I have been divorced for just over 26 years and I am now 61. There is one thing that I have learned over the years, no matter what the circumstances. Be VERY careful with your tongue. I am no hypocrite. I got it all wrong when I was younger. Emotions and hurt are the biggest enemies and 26 years back, I'd probably behave in the same way I did back then. But using "YOU", rather than, "how it makes me feel", opens ears. Shouting and swearing never does, nor does cursing or threats.. even if is your first impulse. The only reason we behave this way is because we are hurting.

If you are in Dire Straits and your ex wants to argue, if you are tempted to, just don't. Tell them that "I will only talk to you when you have calmed down and treat me with respect", and hang up. (Don't use any foul language).

Don't call them back. If you get a call and they are civil, LISTEN, and talk only when they pose a question. It takes control, but it is worth the endurance in the end. I lost 26 years of my life playing the victim...And I was verbally abused by my ex daily. Don't think "but she.."

Just my $1 worth