Anyone Leave because of lack of sex and no sexual connection?

Hairy-Adagio7750 · 2025-12-22T16:24:47+00:00

I'm trying to decide if I should do the same. I'm 31 f dating a 31 m for just under 4 years and we have had sex twice in 3 years only because I initiated. I love him but lack of physical connection is fraying the emotional connection. Would I be terrible if this was a big reason for leaving?

Old_Perspective_1445 · 2025-01-19T13:44:01+00:00

Bravo! I fought for mine for 5 years several councilors and couples retreats and after 5 years she asked for a divorce. I feel like I should have ended it when she cut me off. 5 years thinking if I just work harder to make her happy we will get back to where we were. What a waste.

Fluid-Translator-160 · 2025-01-17T20:15:02+00:00

I recall calling my wife out on this in an appropriate manner and we listed our wants and needs. I had that listed as number one out of like 3. it was the standard never being initiated and we would go months and months without having sex. I told her that was a big issue. Anyway we wrote them all down, she took my list and I took hers. I made it a priority to mark every one of hers off daily and she declined to do the same, I backed off and within 6 months we filed for divorce.

Heyokalol · 2025-01-17T00:32:04+00:00

Takes balls to do what you did.

Your kids would rather see you happy

Tough couple years but you’ll forget about all that when you have a few new friends half the age of your wife, much more flexible and love the newly divorced guy that’s got a lot of making up to do in the bedroom

My GF is 15 yrs younger than my ex wife, no kids, tight like a tiger - bounce quarters of her ass kinda tight. Needless to say I’m not longer worried about the $100k I lost in my divorce. My three sons are good and in fact I might get them full time here soon due to my exs worsening personality disorder

Life is short man, if she loved you she would have made you feel like a king. Withholding sex is emotional abuse and you understand that better than anyone

Stop feeling bad I’m sure you gave her plenty of chances to snap out of it, but she chose to make no effort. You would have ended up cheating

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2025-01-16T23:57:33+00:00

She never loved you man, that is the bottom line. She also is likely getting stimulated by something or someone else.

Fun-Conference1361 · 2025-01-16T22:57:56+00:00

Very common. Some men called it off after the bad honeymoon. I stayed 12 years. Was a 7 at best and normally a 4. No chemistry. Went 6 months a few times with no nooky. If not for the kids and my robust masturbation game, I would’ve bailed long ago. New wife now who started like a nympho and has slowed to a few times a week. Had to take Hims at first to keep up but eventually my body reawakened the titan that was buried deep inside.

ADHD_247 · 2025-01-16T21:42:35+00:00

Sex always takes the blame but its actually nevery truly the sex that is the problem is it.

Sex is a byproduct of all the other elements coming together as a result of a healthy marriage/relationship.

Sources; the beginning of your relationship.

muscularmusician · 2025-01-16T16:30:48+00:00

Completely mismatched sex drives was a large contributing factor to our divorce. She could easily go 4 or 6 months without sex if left to her own devices.. and even then, maybe longer. It was a big issue for us for a number of years, and all she did was make excuses.. and then spend no time at all trying to address them. We knew the birth control she was on had a major impact, but she didn't care. Then, there were stress levels, diet, exercise, and total lack of desire or willingness. She completely stopped showing all forms of love or affection.. for years. Needless to say, this sent me to a very, very dark place that took years to dig myself out of.

LonelyNC123 · 2025-01-16T15:59:50+00:00

Is my wife secretly married to you too? LOL!

Now that our child is done with college I hope to God I finally have the courage to move out next month when she's out of town with her girlfriends for her birthday. In my state moving out is step # in the legal process of divorce.

Most marriages die over sex and money. We have BOTH of those problems.

Marriage should be a source of happiness - not an endurance test.

Mine has just been an endurance test while I tried to hold it together as a decent dad. I have done my 'dad duty', I want out.

SouthEndCables · 2025-01-16T15:20:50+00:00

My wife left me with one of her main complaints that I'm not giving her enough sex. It's awful being the low libido partner in a relationship like that because you're being attacked for something physical that you may not have control over. It's shattered my confidence in being able to connect with another woman after the divorce. There were things we probably could have done to help me a bit get more turned on (like stop nagging me all the time about stupid stuff) but she was unwilling to help or make concessions. It was "you're not giving me what I want right now so I'm going to some other dude!"

Glittering-Spell-446 · 2025-01-16T14:51:41+00:00

No kid?

borogove_1510 · 2025-01-16T14:38:40+00:00

I didn’t move out but after Christmas my wife told me she is gay, which explains a lot in hindsight. She wants to separate and divorce but has no job or money. We have 3 kids, so if she makes a play for alimony/child support it will mean we have to sell the house and can’t afford to stay in this neighborhood, keep the kids in their schools etc. Not sure what happens next.

Title	Anyone Leave because of lack of sex and no sexual connection?
Author	Blackend-1989
Upvotes	18
Comments	17
Date	January 15, 2025 7:36 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1i25q8b/anyone_leave_because_of_lack_of_sex_and_no_sexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-leave-because-of-lack-of-sex-and-no-sexual.1541145 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541145

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