What is the best way not to feel negative when you are rejected?

seduction-ModTeam · 2024-04-09T00:54:14+00:00

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SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-04-08T14:28:46+00:00

In my experience the best way to feel more positive is to look back at the interaction and take the data from it and apply it to the next attempt.

This is Kaizen method: continuous positive improvement.

Ask yourself:

Was I attached to the outcome?

Did I raise my vocal pitch, did I increase my tempo and/or volume?

Did I do or say anything that can be perceived as cowardice, frugality, or incompetence?

Did I make any sudden fidgety movements?

Was I internally "giddy" when talking to her?

If you answered yes to any of the above you can now consciously correct it in your next attempt. Just knowing that can make you feel more positive and confident instead of less. Every rejection is a lesson that will lead you to your wife or long term FWB or whatever u seek.

GG_Sebastian · 2024-04-08T14:27:26+00:00

Do not be results focused, be growth focused. Meaning don't let the results or lack of results dictate your mindset, focus on "did I improve or not?" and if not your mentality should "let's continue getting better". Results will eventually be a by-product of your growth anyways.
Find an "interrupter" the moment you start having a negative downwards spiral. For me personally, as soon as negatives thoughts come in mind I would immediately approach another girl because I would then shift my focus from the negative thoughts to the girl instead. The best way I can explain it is if you had a horrible day at work and your car broke down on the side of the road then someone randomly runs up on you and pulls out a knife on you. Are you gonna focus on the fact that your car broke down or that someone is about to physically harm you?
Understanding that what you're feeling and going through is normal. The sooner and more often you go through this mindset then eventually you become desensitized to it. If you approached 1,000 girl are you going to remember rejection number 238?
The moment the girl rejects you, she's gonna forget about you in less minutes. So why let a girl that would forget about you in 5 minutes, affect your mindset for the next 5 hours?

Miguell7 · 2024-04-08T15:25:19+00:00

By treating it all as one BIG JOKE.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-04-08T15:27:13+00:00

As the Buddha said, desire is the cause of all suffering. Here is where guys and especially wannabe puas get this all wrong. The scenario is usually something like this:

You see an attractive woman and almost immediately you qualify her as someone you want to fuck based on nothing else but her looks. So when you approach, you approach wanting to get something from her, whether that's approval, validation, phone number, sex! When we want something from others, we fall into the role of chasers/pursuers and it becomes our goal to convince them to give us what we want to get.

This scenario can play out with a guy who wakes up and decides he's horny, he needs sex, he needs a woman, so he goes out and starts approaching women prequalifying them and trying to extract the thing he wants/needs.

The problem with all of this is that you automatically put yourself in the chaser role, which is always the weaker role. You give up your power hoping you will get something from the woman. Women can sense that very well because although it's an ego boost to be chased by men, it's also a total turn off for them. That's why women often complain that men only want them for sex. It's not that there is anything wrong for wanting sex with a woman, but men go up to women having already decided they want her for sex. So it's not about her specifically that makes her special. It also makes women wonder "why does he want to fuck me and he doesn't even know me? Is he that desperate?"

Because you approach women wanting something, when you don't get it, you get upset. It also causes approach anxiety. Not that it's difficult to speak to a woman, but you are thinking that you want to make a good impression, you want her to like you, etc, and then you are scared you may not get what you wanted.

So, what is the solution here? Do you cut off your balls and lose interest in sex and women? Do you act like a gay friend? Do you not talk to women at all? No, not at all! You need to withhold your decision on whether the woman you want to talk to is someone you want to sleep with or spend more time with. You don't know them. You don't know what they are about, if she's a bitch, a thief, a murderer. She may be the worst human being on earth, so why make a decision you want to fuck her just because she has a nice set of tits? You don't buy a house sight unseen, you don't buy a car sight unseen without text driving it. But you are willing to stick the most important thing you own into a total stranger without any vetting.

All you need to do is adjust your frame from "I need to get this woman interested and I need to extract sex from her" to "She is attractive because I feel attracted to her. I wonder what she is about and if she is cool and charming, so I will go get to know her better so I can make a decision if I want to pursue further". If you make a decision about the outcome you want before you have even spoken to a woman, you are just shooting yourself in the dick.

HCHDGSH · 2024-04-08T16:15:35+00:00

Just like if you throw dice enough times you'll only throw a 3 about 1 in 6 times, when approaching women, only a minority are going to be down with you and what you want to do with her. You already know this in theory. It's supposed to be that way. In practice, that'll look like some women being down with you and the majority being uninterested for some reason or another.

Why would you feel bad (about yourself) when you throw a 4 with dice instead of a 3, when a woman isn't interested, when it rains today, or anything else that is supposed to happen?

"but dice are random, when a woman rejects me isn't that a sign I'm undesirable? Maybe if I did the approach differently / if my bitch ass looked more like my jawline idol she would have said yes" What difference does it make if your mindset is right? 1. Approach girls to screen for compatibility, not validation. 2. Have you ever had a girl who was attracted to and interested in you? Yes? Well newsflash, that means there are more of them, you just have to find them. Why let some girls who are not interested in you anyway get in the way of meeting the ones you're supposed to connect with?

Also most girls are pretty reasonable/indifferent when rejecting you, which just frees you up to approach the next one and not waste any more of your time, which is a good thing. And the few that get mad have bigger issues, that's not my problem. I hope she sorts out her mental issues but that has nothing to do with me.

So I don't go in hoping for a yes, I just want a response to my approach. And even if she turns around and ignores me, that's a response too. But whatever the response was, is what it was supposed to be. So why would I think less of myself for that?

ClitPlayaBootySlappa · 2024-04-08T17:25:06+00:00

Get rejected as quickly as possible.

When you invest hours, days, weeks, investing your emotions on one girl, thats when rejection sucks.

But if its your first interaction with her, and you were to go up to her and within 10 seconds, you tell her you want to have sex with her or you want her to be your wife/girlfriend.

When she says no or ignores you, you're gonna forget about her so fast. You won't even remember what she looks like within a few hours.

caesarfecit · 2024-04-08T15:52:18+00:00

The rejections which stung the most to me, were also the ones that turned out to be dodged bullets.

One was too hung up on an ex to know which way was up and I would have been walking into a triangle of doom.

One was a fucking basketcase thot. She was hot, but her personality turned me off to the point where I walked away twice.

One would probably would have turned into an abusive relationship if it had happened.

And as is always the sitch, the warning signs were there, but the full scope of them only became clear long after the fact.

Most importantly, the way to healthily internalize rejection is to realize that those girls weren't for you, even if your game was on point.

Another important thing to remember that an outright rejection is better than getting strung along, getting friend zoned, getting the slow fade, or any of another passive-aggressive outcomes. Getting shot down means you shot your shot and you can know for a fact that there's nothing more you could have done.

pozitron · 2024-04-08T17:55:20+00:00

By having multiple options. If you need a job and get rejected it may seem like the end of the world. If you already have multiple job offers then it doesn't matter if one rejects you.

This is why people monkey branch. They can test out the waters without feeling like the rejection is going to be the end of the world.

ProFriendZoner · 2024-04-08T19:56:36+00:00

Keep an eye on them and in 3 to 6 months you'll usually realize that you dodged a bullet.

Sil80s · 2024-04-08T19:58:07+00:00

The best way for ME is just telling myself "Its just how the game goes." And its true like its really just how the game goes you either ask and get a good response or a bad one if you get the bad one time to hit the road and wait your turn for someone else you're interested in.

ROBYoutube · 2024-04-08T20:29:35+00:00

You learn to read social situations and shoot your shot when it is appropriate and with no weird or outsized feelings on the line. If you feel bad after a rejection, it's because there's far, far, far too much on the line for you.

conor1927 · 2024-04-08T21:05:35+00:00

Figure out what you messed up on. If you figure that out and genuinely learn how to not do it again then it’s an undeniable positive experience. Like by technicality it’s positive. Just remember that and you’ll grow each time

ImpressiveGrocery959 · 2024-04-08T21:20:07+00:00

Their loss bro

Title	What is the best way not to feel negative when you are rejected?
Author	sorriso_ten
Upvotes	18
Comments	18
Date	April 8, 2024 2:17 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1byz0ov/what_is_the_best_way_not_to_feel_negative_when/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-is-the-best-way-not-to-feel-negative-when-you.1514440 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514440

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