I don't think I want to be someone's girlfriend forever.

WornBlueCarpet · 2024-08-05T17:09:53+00:00

It's interesting how marriage is so important to them. They gladly throw off the yoke of tradition when it comes to sex and relationships - especially casual relationship while they are young - but for some reason, the tradition of marriage is still of utmost importance to them.

It's almost as if marriage is greatly beneficial to them...

RedMeatTrinket · 2024-08-05T16:39:34+00:00

Looks like there is a lot of bashing the man for stating his boundaries and "wasting her time". She should have established up front that she was only dating to get married. Then they would never have matched on the dating app and her time would not be wasted.

gntlbastard · 2024-08-05T16:31:54+00:00

Smart man. I suspect that he has been through the divorce ringer once and had enough. Good for him. Never cohabitate or marry.

AtkinsCatkins · 2024-08-05T19:05:23+00:00

This is the start of the avalanche, More and more men are realising the shitty deal that marriage is.

I feel exactly the same as this guy, will never marry (i dont want kids) and dont even want to live with a partner anymore.

The thing i have learned is that as time goes on, as a guy we can get purpose and pleasure by getting lost in a world of our own making by pursuing hobbies or work or some great challenge or pursuit.

I dont think the same is true of women, women who are on their own seem to take it very badly. I rarely ever see a happily single woman (in older age) nor a happily married man, I think generally men are happier single, and women happier in a relationship.

when you consider how much more toxic, entitled, unreasonable and disrespectful modern women are compared to their ancestors, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to see women have big issues coming in their future.

Nobody owes you a relationship man or woman, and likewise with marriage. to behave as if they do, is to set yourself up for failure and misery.

InevitableOwl1 · 2024-08-05T17:41:07+00:00

I am subbed to the sub this post comes from on my other Reddit account and so saw this one a few days ago. Similar with another post recently

What really got me is that the replies all go in full blast on the guy blaming him. There is no mention anywhere whether or not she asked him his marriage intentions up front. My guess is she didn’t and just made the assumption. Or maybe that she asked and he gave a non-committal answer. But no where is it stated that he ever promised her they would eventually get married / that he even wanted that and that he strung her along. But everyone just assumed that

This really does seem to almost be the female equivalent of a woman stringing a guy along in the friend zone and never getting physical. You can’t put niceness coins in and get sex out. Well similarly you can’t put sex coins in and get a marriage out. You can’t even always get a relationship out - but she did have that. She seems to have blown off something over a title and a legal contract and it seems a bit much. Although maybe the “you’ll never be a step mom” is a bit harsh (albeit probably not actually stated exactly like that)

jamaicanroach · 2024-08-05T18:39:20+00:00

The guy has three kids and is single, he's definitely seen some shit. I'm pretty sure he knows all about cohabitation, common law marriage, etc. The guy seems to want to make sure he isn't going to make that mistake again. "You're never going to be a step mom" seems kind of harsh on first glance, and while I'm not usually a betting man, I'm willing to bet that she talked about being a mom to his kids far more than he was comfortable with.

She's not interested in being a wife, She's interested in attaining a retirement plan, one where she'll take half his stuff and destroy his life when she no longer "feels the butterflies" or whatever. Dude dodged a bullet (unless he's still dating her, in which case I'm questioning why he's still with her when he knows she wants marriage).

lurkerhasarisen · 2024-08-05T18:49:33+00:00

The guy did her a solid and she’s salty about it. In the current year there is no expectation that a person in the dating market is in the marriage market.

If we lived in a sane world none of this guessing would be required, but since we don’t, it’s incumbent on everyone to be honest from the get-go. Both of them should have put their intentions on the table, and this whole drama could have been avoided. Having said that; since she’s the one making the bigger “ask,” she bears the greater responsibility to screen for marriage-minded men right off the bat.

Instead of using her words like an adult, she squandered four months she can ill-afford to waste screwing some guy in the hopes of him wifing her up. But men are not vending machines that women can pop sex tokens into until a committed relationship falls out.

Very few things just “fall out of the sky,” so it’s a virtual certainty that he saw her expectations moving towards marriage. Since he doesn’t want to marry again, and he’s not looking for a stepmother for his kids, he made it clear to her what was on offer and what wasn’t so she could decide accordingly. Surely that’s preferable to stringing her along in the “f-k zone” without making his boundaries clear.

In other words: he treated her like an adult with agency.

Profitglutton · 2024-08-05T23:00:10+00:00

“Dated 4 months, he decided he never wanted to give me the right to divorce rape him”.

CautiousOp · 2024-08-05T18:27:33+00:00

In a lot of ways - good for the guy. As someone very familiar with divorce and OK dying with peace and quiet (and/or alone), good on him for not bringing in new future spouse after 4 months.

InevitableOwl1 · 2024-08-05T19:00:58+00:00

A couple of things I missed :

“Needy cats” that demand all her attention? She seems to be doing cats wrong

I missed the reply where she said he never wants to live with her. Now that I can sort of get on board with her annoyance over. Because assuming he indicated wanting a long term relationship it is reasonable to assume wanting to live together but also reasonable to assume marriage wouldn’t be necessary

I expect he wants to avoid the “common law” issue. But that is extremely unlikely to be on women’s minds

Dream_Machine_37 · 2024-08-07T13:17:25+00:00

Whats the point of marriage if you are in your 40s and 50s and not going to be having kids?

There is ZERO benefit in that case to the male.

Life_Strain_6948 · 2024-08-06T03:49:36+00:00

Shit like this is why I never want to be anyone's boyfriend ever again.

Psychedelicblues1 · 2024-08-05T19:39:27+00:00

Tbh I hope this happens to an ex friend of mine

ItalianJew_Stallion · 2024-08-07T17:52:11+00:00

If you’re a single mom then that’s probably all a woman will be

Cristoff13 · 2024-08-08T03:36:03+00:00

I think the appeal of marriage to women is in both the public wedding ceremony and the signing of the legal contract. Either, by themselves, isn't that appealing.

Just a commitment ceremony seems pointless. Going to the courthouse and signing the contract seems dull and boring, a last resort if you can't have a public ceremony.

But combine the two, it becomes magical. To many women that is.

Valuable_Following_2 · 2024-08-06T00:11:27+00:00

Lol. She looks like that one tradthot youtuber, Sydney Watson.

Extension-Leek-1523 · 2024-08-21T07:18:17+00:00

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSA9nd4leOZFwXEnGaayK5PT5X4bS3d0fy-Mw&s

Title	I don't think I want to be someone's girlfriend forever.
Author	polishknightusa
Upvotes	100
Comments	67
Date	August 5, 2024 4:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/1ekrw51/i_dont_think_i_want_to_be_someones_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/i-dont-think-i-want-to-be-someones-girlfriend.1526403 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526403

Comments