Not approaching, now what?

sqowz · 2025-02-10T16:18:17+00:00

3 second rule.

1, 2, 3 approach, no compromise.

What to say? Anything.

For a starter why not just say "hi".

Because if you can't even say hi to her don't even think about pulling off some witty pickup lines right there right then.

Foreign_Train3829 · 2025-02-10T16:38:09+00:00

Get you. Feel you. Find a buddy to hold yourself accountable to. Maybe go study together or go to coffee places. Look for a girl you wanna approach and let your buddy push you. The first will be the hardest but it will get easier. Don’t care about succeeding, care about overcoming your anxiety. Anything else will come with practice. For the beginning, set yourself a goal like „one approach a day“ for instance, so you keep being disciplined and develop grit. The buddy thing is what helped me and friend the best.

PrinceDestin · 2025-02-10T16:53:14+00:00

Imma be honest I just started approaching again the other day and I felt great although I ain’t get shit, but I rather that then looking back at how I didn’t approach

Honestly if they don’t fw you they will say they have a boyfriend or maybe they actually do I don’t give a shit

I did my part for trying and it made me want to do it again

StrikingImportance39 · 2025-02-10T16:23:15+00:00

Do warm u sets.

EetinAintCheetin · 2025-02-10T19:44:54+00:00

Don’t focus on approaching and obtaining women. Focus on going out to have a good time, socialize and get to know new and interesting people.

The reason guys get approach anxiety is because they have over expectations. They set themselves a goal like “I MUST GET THIS GIRL’S NUMBER” or “I MUST MAKE HER INTERESTED IN ME”, which inevitably leads to you making the interaction into a big deal and therefore making yourself nervous and anxious.

As a matter of fact, do this. Go out for a couple of weeks as much as you can with friends to trendy bars. Resolve to NOT hit on any women while you are there. Make it your goal to get to know 2-3 girls a night. No agenda, no expectations, no trying to pick them up, hit on them, seduce them, etc. Just be natural and if it happens it happens. Don’t TRY to get them.

You will have a much better experience and when you are not attached to an outcome of trying to get them interested or whatever, they are more likely to actually get inter aged in you.

MyUsername0_0 · 2025-02-10T19:54:38+00:00

Look for wingmen. There are telegram groups for guys who do cold approach. Check if there is one for your city. https://www.gameglobal.net/groups/

DaygameCode · 2025-02-10T21:41:10+00:00

Anxiety just wants you to be ready for catastrophic outcomes that may or may not happen. Anxiety will only relax if she feels that you have under control those negative outcomes. So what you do is just that, get ready.

Potential bad outcomes anxiety predicts:

The woman may say it’s weird to cold approach strangers in the street.

If you do something you need to own it, and if she questions what you do, you need to show absolute confidence that you are sure of what you are doing and never being apologetic about it. Double down if necessary or use sarcasm:

Double down: “That’s me, the king of weirdness”, “There is weird, there is the king of weirdness and then there is me on a whole other level”

Sarcasm: “You are absolutely right who needs real life conversations, when we have emojis to create the most honest and authentic connection” or “You’re right, talking to strangers? What am i, a social anarchist?” or “You’re right, talking face to face? What type of barbaric behavior is this? Next thing, you know i’ll be sending smoke signals”

The woman if she is clearly way younger than you may question whether an older person like you should actually hit on her.

Don’t convince her with logic that age doesn’t matter, instead change her mood with a joke to make her laugh and reduce her defences:

Exaggeration as a joke if you are not actually that old: “Yeah, I am so old, i could be running for president of the united states” or “Yeah, I literally just escaped the seniors home for one last adventure”, “

If you are indeed very very old: “Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it anyway” “Yeah, i’m like the vintage collection edition” or “I can’t wait for you dad’s reaction when you call me daddy”

The woman may accuse you of being creepy or invading her personal space.

This is more avoid preventing, rather than fixing. You want to avoid being perceived as creepy by knowing first what is it that makes it creepy, which is not revealing intentions instantly and not asking for permission to talk.

You wanna avoid starting a conversation casually for no reason like “hey how is it going, you come here often? what do you do for fun?” because the girl is thinking “why is he asking me this personal stuff, what does he want? Can i go or will he harass me?”

She is feeling wary and is only responding politely as she evaluates the situation, so the can make you be perceived as creepy. There are more reasons why she could think you are creepy which can be avoided but i won’t get into that now. Just say your intentions in the opener, ask her if that’s cool with her and then you may ask some questions.

There are more situations anxiety fears could happen like:

• The woman may be in a relationship and her partner may confront you for hitting on her.

• The woman may assume you have ulterior motives, like trying to scam her or get something from her.

• The woman may reject you in a way that draws attention, causing others around you to witness the rejection.

• The woman may report you to authorities or security, viewing your approach as harassment.

• The woman may respond rudely or mockingly, making you feel embarrassed or humiliated.

• The woman may give you a harsh or aggressive rejection, leaving you feeling defensive or upset.

But i won’t get into how to solve all of these to reduce your anxiety here cuz it’s too much writing, just book a free coaching session with me here, and i’ll give you practical tips for all the rest of the situations.

MrPound4Pound · 2025-02-12T00:56:19+00:00

I cold approach cause I absolutely get nothing on dating apps lol. Why do you want to cold approach if you're getting dates on the apps? If I actually got any matches and dates, I'd probably do way less if not any cold approaching at this point.

Smitty-TBR2430 · 2025-02-10T16:26:51+00:00

Do not open with any corny - cheesy - canned lines. The f’n best opening line ever is “Hi, I’m Bob” or whatever your name is.

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-02-15T21:36:08+00:00

Hi, you probably have anxiety issues. What have you tried so far to solve that problem? And how did it go?

Fackyamomz · 2025-02-10T20:18:08+00:00

Just be Indian and the girls will come to you

epimpstyle · 2025-02-10T23:07:20+00:00

You don't need 4 days to make an approach. With the right mindset, you can make a move in less than an hour. A dating coach will get you in the right mindset because from here starts everything. However, it is too expensive, I guess you found a scammer. If someone would tell you if you approach a girl in 5 minutes I will give you 5k, I bet you will forget about approach anxiety.

You need the mindset and you need to learn some stories or scripts to build your sentences. Forget about the "natural" BS, in the beginning, nothing is "natural", you can either learn by trial and error or start slower and build more sentences until you can hold a dialog..

It also depends on what kind of AA you have. Can you explain it in a sentence or is it just there and you can't even find the words to describe it?

Title	Not approaching, now what?
Author	Hot_Ad_407
Upvotes	2
Comments	18
Date	February 10, 2025 4:13 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1im9rqf/not_approaching_now_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/not-approaching-now-what.1543481 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543481

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