If you are smart enough to realize that you are nothing more than a line item in the P&L sheet, you deserve to read this post.

This article is not meant to make you a cynical loser. The goal is to make you take advantage of your environment to help you climb the corporate ladder almost effortlessly, maximizing your income and minimizing your efforts.

Unlike Andrew Tate fanboys, you must be smart enough to understand that the safety net a solid corporate job offers and the connections of high performers is invaluable. Ignore them anyway since they'll all end up flipping burgers since they don't have any other skills other than meat riding their master.

One or two big logos on your resumes and a few recommendations means that you will never be hungry or homeless in your life, ever.

This article explores the aspects of surviving and climbing the corporate ladder that are unrelated to your actual competence. It delves into navigating office politics and ensuring that, in addition to being competent, you are perceived as competent. Ultimately, it is important to appear proficient at your job than to genuinely excel at it.

You must always project the image of a loyal employee, unwavering in your commitment to the corporation that employs you.

While it's crucial to understand that there is no loyalty in the corporate world internally, externally you must appear as an employee whose loyalty is unquestionable.

There are certain truths that you must realize and internalize if you want to survive and thrive in the corporate world.

THERE ARE NO FRIENDS IN THE OFFICE.

You are in direct competition with your peers who hold the same rank as you.

You are aiming for the same promotion opportunities and aiming to secure your position during layoffs. Daily, your superiors evaluate your performance in comparison to colleagues of your rank.

It's objectively beneficial for you if your co-workers fail, as this increases your chances of being promoted over them and reduces your risk of being laid off. The corporate world can indeed be this cutthroat.

Building on the previous point, it's important to keep colleagues at a distance. You may be shocked at how quickly they might betray you for a raise or promotion. This is the harsh reality of working with ambitious professionals; it's not personal, just business. Be mindful of who you associate with and what you share.

In private conversations with politically astute colleagues, subtly agree with their dislikes in a non-confrontational way. Aligning with their views and making light jabs can build rapport, as shared dislikes often bond people. However, avoid going too far.

When talking with politically cautious individuals, mention that you've never disliked anyone and recognize that everyone has strengths. Stay upbeat and positive around poor performers. With high performers, you can be more flexible, listening to and agreeing with their viewpoints.

On a side note, you never, ever engage in gossip or reveal anything about your personal life. This concept is challenging to implement. Why? Acting like a robot will hinder your corporate progress, as it undermines trust. Conversely, being too transparent can also limit your career.

The key is finding a balance. Mastering how and what to share about your private life is essential. In the corporate world, remember that anything you disclose can be used against you.

Strategic revealing can be extremely important to build connections, though.

IMPRESS YOUR SUPERIORS

You might be surprised at how many seasoned professionals are eager to share their strategies for maximizing output with minimal effort. Having a mentor with extensive corporate experience to provide guidance and tips can set you apart from the crowd.

Show them that you are an honest, hardworking young individual by asking intelligent questions, and you will find many doors opening for you.

For your critical superiors you should give A+ work as fast as possible, whereas for everyone else you should give A- work with some delays.

Don’t slack too much when doing work for people who aren’t your critical superiors; if you give them B- work, it could easily come back to haunt you.

Ideally, you should charm everyone in the office by appearing enthusiastic or neutral, never unhappy or angry. Unfortunately, it's impossible to always be happy.

Don't go around swinging your dick thinking you're an "Alpha" if you disagree with your superiors. Think strategically. You want your superiors to take you along with them wherever they go.

If your boss is a killer shark, you'd be a fool to be go against him.

There are instances of top performing MDs taking employees they like when they switch firms. With a heavy pay raise + lower work hours.

It's bad, but acceptable, to appear unhappy around other colleagues. However, appearing unhappy in front of your key superiors is disastrous for your career.

Your critical superiors' opinion of you will determine your career success. If they see you as competent and likable, you're likely to be promoted. If they see you as incompetent or unlikeable, you're likely to be fired or overlooked for promotions.

When a superior critcizes you for a mistake, regardless of whether or not the mistake was actually a mistake or was your fault, you must appear to be receptive to their rebuke, and apologetic. Calmly say “I apologize; this won’t happen again.”. Never, ever argue. Take responsibility for what has happened and fix it.

Try and find common things to agree upon with your key superiors. Hobbies, political views, taste in books, etc. If you don't have any, study about them, stalk them on social media or whatever, find out their interests and learn about them. Talk to them about it the next time you meet. It will do more for your career than anything else would.

A high performer that has moved to a better bank who likes the same football team as you do? You better have him on your close contact list. He probably prefers having you around too.

A senior MD who plays tennis, just like you do? Same.

SMILE, NOD AND AGREE.

This point goes in line with the previous point. You should validate your superiors as much as possible.

If your MD says he could've become an international footballer, you smile, nod and agree.

If your female MD thinks she looks very hot for her age, you smile, nod and agree.

Disagreeing with your superiors or correcting them make you look like a certified idiot and it is likely to make them hate you.

Instead, agree with what they say and make them feel validated. You will be their favorite. Basically, lick their ass so much that they don't feel the need to use toilet papers.

GENERAL DEMEANOUR.

In front of your superiors, always look calm and sure of yourself.

If you seem arrogant, they won’t like you. If you seem scared, they’ll think you’re weak and not good enough for a promotion or important tasks.

Show confidence without being vain or rude.

People often think that being confident means being good at your job. If you look confident, they’ll think you’re capable. If you look nervous, they’ll think you’re not.

This is a mistake since confidence doesn’t always mean competence. But you should use this misunderstanding to your benefit.

Act as if you are humble. When you achieve visible success in a task or project, credit the achievement to the advice and guidance of one of your superiors, ideally a key superior. This is a great way to charm them and boost your chances for promotion.

Be subtle, though; if you give credit too blatantly or too often, they might see through the tactic and distrust you.

Whether or not their advice actually helped is irrelevant; what matters is boosting their ego.

Whenever a superior gives advice, appear receptive, even if you know it’s not helpful. It’s crucial to stroke their ego and avoid offending them.

Remember, in the corporate world, it is all about appearances. Whether you like it or not, if you want to make bank in the corporate world, you will have to be politically smart.

This is especially true if you are aiming to become a C-Level exec or a partner in a big 4 firm or an MD in an IB/PE firm.

HANDLING TOXIC COWORKERS

Your downfall will always come from your coworkers and not your superiors. Understand this very well. Your coworkers are in competition with you but your boss is not.

If you can provoke a coworker into an angry outburst, it will make them look bad in front of your superiors, who will see them as immature or volatile. This can significantly hinder their chances of promotion, giving you an edge. To provoke anger subtly, it must appear to others that your coworker’s reaction is unjustified. If their anger seems justified, it will reflect poorly on you instead.

Even indirect methods like neglect and one-upmanship can be traced back to you and should be used sparingly, if at all. Many in the corporate world try to undermine coworkers by speaking negatively about them to superiors. While this can damage a coworker’s reputation, it is risky because most superiors are smart enough to recognize such tactics.

Using this method can harm your coworker slightly but will greatly damage your own reputation.

Be nice to subordinates, including back office staff and secretaries, as you never know when you might need their help.

While some degree of firmness may be necessary to ensure compliance, use intimidation sparingly.

Being excessively tyrannical will cause your subordinates to resent you and become uncooperative over time, even those who are naturally patient and kind.

BUILD YOUR NETWORK OUTSIDE YOUR FIRM.

You ideally want to develop a massive network of people in your industry and in industries to which you can jump to quickly.

For example? If you are in consulting, you'd want to be in touch with people in FAANG companies and private equity companies since FAANG companies hires managers and sometimes, even senior leaders from consulting backgrounds and private equity does the same.

Just building your skills and not being a socially awkward idiot puts you above 90% of the human population. Add to that being a charming and handsome man and you are in the top 3% probably. Add to this combination some cunning and you will end up extremely successful in your career.

Conclusion?

If you do all this, the chances of you succeeding in the corporate world are high. However, do not forget that you have to have businesses and investments on the side to actually "make it".

A corporate job could make you "Well-off". But you can never go on a motorcycle ride on a random Tuesday afternoon just because you wanted to.

Disclaimer: The opinions shared here are not intended as legal, financial, health, or dating advice. Content is for informational purposes only. Consult relevant professionals for personalized guidance. We bear no responsibility for actions taken based on this information.