Advice: how can I become his ideal woman and save our relationship?

sapphiredawn · 2024-09-06T20:55:29+00:00

There’s an article in the sidebar about spitting up the blue pill that really helped me with learning more on how much inner work has to be done - almost perpetually - just to peel back the layers of feminism and societal conditioning. I’ll find it and go link it here.

ETA: the whole section on unlearning feminist indoctrination, submission, and understanding men. Will change your life.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/qjJj5yVndB

AverageFuckingValue · 2024-09-06T20:09:05+00:00

So he started watching red pill videos and decides he wants to change the dynamic?

TheFeminineFrame · 2024-09-06T20:43:55+00:00

Ok, so I see a few different things going on here.

He is comparing you to “modern day women” after getting into red pill content. This is what we call Pandora’s Box, where his worldview is changing dramatically in a short period of time and he dumps all his anger onto his wife. This isn’t a fair reaction but it’s a very common one.

Some men get stuck in this anger phase but for many, it is just that — a phase. I would try to get very clear, actionable items that he would like to see improvement on so that he feels like he is being heard. You do have a workload of your own so this might need to be negotiated or pick one or two items to work on as a priority.

The second thing I see going on is that you admit that you are slacking on household duties. He is homeschooling and doing most of the housework. Is he currently working from home as well or was that just at the beginning of your arrangement? This man might legitimately need you to step it up. That might look like taking over bedtime and doing a few simple chores during the week but spending a good chunk of time helping in the weekend. Or something else. But work with home to come up with a plan.

A third thing that I see happening is your dynamic is flipped on its head from the average rp relationship. You work all day and then are too tired to chip in. He is the househusband whose wife isn’t pitching in enough.

I would look do some research on masculine and feminine polarity together. Establish things you do that make you feel like a woman and him feel like the man. Example — He opens doors for you and pulls out your chair. You wear things that make you feel feminine and take over cooking on the weekends.

I also recommend researching more on submissiveness and practicing letting him take the lead. This is going to take practice from both of you. It sounds like he is very new to red pill and still will have lots of learning to do in this area.

I also wonder if he is satisfied with the current arrangement. Many red pill men pride themselves on being a provider and leader. Some of his anger may be a projection of his own perceived failures. Of course, I can’t be certain of that but it could be worth looking into.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-09-06T22:00:49+00:00

He has asked for help over and over again, and when I do he isn't satisfied with how I do it, so I give up.

Wow. Usually that’s the other way around. So he’s the girl in the relationship. Here’s what men do when women pull that crap with them about not doing it right.”:

“You can ask me to do it, or you can tell me how to do it, you can’t do both.” /heh

Independent-Story883 · 2024-09-06T21:34:46+00:00

People who issue ultimatums usually do it with one foot already out the door. However

Start slow:

Splurge for one day without child rearing/homeschooling a week - join a homeschooling support group. Maybe exchange a day in return for you watching their kids to stay on budget.

Every day while at work text him cute, suggestive messages. Pics of you. Things you want done. Things he may want done. Tell him you have to start working late. Take a 1 hr nap at the office before coming home. When you arrive, be fresh and ready to go. Ask him did he get the texts you sent and what did he like best. Go harder on what he liked.

Take the time to be grateful. Tell him how much you appreciate what he does. Be sincere! Be specific! Tell him what he does at home kind of makes you horny. Laugh with him as he tries come up with new ways for you to get horny.

Take steps to invest in his dreams. The dreams you may have thought silly. Too young. Too reckless. Show him you priced the tickets to the concert, you called to see how much the down payment on the Harley was, with a little extra work the new fishing reel can be under the Christmas tree.

Take a trip to a local hotel. Have the family watch the kids. Hire a babysitter. Turn off the phones. Open a bottle of champagne. Ask what is truly behind the ultimatum. Give him an ultimatum. Tell him you are doing your very best. If he can not see after a month, that then maybe things will not work out. Be open to any advice he says.

Meet back next month at the same hotel for a status update.

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-09-08T13:22:56+00:00

I won't claim you're innocent in all this, but it sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. If he's a stay-at-home dad and you're the breadwinner, he's certainly not "doing everything." He hasn't married you, but wants you to act the wife and mother, while he constantly threatens to leave. You might be part of the problem, but so is he.

I need a lot of help. I do care about him, and want to show him I can be a high value woman. Or is it too late?

It sounds like you both need a lot of help. I'd suggest you start by helping around the house, but also by standing up for yourself. Threatening to leave the mother of your child if she doesn't live up to your standards is weak and pathetic behavior.

TheBunk_TB · 2024-09-06T21:02:17+00:00

Your second to last paragraph: Are you acting instead of being? Checked out?

inhaledpie4 · 2024-09-06T20:37:03+00:00

You could try Laura Doyle's Empowered Wife book and podcasts

AutoModerator · 2024-09-06T19:57:53+00:00

Title: Advice: how can I become his ideal woman and save our relationship?

Author Winter_Roof_2006

Full text: I'm here because my boyfriend has been really into red pill videos recently, and it's given him the confidence to be more vocal about what he will and will not tolerate anymore. So much so, he has said he is going to break up with me for good if I mess up this last chance.

I was raised by helicopter parents who did pretty much everything for me. I have been out of their home for a very long time, but the house never left me. Most of the household and child rearing/homeschooling have fallen on him. It was the arrangement we agreed upon when I went back to work, but I don't really share the responsibility. Im depleted after work. Excuses, i know. He has asked for help over and over again, and when I do he isn't satisfied with how I do it, so I give up. Rinse and repeat.

Also romantically I have stalled quite a bit, and have lost interest in physical intimacy. But when I do try to be more of what he wants romantically, he is like "it's too little to late," and "it feels weird." I have a tendency for interrupting when he's talking or i just shut down. My attitude he is always comparing to the modern day woman in the red pill videos.

I need a lot of help. I do care about him, and want to show him I can be a high value woman. Or is it too late?

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Ok_Classic2152 · 2024-09-07T02:05:19+00:00

Dump him. You’ll find someone who appreciates what you do

Title	Advice: how can I become his ideal woman and save our relationship?
Author	Winter_Roof_2006
Upvotes	3
Comments	31
Date	September 6, 2024 7:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1faoemj/advice_how_can_i_become_his_ideal_woman_and_save/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/advice-how-can-i-become-his-ideal-woman-and-save.1529636 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529636

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