Feeling lost

OldGuyNewTrix · 2025-03-05T15:24:09+00:00

I’m 45 and starting over too. Started a new position last year, took a huge pay cut because those job was commission and the pipeline took awhile to fill, but thought my STBXW would be helping covering expenses. I can’t afford to live anywhere in my area it’s so over priced right now. I’m like you, unsure what to do but continue to grind it out.

I’m not sure what kind of sales you were doing but if it’s retail, around here mattress and furniture do real well and make 80k+

Best of luck either way. But got this. It’s just going to take time to heal and get back on your feet.

TheGreatSageAndOnion · 2025-03-05T14:33:00+00:00

Sorry to hear about what’s happened. Lots of good advice from great people who took the time to respond (you guys are awesome). Wishing you luck. I too believe the effort you put in is what you get out. Your kids will love to hear and see your comeback story.

AlexKidd79 · 2025-03-05T13:35:49+00:00

First: I'm sorry you're going through this. Second: As shitty as things may feel right now, YOU'VE GOT THIS.

Listen: Working your way up to 80k a year in sales is no joke. If you've done it once, you can do it again. There's a lot of strong advice and encouragement in this thread, I'll add: the awesome thing about sales is that your earning potential is practically uncapped. So you could go from 80k to 160k or higher.

What other sales positions could you pursue? Get creative. Are there companies in your area hiring salespeople? My experience is that most companies -- and particularly growth-oriented companies -- are usually keen on meeting salespeople with a proven track record.

How could you leverage your sales skills in new or creative ways? Examples: retail arbitrage through Facebook Marketplace, internet marketing, etc.

Life is hard. What more can we say? BUT YOU'VE FUCKING GOT THIS.

Now go out there and get that bread, hoss!

regertsrus · 2025-03-05T11:56:49+00:00

Have you considered investing in YOU? It sounds like you invested in your family for a long time. What investments can you make in you? For example, at age 37 i went back for my 2nd college degree in a totally new field. At 40 i graduated and went back again for a masters. I graduated that at 42 on the brink of mental collapse living in roach motels away from my kids more days than i could stand. It worked out really well and i am happy. I have success and a new blended family as i try to deal with a pathological liar x in court. Your problem is lack of hope. You have to make some. Small baby steps for progress. Keep working your dead end job and go back to school at nite. Something needed to inspire your hope and faith for a brighter tomorrow. Start now!

Radicalbrahhh · 2025-03-05T05:31:57+00:00

Hang in there. Can you work in sales at another company in the industry with your massive amount of experience? Look all over the country; maybe a big move and change wouldn’t be bad. Theres nothing wrong with working any job at the moment, but keep your eyes open for one with more of a path. Can you work in sales in another industry? Car sales at a dealership? Would you be able to get into a trade school as an apprentice? Maybe find a beater car and give up that 500 monthly payment until you’re back on your feet. Make sure you’re getting enough exercise, keeps the mind and body sharp. Keep going brother we believe in you

upvotersfortruth · 2025-03-05T04:35:54+00:00

We are here for you, brother. I felt overwhelmed reading your post, so I can't imagine what it's like to wake up to that every morning - even assuming you're getting sleep - not much by the looks of it.

You're set to come out of this and rebuild, though, and all it takes is work - which you don't seem to shy away from. But it's not possible to work your way out of it if you're constantly battling all your monsters at once because they will consume you.

The book I read that changed my life and actually helped me through the overwhelm without expecting it was "Getting Things Done" by David Allen. Here goes:

Anything requiring more than one step to complete is a Project
Any Project of any size can be broken down into Steps
If you're struggling to start or make progress on a Project, you're trying to take too big of a Step
For any of "those" Projects, the right Size step is: the very next physical thing you need to do to progress it - what does that mean?

If your project is "find another new job to earn more money" and your Step is "update resume" - that might be too big - the next Step is - find old resume on computer, or open the resume file. Literally baby steps.

Next - you can spend three minutes on anything - so that's what you do - promise yourself you'll spend three minutes on it and if it's not working, you'll do something else.

For your mental health - with all that going on, you're probably engaging in spiral or circular thinking - we've all been there. There really is only one solution: get the thoughts out, write them down, type them in the notes app on your phone, rant here, or speak them into a voice recorder.

Final advice: Speak nicely to yourself, do nice things for yourself no matter how small. You're not failing, you're rebuilding. Getting back up after a bunch of kicks to the teeth. As above, you're luck because you can work your way out of 90% of this.

Chonkey808 · 2025-03-05T04:02:16+00:00

Start by getting more sleep. Do your taxes. There is nothing wrong with a job at autozone. There is dignity in every job and $15/hour isn't bad.

If you moved home with your parents, consider that an opportunity to spend quality time with them. We never know how much longer our parents have.

Good luck!

CA_Poppy_25 · 2025-03-05T03:57:02+00:00

There is always hope, my friend. Life can stink and I'm so sorry about your circumstances.

I met my husband while working a second full-time job to pay off a mountain of debt that I built up in my late 20's. I tried helping someone and instead of helping, I got pulled down in the ditch myself. It was bad, bad, bad. I worked that 2nd job until my health started feeling it. It worked. My debt got paid and the Lord was faithful to restore the years the locusts had eaten (verse in old testament).

This husband now wants to divorce, because we are not compatible. The future is uncertain, but God is with me. He has been faithful to me.

Do not lose hope. Are you able to work another job? I plan to. I used to sell on eBay and it was fun and profitable. It's harder now, but if others can do it, I can too. A side gig can keep your mind occupied and give you purpose. We need that.

DM me if you'd like. You sound like a very nice, hardworking person. You have people who love you. Remember that. Take baby steps forward. You can do it. Don't give up.

mysteriouslypuzzled · 2025-03-05T03:56:23+00:00

You my friend...are in what is called the "the suck"...you're at rock bottom. And the thing about rock bottom is: you can only go up from there. You're lost. But I got you man..you're gonna be OK. Do little things for yourself. Bring some joy into your life. Me? I do it by fucking around on a bass guitar. Can't play for shit. But it's soothing for my raw, blistered soul. I make things. Fix things. It's my fuck you to the cosmos. There's a thousand small ways you can make your life better/easier.. Find a new job if you can. Something that pays better. Get out of the house. Find a place that brings you peace. A park, a church. Do something you always wanted to do. Whether it be something small or big. Let me say it again. You're gonna be OK. Message me anytime. I'll respond when I see it. Because I work a lot.

Title	Feeling lost
Author	Some_Tradition3451
Upvotes	12
Comments	11
Date	March 5, 2025 3:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1j3tvxi/feeling_lost/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/feeling-lost.1545640 https://theredarchive.com/post/1545640

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