How do I vet men if I am a walking morass of red flags?

HappySpinningSeal · 2024-03-29T13:14:20+00:00

OP, your specific situation is beyond the scope of what internet strangers here can assist with, and you seem to ignore advice given here anyway. It would be a good idea to discuss with your care team whether being a mother is right for you (20+ year old conversations don't count), receive therapy for your moodiness, and consider social skills therapy that could assist you on your journey to find a relationship. This thread has been locked.

SecretFeminine · 2024-03-29T02:49:58+00:00

There's great news: despite any diagnosis, you can improve your situation. Whether it be through medication, behavioral therapy, coaching, or whatever proves to work, you can improve your stability and social graces. You study, you practice, and you improve. Once you feel you're a good partner, the kind of partner your ideal man is looking for, then start dating.

Editing to add that I read your post history and your violence is one of those red flags. That would be my behavioral priority. There's no room in healthy relationships for violence (not for partners and especially not for children).

xx_AphroditeDove_xx · 2024-03-29T03:37:26+00:00

To be frank it would be unethical and irresponsible of you to have children due to your severe mental instability and violence.

It is also nearly impossible for you to attract someone who is a good man because a man with good qualities does not want to be with a woman like you, generally. Sometimes being very attractive, young, or rich can make people look past behaviors like that, but if you are none of the above then it is harder to near impossible honestly.

Your best course of action would be to better yourself and instill emotional regulation. A lot of your previous posts are extremely concerning and I don't think children or even an adult man would necessarily be safe around you

Independent-Bend-138 · 2024-03-29T02:50:47+00:00

Please get an evaluated if you need to please also reach out to a therapist or a psychiatrist or both that can help you to find the plan to suit you and get you medicated if needed. you have to start with self love also and heal the inner wounds that you may have within you if you don’t love yourself and heal yourself how can someone love you? I think self love videos and also workshops might be good for you. if you believe that, you don’t deserve something that’s how others are gonna treat you and view you as the healing and the solutions starts with you and maybe sign up for therapy behavioral therapy. Specifically you have to do the inner work before looking for a relationship. Focus on bettering yourself and being stable. Once you’re healthy to get in a relationship with the clear mindset, you can start dating your future partner will find you.

AutoModerator · 2024-03-29T02:30:47+00:00

Title: How do I vet men if I am a walking morass of red flags?

Author SquirrelofLIL

Full text: Hi folks. As you know I'm a 42F with a severe mental illness. I was under a full segregation special Ed order my entire life and am trying to get better by finding the right mix of antipsychotics.

The question becomes do I think I'm too good for men that I deserve? Because honestly, because of the way I am, I don't think I deserve much. Everyone is dunking on me for wanting kids because I'm violently autistic and a more severe type.

The men who are attracted to me are neurodivergent in ways that I find deeply cringe and vile, I'm actively repulsed but unlike a normal female, hot men don't stick it in crazy and so I have to date within my league.

How do I stay within my league and find a guy who won't drag me down?

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Title	How do I vet men if I am a walking morass of red flags?
Author	SquirrelofLIL
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	March 29, 2024 2:30 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1bqe48c/how_do_i_vet_men_if_i_am_a_walking_morass_of_red/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-i-vet-men-if-i-am-a-walking-morass-of-red.1513473 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513473

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