Hi folks, I'm a 40F VHCOL NYC and am going monk mode for 2 years to raise my SMV as a beta provider, then starting to date at 42. My boyfriend died early this year as well.

Most guys here want to date a woman that makes more than 60k, even 100, 120k if you dont come from a good family but kind of as a dowry if your marrying a gentleman raised in the suburbs.

I don't live in a close knit ethnic community, so the mainstream multi racial NYC dating pool is my experience and I will be judged along a mainstream standard.

I have outcome independence when it comes to fertility, and am mostly working on homeownership, defensive driving, computer science.

Im learning everything from coding, stock trading hammering CodeCademy 4 hours a day and skipping dinner to lose weight.

I also tried Christianity, a religion I respect a lot and use many practices from like Psalm recitation, and it wasn't for me for many reasons.

So I need advice on how to possibly navigate the "religious" dating marketplace as an open-minded unbeliever, because in my city, secular men want you to f-close within the first 3 dates, I don't drink alcohol, and people would see me as frigid and a jerk.

What are your thoughts on monkmoding as a 40+ female in the hardest dating market in America for women.