Sharing a man?

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-03-04T02:31:00+00:00

It's called a mistress. I imagine it would get old fast. I'll take my used minivan and Cosco membership with a faithful man, instead.

deltronroberts · 2025-03-04T03:43:28+00:00

So:

Given all of that, what do you think of sharing a high caliber man, as in full on knowing you’ll be his second life partner, while being able to fully trust that he’ll always take care of you and your family and be a good partner?

This is a fantasy. The man in your fantasies will not have time to be what you likely define as a “good partner”; he will be able to provide financial support to you while you care for and raise his kids, but what you seem to want is for him to be like a “husband”, although you are admittedly the “side chick”. In ages past, you would be called a “concubine” in this scenario.

Whatever label you put on this relationship, it assumes that his “primary” life partner is ok with it, and won’t eventually get jealous of you and the children he produces with you, as well as the time that he spends with you and the children the two of you produce. Centuries of accumulated wisdom indicate that this is unlikely.

Let’s picture this scenario, you’re young and you know you want to be lead and provided for by a man, he’s older and he wants somebody to mold to his liking and take care of. He earns low 7 figures, so he can afford to put you through grad school and start off a small business for you, while you commit to being submissive and catering to him in a long term relationship.

This is called a “sugar daddy” relationship, and in this scenario, you are the “sugar baby.” It is not an uncommon scenario, but the only men I know who do this, do not have a “primary” relationship; and they do not want one. If the man does have a “primary relationship” then you are his “mistress”. And that doesn’t often end well.

If you are ok with meeting his needs in exchange for the financial and material support that he provides, so be it. But the “scenario” you describe is actually two totally different and incompatible scenarios; in other words, a complete fantasy.

In one scenario, you and “your family” (i.e., kids) are “always taken care of”, while in the other scenario, he “puts you through grad school and starts off a small business for you”….

Why would a man want to have children with a “secondary partner” who will spend her time going to grad school and running a small business, instead of devoting her time to raising his children??

This is the fantasy of an immature young woman who wants to have her cake and still eat it; it’s the manifestation of lie that has been sold by feminism: you can “have it all”, without having to give anything up.

You have to be mature, make a choice, and put yourself totally into that choice: find a high-value man by being 100% the woman, or find a “sugar daddy” who will give you the launchpad to financial success.

throwawayfun_222 · 2025-03-04T03:21:01+00:00

Unlikely scenario for most women.

mistressusa · 2025-03-04T03:25:44+00:00

>while being able to fully trust that he’ll always take care of you and your family and be a good partner?

What makes you think this?

CyberTutu · 2025-03-04T03:16:33+00:00

I'd rather be single and broke forever than be one of two wives for a man whilst I only have one husband, I hate unequal relationships. I'd feel devalued and worthless. Literally makes my stomach turn to imagine such a scenario

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2025-03-04T07:20:18+00:00

And when you're no longer young and moldable, will this man still want you around?

EstablishmentDry1988 · 2025-03-04T02:38:17+00:00

The hard part is not having any legal skin in the game when it comes to marriage. If he dies or decides to get a different young woman to mold and kicks you and your babies out, then what? Or tried to take full custody of the kids and just says goodbye to you, in theory he’s got all the money and you’re grifting off his business, a judge could decide to give him sole custody if he wanted it. Idk if there are legal contracts that can be drawn up, but that would be important.

There’s just no guarantee you’ll stay the same forever (accepting him giving his valuable resources to other women) or that he will want to keep up with you. Once things get serious it becomes a daily choice to choose each other. You may not have pre-mom body, libido, attitude, etc. it’s just too risky. Better to find a one-woman man on a mission to provide. Someone who wants to help you with grad school or your career. Contribute to the family financially for a couple of years to put you both in a great spot to have a child and you be a SAHM.

ETA: It sounds awesome if you and the other woman and your man is on the same page. Yes, I think it’s important you maintain a cordial and somewhat trustworthy relationship with the other woman.

Dionne005 · 2025-03-04T02:59:55+00:00

He’s not going to start a business for you to be a second wife. And let you go to grad school as a second wife. Why can’t you do that for yourself? Also why not just get help from a woman versus waiting for a man to do this for you? Are we as women just looking for a DEAL! 🤣 who are you? Howie Mandel? Being red pill to me isn’t about being a save me type woman. Waiting for Superman to save you from your crises. It’s about being high value woman.

CountTheBees · 2025-03-04T04:13:15+00:00

7 figures seems like overkill, low 6 figures would be doable depending where you live and what physical comforts you're willing to sacrifice. Do you really need all that money? Sounds like a lot of hassle.

MentalShelter8962 · 2025-03-04T04:33:34+00:00

This is the case for alot of women in africa, if western women feel the pain of the economy its ten times worse for african and women in 3rd world countries in general. Some cannot even afford sanitary towels since the prices of commodities doubled or trippled due to covid, so they are forced to share the "high caliber" men, with economic incentive being primary objective while romance and love takes a back seat.

AutoModerator · 2025-03-04T02:19:16+00:00

Title: Sharing a man?

Author NoTrust1145

Full text: Hi there!

We all know how difficult it is nowadays to find a “high caliber” man; aka a man that is successful, masculine, with leadership skills, social status and so on.

With how expensive everything is, on the other hand, it’s not exactly realistic to expect to sustain a traditional life with just one average income.

So because of that, the competition out there for a man that could actually sustain a stay at home mom with a “comfortable” lifestyle is rough.

Given all of that, what do you think of sharing a high caliber man, as in full on knowing you’ll be his second life partner, while being able to fully trust that he’ll always take care of you and your family and be a good partner?

Let’s picture this scenario, you’re young and you know you want to be lead and provided for by a man, he’s older and he wants somebody to mold to his liking and take care of. He earns low 7 figures, so he can afford to put you through grad school and start off a small business for you, while you commit to being submissive and catering to him in a long term relationship.

Does this sound like a good deal to you?

Appreciate all your thoughts and comments

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steelymaid · 2025-03-05T06:50:54+00:00

I feel intensely jealous to the point of violent desires towards any woman who talks to or even looks at my husband. The thought of him actually sleeping with another woman... I don't think I would be able to find peace until I murdered her.

Werevulvi · 2025-03-07T01:03:33+00:00

Honestly, no. I'd much rather be with a more mediocre man with a mediocre income who's actually devoted to me, and struggle a bit financially.

Thing is though I'm not that young (mid 30's) so by the time I find the right guy, I'll likely be too old to have kids anyway. I would still want children, I'm just being realistic about it. So most likely we'd only be a family of two (ie a couple) which would be cheaper financially. Plus, I actually have the rare luxuary of being afforded a sorta disability allowance (from the state) for life, which although is a small sum of money (around 10k a year) would actually be hugely helpful if I did marry a man who only has a mediocre income.

Fyi I get that special income because my autism makes it difficult for me to hold a job, but I can cook and clean in my own home just fine, plus socializing and empathizing is the one thing I've put a lot effort into becoming good at. So I feel like the tradwife life would be pretty much ideal for me. Not having to hassle with the job market at all, while still pulling in a small sum of money, and being able to put in all my time and energy into the home and my relationships. Also, I've never been able to have a job in the traditional sense, I've been living on this (or some other verson of this) state sanctioned allowance since I was 19.

So I get that I can't really fit myself into the very premise of your question, but... with the way my life is and the opportunities I have, I don't even necessarily aim at marrying rich. I just need a good man who is traditional and masculine in his values and actions, even if he has a low paying job. Because I can already sustain myself financially, with a little bit of my parents help. But they aren't gonna live forever to cover for the costs of my hobbies and skincare etc. So I do want a little boost financially from a marriage, so that I can let my parents off the hook. But I mean 10k a year extra would be enough. Not ideal, but doable. If we would manage to have kids though, maybe money would be a little tight with that.

I dunno, I kinda don't wanna focus on money too much. I don't mean to judge anyone else here for focusing on money though. I get that people have different circumstances and thus different needs, and that's fine. I mean, let's be honest: a big reason I don't wanna focus on money is because I'm getting old and haggered and in this economy... the chances of me ending up alone and miserable are kinda high if I'd start rejecting men with lower incomes, and I just really don't want that. I've accepted that the top 20% of men simply have zero interest in me what so ever, and maybe they deserve better than me anyway.

tinyshinyzorua · 2025-03-04T02:21:50+00:00

I have a friend in this situation and she’s happy and cared for, it’s consensual and she enjoys their arrangement

VasiliyZaitzev · 2025-03-04T13:16:20+00:00

Hi there. So I did this for time. Twice, actually, although it never got to the kid-having stage - although one of them just boomeranged back to me bc: 32 and no kids and that biological clock is going like a trip hammer. A 24 year old in my rotation would happily sign up for this.

Two things that you need to consider:

General compatibility with the other woman. When it works, it’s great - my girls would hv convos like: “I have to work on Friday - will you be here to take care of him?” I do not think I was necessarily intended to overhear it, but it was a genuinely tender moment.

Sexual compatibility with then other woman. Unless you marry a religious fundamentalist, the whole point to having two women is to have two women. In my case, if they want to “do stuff” with the other girl, fine. Not required, but I do enjoy, well, there’s no delicate way of saying this so I will just say it, I really enjoy getting head from 2 women. You have to be clear up front what the rules are.

Title	Sharing a man?
Author	NoTrust1145
Upvotes	0
Comments	38
Date	March 4, 2025 2:19 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1j307ho/sharing_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/sharing-a-man.1545552 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545552

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