Paying for dates

itstrey720 · 2025-01-21T23:41:40+00:00

It does get expensive. But I’m always paying for the FIRST date to keep her in her feminine and me in my masculine; to signal I have resources when I slap the AMEX Platinum down and to show I can buy us a simple dinner.

UNLESS she absolutely insists that we split the check, I’ll do so. Two reasons they may do this: 1) they don’t want to feel pressured into thinking they owe us something (🍑) because we’ve paid for the entire night. 2) they’re very genuine and want to show they’d like to help. I’ve experienced both. But I try to cover the first date, always.

I would like to see some initiative as we progress to show it’s a two-way street, i.e., splits subsequent meals, expressing how much she wants me/values me, offers to buy ingredients for a homemade dinner, covers the tip, etc.

Just my thoughts! Happy to hear others’ thoughts.

therealwoujo · 2025-01-21T23:38:10+00:00

You should pay on the first date but don't do anything expensive. By the second date she should be offering to pay. If she doesn't, she is milking you.

DaygameCode · 2025-01-21T23:57:49+00:00

If you go on too many dates, that’s a sign you are not being selective enough. Going on a date with you should be an honor that only very few women would qualify for.

Most women do not pay for dates, and it’s a cultural norm in most societies that the man pays first unless the woman offers to pay. So either be picky or don’t go on expensive dates with women.

LegendaryZTV · 2025-01-22T02:18:33+00:00

If it goes well, I’ll pay. If I know I’m not going to go for a second date, we’re splitting the bill

nighthunterrrr · 2025-01-22T06:04:52+00:00

I'm praying for dates. Not paying

Legitimate-Desk-5536 · 2025-01-21T23:43:49+00:00

Whoever’s idea it is - Curtis Jackson

Dandys3107 · 2025-01-22T08:23:29+00:00

Generally you should remember about keeping healthy balance of involvement. If there is not much going on between both of you yet, making sacrifices and investing significant resources can be very easily perceived as being insecure of your value and putting woman in a place of ultimate judge, which they usually subconsciously don’t like at all in sexual partner.

skunkmere · 2025-01-22T01:02:52+00:00

If you ask her out, you pay. Try cooking more to offset the cost. Also just give in a pay most of the time. It's how society works.

amlextex · 2025-01-22T00:19:05+00:00

I asked them to pay the tip, and I cover the meal.

PeterLamb87 · 2025-01-22T00:23:43+00:00

Pay the first, keep it cheap.

7asas · 2025-01-22T00:45:01+00:00

Well, on a first date I always pay. But if we continue dating, I am expecting girl to be paying for some dates too, without me asking for it. It is a nice gesture and also, this shows that girl really cares for you. If she really likes you, she will find ways to treat you too.

Ben0908 · 2025-01-22T04:14:22+00:00

I’ll say do small dates first tbh maybe just get coffee for the first date maybe the second some ice cream nothing crazy yet then once you get to know each others more then maybe a bigger date like minigolf then some food. Remember your trying to get to know each other and see if that will work with each others

BitterLonging · 2025-01-22T04:18:33+00:00

If you want to show that you are looking forward to a long term relationship, show that you have financial security, truly have a connection with her then you should pay. So many men say “she is milking you……..blah blah blah.” Unless you are taking her out to 5 star restaurants every date I don’t believe you should take the same stance. Paying for a date shows that you have more on your mind than just the short term gains and desire more than just immediate gratification. If you are only dating for fun and she understands that then split it 50/50.

GrowCanadian · 2025-01-22T04:27:33+00:00

I answered this question last week and seem to be the outlier. I’ve had more success when we split the bill or she pays on the first date. After becoming friends with some of these girls and asking questions I’ve been told that some girls can get the feeling that if the guy pays for the date the girl now owes the guy and needs to put out. This has turned off some of my dates.

Girls shouldn’t date you because you buy them things, they should date you because you add value in other ways.

In the past 4 months I’ve dated 5 girls, closed 4, and the one I paid for dinner was the one I didn’t close. She’s the only one I don’t talk to anymore.

epimpstyle · 2025-01-22T10:43:29+00:00

You are the one who asks her out for a date --> you pay!

Is she the one who mentioned to go out? --> split the bill.

If you cannot afford to pay for a coffee or a pizza/kebab, then you have other problems in your life than going on a date.

poly_nerdy_panda · 2025-01-22T14:04:56+00:00

i been getting girls to come over on the first date it doesn't always end up in the bedroom but it definitely cuts down cost and the anti slut defense so its win win

thatwabba · 2025-01-22T16:44:04+00:00

Always split on the first date. You are not there to buy her love and attraction to you. Also, the amount of flakes after the first date is higher after the first date (both on the guy side, and the girl side) than after the 2nd or 3rd. Going on couple dates I week will drain lots of money paying for girls.

If you are switching venues during your first date, which I highly recommend, then pay the first drink/coffee and let her pay for the 2nd round.

FindingForgiven · 2025-01-24T18:27:40+00:00

Cheap first date. You pay. Or at least always offer.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2025-01-22T00:44:04+00:00

I don't go on dates until after the girl has already slept with me and we both decided we are still interested in each other. After that I suggest alternating taking care of the bills. Women have their own careers and their own money, I'm not going to insult the fact.

Title	Paying for dates
Author	olderguy43
Upvotes	4
Comments	32
Date	January 21, 2025 11:27 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1i6wo0b/paying_for_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/paying-for-dates.1541819 https://theredarchive.com/post/1541819

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