Gentelmen, a rant and a question if you will.

it has become readily apparent that my STBXW and I have vastly different parenting styles. today is not "my day" with my kids (albeit we all still live and work in the same house while divorce plays out. fucking fun). My oldest is 14, and came to me in hysterical tears because she played games on her computer for 30 minutes more than what her mother had said she could, and her mother (stbxw) responded by grounding her and taking away all devices (computer and tablet), claiming she "lied purposefully" and "lies have consequences."

She then sent the kid to me (again, not my day - tomorrow is though) to "reinforce" her rules and punishment. I tried my best to calm my hysiterical kid down, and tried to calmly understand what had happened between the gasping breaths and tears. I guess, I'm a little more lenient and trusting of my kid, as I would not be so cruel on a very hot summer day, with nothing to do (2 working parents), and seeing as she already spent the morning studying for school (bravo!) . I understand co-parenting is hard. But this is fucking ridiculous.

the most I could get out before the Wicked Witch of the West returned was:

"well, today is you're mother's day, and I understand that you are frustrated and bored. do your best to get along., and tomorrow will be another day (did not say this part: my day where we have fun and do not work like a chain gang)." that's the best I could do on short notice.

Of course, I got the follow-up emails accusing me of manipulation, sabotage, alienating, pitting my daughter against her, and so on. (Gentlemen, I'm playing the long game here, as my STBXW is an absolute authoritarian bitch, and always has been, what she calls "being a good parent"; I don't believe in scaring my children into submission)

by the way, even through all of this very stressful, anxiety causing situation - I never once engaged with, or responded to me stbxw. that is a remarkable achievement for me, whereas in the past this situation would have gone completely sideways and upside down, crashing into the desert in a huge nuclear fireball (not being dramatic)

I'm not sure that I handled this well or correctly. How have you handled co-parenting with an authoritarian dictator who rivals the likes of Stalin?

Edit: just wanted to add: I've never seen my stbxw run so fast like a dog with its tail between its legs when she realized I was recording the entire thing. Good times to be had by all!!