I am and have a ton of sensitive friends and I appreciate all my sensitive dudes out here. I know some folks might not like it, I’m enjoying the softening.

krackedy · 2024-09-12T14:39:28+00:00

I'm another emotional guy who doesn't mind a trauma dump session.

I lost my best friend to suicide. He never felt he could talk about his problems. I vowed to be more emotionally open with my friends since then.

hendrixski · 2024-09-12T15:37:28+00:00

some segment of this sub is going to be kinda classical legitimate toxic masculinity.

Why would you assume that?

Also, can we stop using a term that means "men are toxic" to like 90+% of people? Please use "internalized misandry" when talking about the stereotypes of how men should be that we take into ourselves (often due to societal pressure) and that is harmful to our mental health.

I'm a very large very very fit 6'4 35 year old man. I like communicating my feelings and being heard

Welcome!

I'm a very skinny 6'3" 41M who loves to run. I'm 100% the opposite of what people think athletic men should be: Thin arms, thin torso, but I have great legs. And I too have a group of guy friends (mostly my fraternity alumni) and we talk about our feelings all the time. We get each other. You and I are not the only ones on this sub who are like this. I hope you feel right at home here.

Cgravener1776 · 2024-09-12T16:47:57+00:00

Why does it have to be one side of the fence or the other? Be soft when you want and be hard when you need to. Best way to put it "Be kind, be respectful, but always have a plan to drop everybody in the room." Just be the person you are if somebody doesn't like that then fuck 'em. Just don't be soft in a bad situation, cause sometimes you do need to harden up at least a little.

Vegetable_Ad1732 · 2024-09-12T17:59:32+00:00

<<<<Cries at movies. 😎

JDMWeeb · 2024-09-12T19:04:30+00:00

I'm suffering from lifelong abuse and neglect from a lot of people including my parents which has turned me into someone who isn't "masculine" at all.

I was laughed and patronized for opening up, called names and just told to "suck it up" which caused me to never open up to anyone including my friends. Luckily therapy has allowed me to open up more than I could ever, but I still have a long ways to go

mrmensplights · 2024-09-12T22:59:00+00:00

There is no softening. Men were always sensitive and emotional. All men have always just want to love and be loved.

Society hasn't changed either. Men are still punished for showing emotion. Women still despise and leave partners who show weakness.

Even men opening up online isn't a new thing. Men always talked to other men. Its just that society has systematically destroyed all male spaces.

g1455ofwater · 2024-09-12T18:20:23+00:00

This sub sure gets a lot of these kinds of trolls.

Playful-Connection12 · 2024-09-12T18:24:45+00:00

We have to break that stigma. Being able to express discontent with things in society does not mean you’re being sensitive in my opinion. It’s important to speak on the issues that we as men face and we shouldn’t be called sensitive for doing so

TenuousOgre · 2024-09-12T18:47:40+00:00

I'm 58, brought up by Silent Gen folks. On the outside I look very conservative and generally stoic. But to my wife of 36 years and my fiends and kids, and close family I share emotion. My father did the same. We can break the cycle by helping our boys by showing it work.

Emrys_Merlin · 2024-09-12T15:51:37+00:00

Question:

Who's Ryan and why should I hire him?

Omecore65 · 2024-09-12T19:34:24+00:00

Drizzle drizzle

arcane_existence · 2024-09-12T15:10:42+00:00

I’m no pick me, just a gal here with 5 older brothers and I really like the space yall got here. If you guys ever want a perspective I’d like to be invited to make a constructive contribution to this conversation. I also just got dumped so I’m kinda lonely too.

AllGearedUp · 2024-09-12T15:59:14+00:00

What is going on in these comments. Jesus.

Mat_WhateverSilva · 2024-09-13T11:14:32+00:00

I don't enjoy the softning. I would understand selective softning.

I used to frown upon the whole "men should be stoic" thing for a long time, until I grew up, and understood it. There's a reason why they should be that way.

And it's not just because of 2020s women considering misandry and apathy towards men, something to be proud of and strive for. Other men as well, could care less about your problems.

If I were to open up here about the fact that I have been touched starved and alone literally my whole life, and the pain that comes with it, I would be giving shitty empty platitudes, unsolicited naive advice, insane assumptions that I deserved it for being an asshole to women, or insults, by men IN THIS SUBREDDIT and other men's spaces.

If there are men out there that want to be soft, do it, I'm not interested in being "toxically masculine" or preaching it.

But don't be a naive fool. Very few people give a fuck about you. Women and men. Be soft with those that do. Be a emotionless robot with those that don't.

Hire_Ryan_Today · 2024-09-12T16:12:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

I am and have a ton of sensitive friends and I appreciate all my sensitive dudes out here. I know some folks might not like it, I’m enjoying the softening.

Comments

Welcome!

I hope you don't think that's what we're about here? 😟