Hello gents, I have posted here a few times here a while ago. Anyway 16 months post divorce final and I have come to the realization that while I do still love me ex I don't need her. It is actually kind of liberating for me. I do still go through the occasional period of being down but they are not as frequent and when they happen they are not as low as they were. We were married 35 years and I got the "I am just not happy and I don't love you " speech. No cheating, no abuse she just didn't want to be married to me any more. I was devastated and didn't know if I would ever recover.

Fast forward to about two years including separation and divorce. I am no longer hopeless and longing for her day and night. I get off work and go home to a peaceful house, no drama which is nice. I am learning that I do not need that in my life anymore.

I say all this to give hope to all the men that have faced situations like mine and are still hurting. You are not better now, but you will be. Keep your head down, focus on the day when you will be doing better. It will happen! focus on that goal. Don't do anything rash, be nice if you can even when you don't want to. Things will get better!

On a side note I am so at peace that to be honest as an almost 56 year old man I don't want to be in another relationship so I don't go looking. I have had people try and fix me up and I shoot that down pretty quick. I explain to them that I am at peace now and why would I ever do anything to jeopardize that.

Don't rush into something else because you feel like you need someone in your life. You don't! be content with yourself. Learn to be alone and then if you think you might want to be in a relationship again you will be a better man. Although I can't for the life of me understand why any man would want to put themselves in that situation again. A situation where you can be kicked to the curb because they decided they weren't happy with you for some reason.

Be strong men! Even you don't want to or don't think you can, you can! Do what is right even when you don't want to. You got this!