32(M), out of a relationship the past year - have dated girls throughout the past year to different degrees, 1 for 3 months, another for a month, and then took a break.

I'm since back in the game for the past 3 months, and I've been on 6 dates in the past two months with different girls all from dating apps:

  • 3 were not my type in reality, so we only did 1 date - not a problem.
  • 3 were my type, but our second dates fizzled more than before.

Last night was my latest 2nd date and while it didn't go badly, it didn't flow like the first one, there was a bit of a lull in the middle, and I could feel the excitement of the first date faded a bit.

For context, I match with girls regularly, am a decently looking guy (there was a girl checking me out while my date was at the bar), I play lots of sports (am training for a triathlon currently), big into being outdoors, read, play music, like to dance, am an engineer and studying data science at the moment, have ambitions, etc.

The first dates are easy, I turn on a bit of charm, a bit of flirtation, touching the hands, and eventually kiss during the date if I feel like it - I'm broadly in control. Typically go for drinks on a first date as my go-to.

Last nights second date felt weird though, we went for food and drinks after, she was laughing and were talking lots throughout dinner, but I felt things lull midway through the date, the tension dropped, I felt her interest/excitement wane a bit, the convo started to feel a little forced. We kissed a bunch, and she initiated one or two of the kisses. I played around a bit and tried to keep things light hearted, even jokingly did some slight dancing and asked her to join but she was too shy. At the end of the date we made out and I asked would she like to do something again, she said she would and asked if I would.

But subsequently afterwards when I text her a 'thanks for tonight, had a great time, hope your 100m walk home was safe!' I've since got nothing - so I can tell her interest has dropped/is dropping.

I'm at a bit of a loss at the moment why this is happening, as its not the first time the 2nd date has been a bit of a damp squib in recent weeks, and I'd love opinions on 1st date, 2nd date dynamics, or tripping points that people are aware of when it comes to online dating. Are the dates going on too long? (1st date 3hrs, 2nd dates 4hrs) Am I kissing too much? Is it going for drinks is too boring? Would love some analysis or perspective here, because its frustrating.