Should you call a woman you met at the bar a few days later?

Django-Ouroboros · 2025-02-03T22:34:58+00:00

I would just text, I think calling could be a little intrusive

HarvieCZ · 2025-02-03T22:50:05+00:00

I would text her next day afternoon. Morning is too needy, night is too late and she might be drinking again completely forgeting youve ever met. If she was drinking or met more people that night she might be bit confused about who you are, so dont get too emotional in first text anyway, just something like. Hey, i was having fun yesterday, i am open to doing that again. Show clear interest, but don't get all romantic right away.

Charge36 · 2025-02-03T23:37:58+00:00

My personal experience is that unscheduled calls will likely go unanswered, especially with a girl you just met (who may or may not have saved / remembered your number.)

Text her.

HamletHarkins · 2025-02-03T22:26:11+00:00

Idk if it were me, I’d like to receive a text first if it’s been more than 24 hours. I don’t love unprompted phone calls

rvyas619 · 2025-02-04T00:57:53+00:00

I’d TEXT her something like “hey, hope things are good with you. I was just thinking about you and wanted to reach out and say hi. I had fun with you last (XYZ day) and I was wondering if you wanted to go out again”

Araethor · 2025-02-04T00:51:56+00:00

Haha. Seduction subreddit. All threads about “can I talk to a woman?”

caesarfecit · 2025-02-04T05:03:31+00:00

There's only two considerations in my mind when deciding how/when to text a girl:

What am I trying to accomplish? Ideally it should be organizing a date/meetup.
What's her buying temperature like?
- If it's high, I want to strike while the iron is hot and as soon as appropriate (if you met her last night, the next day, just not crazy early).
- If it's medium, I want to keep the momentum up without going hard sell. I'd text her later the next day.
- If it's low, I'd either not text, do a pro forma follow-up within a day or two, or only text sporadically and randomly to stay on her radar. (This is more typical of social circle game, cold approaches with a low buying temperature generally flake/ghost, but occasionally they circle back)

As for calling, I'd do this only for two reasons - if your chemistry was super high and you want to keep that momentum up. Or if something spur of the moment comes up and decide to just see what happens. Calling a girl you talked to for a few minutes at a bar is a bit high risk/high-reward. It works better when you built up some good rapport/chemistry but a pull wasn't in the cards.

-MrsInterrupted- · 2025-02-03T23:03:58+00:00

I think if you’re comfortable making the phone call, it could definitely make you stand out for the initiative!

If you’re feeling unsure of how that might be received and think texting would be more successful, making a point to set a time and place / offering to pick her up if she’s comfortable with that, will also give her the sense that you know how to take control of a situation — which we love;)

Dry-Set-6761 · 2025-02-03T23:20:43+00:00

I personally call for a “temperature check”. If I think the interaction via text isn’t going too well, I call to hear her tonality and enthusiasm to assess if she’s actually interested

GlowUpMission · 2025-02-04T00:14:47+00:00

Text in the next afternoon. Days is too long and the momentum will have gone away

DrinksAreOnTheHouse · 2025-02-04T02:03:24+00:00

Text around lunch the next day

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-02-04T02:44:51+00:00

I would text asap the next day. Numbers from the bar are super flaky but look at it from her perspective. She’s likely drunk and got like 10 numbers. If she even remembers you it’s a win

Cynical_Asshole72826 · 2025-02-04T05:47:28+00:00

Make it happen be true and accept the possibility you are not compatible

Competitive-Pop6530 · 2025-02-04T07:32:02+00:00

You should hv called her on the way home from the bar.

“Hi! You may not remember me but we just met and I wanted to make sure you made it home safely from the bar.”

Not creepy at all. You missed your opportunity to stand out. Better luck next time

dogstarfugitive · 2025-02-04T07:44:18+00:00

Text 2-3 days later at night after she's done with work.

tommybahamaX · 2025-02-04T09:42:43+00:00

That night! When you get home!

HerrAdventure · 2025-02-04T17:24:12+00:00

Text the next day in the afternoon.

zebekias · 2025-02-04T18:04:18+00:00

Obviously answering a text has a lower compliance threshold than answering a call, which has a lower compliance threshold than answering a facetime video call. This is the theory, and if you are starting out it might be best to stick to simple texting.

Once I became confident, I tended to quickly escalate to phone or facetime or just confidently ask for a date over text. I had girls reply to a text by calling me and saying "too lazy to type", or I had girls say in person "so when are you going to get my number?" or "how are you going to remember to call me?" or "how are you going to remember my name?" When you get these kind of vibes, you can definitely call or you can text her "I will facetime you in a bit". A little warning is great for getting facetime compliance.

I used the so-so interactions to practice calling while driving and leaving chill non-needy fun voice-mails, calling again, and again, and some of those responded by eventually answering the call, texting back, or calling back, and some converted to dates. Using these so-so interactions to practice calling when you know you don't really have the compliance, is useful to build your confidence.

At some point you shouldn't even have to think about it. Contact impulsively, call or text, whatever you feel best, and don't plan what to say. Remember, when they like you, they make it super easy :)

Then_North_6347 · 2025-02-03T23:11:03+00:00

Personally I think the next day is a good idea. Same night is too needy, and wait three days? She could literally get two thousand likes on a dating app by then.

DaygameCode · 2025-02-03T23:19:32+00:00

it wouldn’t make you stand o it because that’s the bare minimum. Having said that if you met her at a bar she probably forgot you already.

Vegetable-Ad8452 · 2025-02-04T01:23:58+00:00

Wait a few weeks.

yazzooClay · 2025-02-03T23:43:39+00:00

This is not the 90's dont even ask for a number well unless she is 35 plus. Ask for social media. Or if you want to be bold Facetime her. Call is super basic imo.

Title	Should you call a woman you met at the bar a few days later?
Author	ImperialMajestyX02
Upvotes	23
Comments	30
Date	February 3, 2025 10:21 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ih1w2i/should_you_call_a_woman_you_met_at_the_bar_a_few/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-you-call-a-woman-you-met-at-the-bar-a-few.1542909 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542909

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