Rebounds

celticmoose · 2024-07-20T00:06:18+00:00

I was the rebound. We had known each other for a few years and found out soon after her now first divorce she had feelings for me. I had been in love with her for 2 years so this was music to my ears. We waited 3 months to date, I thought we gave it time to see if it was a rebound. Took our time, engaged after a year and married 1.5 years after our first date.

12 years later and she’s realizing she never healed and was a mess and I was what she thought she wanted at the time because I was the opposite of her first husband.

Hurt people hurt people, a lesson I won’t soon forget.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-07-19T22:29:59+00:00

I'm glad my Rebound wasn't interested in anything serious, I probably coulda got into trouble.

As is, she was 9 years younger than me (26 to my then 35) and she was my best friends little brother's fiancé's best friend. She was at that age all her friends were meeting 'great guys' and getting engaged and married, and she kept whining to her friend how much she wanted to meet a great to marry too.

Well, enter me, fresh on the market, and my friend's fiancé thought I was a great guy from all our time together, and jumped at the opportunity to set us up. It went well, was a lot of fun, and had good times, but despite her saying how much she wanted to get a husband, she was in no way wanting to settle down, and I eventually called it off after a few months when she was going out to Rave festival weekend, as I didn't just want some 'friends with benefits' situation. (I'd learn over a year later she did infact have lots of sex that weekend, as I knew).

Which is for the best, if she was pushing me to 'get serious' I probably would have, as having a young woman fuck your brains out and treat you great definitely does things to your decision making skills. We still hang out every other month or so, but I'm confidant I made the right choice. Two weeks later at said friends wedding, she would hook up with the husband's best friend, despite his wife telling her he was just a fuck boy. And well, after two months of dating she had to call things off with him because he wouldn't stop sleeping with other women.

She went on a tinder tour after that, and these days 'dates' an unemployed man 5 years older than her who lives with his parents while still trying to go out on dates to find a husband, so I think I dodged bullet.

ADivorcedGuy · 2024-07-19T20:10:49+00:00

Based on my own experience, and the circle of guys I have known / coached over the years, a rebound right after divorce rarely works out and often brings a host of other issues.

IMO. We are better off working on ourselves post divorce and figuring out what we want out of life and what we don't, before we start dating. This makes it much easier NOT to fall into a relationship like the one we just left and start that cycle all over again.

My $.02

NorthBoy_9012 · 2024-07-19T20:06:47+00:00

You have to make the best long-term decision for both parties - in this case, you ended it. As long as you were a Gentleman for 2 weeks, 2 years, whatever timetable, doesn’t matter. By keeping someone on the hook, if you know you should go - you’re wasting their time, and that’s worse.

Exactly65536 · 2024-07-19T09:21:39+00:00

After I divorced, I dated a girl 11 years younger (I was 30); it was very clear to me in about 3 weeks that it's going nowhere. I told her that we will not end up in anything serious, but if she is willing to hang around and have some fun, so am I - for the time being.

Then I met a girl whom I was more interested in (whom I then married and with whom I'll probably divorce :) ) and had to drop the rebound one. I think it was somewhat painful for her, but I had given her a fair warning so my conscience was relatively clear.

usedbc · 2024-07-19T08:04:16+00:00

Nearly two months in and I've been on a few dates. While I know there is a part of me that needs to heal, the intimacy and sex that I haven't had for so long has been comforting. Knowing that it wasn't me that was the problem with sex and intimacy has helped. Being told that I was attractive was a huge kick to the guts, but realising it was her has helped my confidence.

Archepod · 2024-07-19T05:48:45+00:00

Hah. My rebound ended up becoming my next wife.

She left me 6 months ago. I don't think I'm gonna do a rebound this time

Title	Rebounds
Author	tyyyy110
Upvotes	6
Comments	14
Date	July 19, 2024 4:00 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1e6unc2/rebounds/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/rebounds.1524648 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524648

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