:00

Disclosure: I am a man.

When meeting a woman for the first time, like at a coffee shop for example, I sit at a non-threatening off angle, not directly across and not side by side, and I try not to have a table between us. I push the small tables away a bit so there is nothing directly between us, but I can still use to put my cup on if I want to.

I don't know how I know the best angle, but I will move my chair till it feels right for me, meaning I can sense she is at ease. I sit close enough so she can touch me if she wants to on the arm or leg.

While making an emotional connection I tend to move to sitting directly across from her or she is right beside me. Which approach I take really depends on the woman. Some are very direct and others a little more shy.

So I think my approach above is neutral until I understand more about her, her comfort level and needs. As trust between us grows I move accordingly taking into account her personality. I have true empathy so it's really no work for me to understand her emotions and adjust accordingly. So if the above sounds like a lot of work, its auto pilot for me.

Also, I always approach women I am meeting for the first time off-angle and not head-on. Head-on is much too threatening. A basic need for women is physical safety. Your body language should be non-threatening and friendly (be happy and excited to see her). Be calm and say something nice or open ended. I like statements rather than questions to start a conversation. Like a statement about your surroundings, or about her. Like, It's so nice to finally meet you. Make her feel wanted and safe.

An old bachelor trick is to wear a pin on you jacket lapel so a date can comment on it. I have a pin of Kokopelli (fertility deity), which when asked about the pin can result in some funny response.

averageannaa · 2020-12-29T11:04:20+00:00

Sitting across each other if it’s first date or like second, I would rather sitting side by side if I like that person and feel comfortable

ImJustSo · 2021-01-02T17:05:03+00:00

I never sit across from women unless I'm interviewing them. In a dating setting, I'm sitting next to them and I'm touching them somehow. Either our legs, arms, or shoulders. I have difficulty "escalating" if I'm not comfortable and I'm not comfortable sitting face to face with someone, because that feels very stiff. It feels very formal. I don't touch people in formal situations and you can't with a table between you.

Escalating is a ladder process to me. One step at a time. If I go skipping rungs on the ladder, that makes me nervous, like I'll fall off. Alternatively, if I never put my hand on the ladder in the first place, then I'll be perfectly content on the ground, because it's safe there.

If I want to get to the top of the ladder with a woman, then I need to start climbing.

Coincidentally, women appreciate this, and whenever they start getting nervous, then I stop climbing the ladder. Since I've been taking one careful step at a time, they always have time to let me know that they're nervous. My problem is when women just jump halfway up my ladder and I've suddenly got lips on mine. Like shit, now I gotta decide, "Are we going up? Or do I dive off this ladder way the fuck up here? One of us is gonna get hurt!"

Title	when meeting a woman physically, should you be seated facing each other or side to side
Author	d_thstroke
Upvotes	11
Comments	17
Date	December 28, 2020 9:14 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/kln64y/when_meeting_a_woman_physically_should_you_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/when-meeting-a-woman-physically-should-you-be.1507752 https://theredarchive.com/post/1507752

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