yesterday I went to my eldest son's counselor with my stbxw....

My son had brought up some concerns to me about more flexibility in the schedule.

It seems that he has wanted to spend more time at my house.

obviously, she is offended.... It went about as well as you would expect....

But something really shocking happened.... I found myself reeling from just how self-centered she was during the whole thing... not the fact that she's self-centered but the fact that she allowed it to be so openly displayed.

she tried to obfuscate it to some degree but obviously a counselor is going to see the reality of someone's behavior.

I was there because I'm trying to get some more flexibility for my son.

she was there for herself and herself only.

It was a constant stream of things like "It's not fair" and dredging up the past and making me out to be the bad guy...

The sheer lack of any responsibility on her part for anything should not shock me but I think it was more the fact that.... since the separation and since God has done a work in me.... I have progressed in a lot of ways.

but.... not only is she the exact same as when she left..... But it seems like she's doubling down on everything.

there's been no progress on her side whatsoever.

I'm starting to understand why God has told me that the relationship is over.

All I did at the beginning was beg him for reconciliation and he kept saying no.

But the uncomfortable nature of that meeting was a major reminder of why I cannot be with this woman as she is now.

If she would turn to God and allow him to heal her it would be different. But I just don't ever see that happening.

what I know is what has been said on here several times..... It is not my job to fix her. It never was.