I feel like I am a loser - Have a good foundation but no games

averageguy694200 · 2024-09-04T15:48:58+00:00

Completely quit porn (don’t quit jerking off). I’ve noticed I’m way less needy since I did. You’ll act way less needy when your brain is desexualized and you’re not dying for pussy all the time.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-09-04T14:58:53+00:00

If u have those advantages and you go on that many dates, the issue is the intangibles.

Women like nice guys. They are actually sexually attracted to gentlemen. Most guys do not deliver their words and actions, however, without lust attached and that makes you appear to be not preselected. This is why being a gentleman and being nice or polite gets such a bad rep.

Perhaps having the advantages that you do have makes you expect sex?

The key is to never at any point become more interested in the girl than she is in you. You CAN show interest, just not as much as she is to you. Keeping this mindset will auto correct your behaviors into being less needy.

I guarantee every time a date didn't go your way or you got ghosted, at some point; your interest level exceeded hers making her feel like you can't do better than her and she sees u as beneath her, hence she can't look up to you.

Remember all the times a high interest women suddenly "turned off" to you instantly even though u could have sworn she was really into you? The exact moment that happened is the moment she perceived you as not having options of her caliber or higher and made her feel unsafe.

Try displaying the opposite behavioral traits of what pleases you. The whole game is a magnet. Similar poles repel, opposing poles attract.

yourcousinrafa · 2024-09-04T20:32:14+00:00

100+ dates is great, you just need to figure out why you can't take it further. The word that stands out to me is "needy". Listen, I am sure you are a sweet guy, but being needy is a turn off to both men and women. One would think it's great to have someone who "needs you" right, but it's not. The psychology behind human interactions and relationships is complicated, so I'd suggest you to try to figure out where this need comes from, really sit with it, is it emotional need, go where it takes you and acknowledge it. I am sure there's an app that rate limits your texts but that's temporary solution. And don't be hard on yourself, it doesn't help. It's just a behavior you picked up, it's not your personality. Remember since you picked it up, it means you can drop it too :) All the best.

HomelessMilkman · 2024-09-04T16:02:00+00:00

Relaxation is power, relaxation is self-esteem, relaxation is status, relaxation creates attraction.

When you're 'fumbling', you aren't 'fun' any more. You're tense, you're trying, it's forcing a result.

You tense up involuntarily. The moment you tense up, you feel some insecurity, self-doubt, anxiety, whatever. From that place of tension, you can't win - it's overcompensating, neediness, control, etc. it's all a self-indulgent mission to make yourself feel comfortable. It's an impossible mission of trying to convince the girl you're high status from a position of low status.

It's fluid, things could even be going 'well' but you tense up to 'hold onto it'. You start in high self-esteem, you end up in low self-esteem and she loses interest.

What's 'wrong', is that you're trying to untense by 'getting the girl'. She's irrelavant in this. You're clenching your teeth and somehow trying to get her to unclench them. Instead of trying harder, instead of trying to fight from a place of low self-esteem, you have to reground yourself in high self-esteem by relaxing yourself. Back in high self-esteem, you can have fun, offer value, it's a joke.

Worried-One2399 · 2024-09-05T04:08:27+00:00

Every male is naturally “needy” bcz we don’t have as many options as woman tend to. (Excuse my lack thereof 🤣)

BUT, here’s the deal… u work a good job it sound like u have your life pretty well put together. The only thing ur lacking is the arm candy.

This is what I would do, I would REFRAIN from txting ur potential “LTR” @ ANY moment when u r not

Setting up a meeting/date
Don’t have anything to tell her, and wat I mean by this is if it’s not a “hey I just got charged w/ x crime in a foreign country. I need some help, can u be there?

If it’s not either of those 2 things. Ask yourself, how would I feel if I was her & this guy I went on 1-date w/ (yes we felt vibes) but r they THAT strong yet?

Let me ask u this, wat was the first date like? What did u guys do?

Go out for drinks? Coffee? A walk? A concert? Did u go in for a kiss? These things matter for me to follow up with u & help u out.

I mean shoot I need help myself, but I think getting perspective from a 3rd party helps. So lmk… I’ll be around DM me if u want. But let’s start w/ wat was the first date like? ✌🏼 believe in yourself, bcz no one else believes in u like YOU believe in u. 😜

Dyshox · 2024-09-04T12:07:32+00:00

Others suggested dating 2-3 girls parallel, you can do that but it might make you bitter. That happened to me at least. Women became disposable and I couldn’t get attached to anyone with that behavior. I can imagine a lot of guys have this issue with their abundance game thingy.

The point of that is - you need to distract yourself from the urge of texting her. I wouldn’t suggest dating several girls at the same time, as it’s mostly a huge investment, time consuming and as I said might make you bitter, turn you into a misogynist.

E.g. every time you have the urge to text her, remind yourself to do something else instead. Sports, gaming, career, walking, socializing with others (this is the best).

rzerx · 2024-09-07T02:48:39+00:00

Given your elite upbringing you're highway not street. You're textbook not cliff notes. You got to get "dirty" by thinking "street." Not saying you have to be a street thug or criminal. What I'm saying is, if you want to get good with girls you got to be a bit edgey, more mysterious, less direct, less goody two shoes.

Hope this helps

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-09-04T11:46:30+00:00

Abundance game: Have multiple options (women) at once. If there’s at least 2-3 women a week or a month they will divide your time and attention.

And I’m not talking about 2-3 women to approach, but 2-3 women that are already in the dating phase. If you haven’t had any, then you gotta approach at least 10-15 a week.

ak4790 · 2024-09-08T09:01:54+00:00

This is actually a very hard problem to solve, since it's ingrained in Asian culture and men to be very nice, caring, and needy towards people they like. So you almost have to do the opposite of what you "feel" is the right thing to do. Therefore, when u feel the urge to text her, or share more about yourself - you have to hold yourself back. Hope this helps.

No-Corner3202 · 2024-09-04T14:06:06+00:00

What is your goal, to find a girlfriend?

ExtensionSmile629 · 2024-09-04T14:17:37+00:00

Are you meeting all the girls online?

Title	I feel like I am a loser - Have a good foundation but no games
Author	EnvironmentalLeg3746
Upvotes	11
Comments	33
Date	September 4, 2024 11:35 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1f8qyzc/i_feel_like_i_am_a_loser_have_a_good_foundation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-feel-like-i-am-a-loser-have-a-good-foundation.1529357 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529357

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