How do I even be "clear with my intentions "

Playful_Dot_537 · 2025-05-09T20:41:38+00:00

If you say "I'm looking for something real" or "I am looking for something casual and fun" you are basically saying the same thing. But you are not saying it a way to be much less threatening to her.

You gotta read the room. I once had a woman I just met pull her dress up and show me her g-string on a dance floor to attract me. But that usually does not happen lol. That is generally an aberration unless you are hot as shit or she is drunk off her ass (or both).

So you need to build connection and safety way before you start asking a woman for anything.

But once she feels safe and connected to you, and IF she is truly attracted to you, don't worry. You won't have to do much heavy lifting. She will do it for you.

Mullet_Ben · 2025-05-09T20:22:28+00:00

It's not "I want you to be my girlfriend" it's "I'm looking for a girlfriend"

Different implications, in the first you're specifically saying you want her in particular which probably feels like too much too soon. In the second you're speaking more generally but it's showing you aren't putting all your eggs in one basket which is less pressure on her.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-05-09T20:58:51+00:00

There's an optimal balance. If you're too vague she may think you just want to be friends. If you're too direct, you creep her out or scare her.

Your goal, when seducing, is to strike that optimal balance that is ideal for the particular situation and woman you are talking to. That differs from setting to setting.

But in general, if you want a simple starting point to not end up in the friendzone, I'd say it's a good move to ask her on a date within the first week of meeting her for the very first time.

Far-End470 · 2025-05-10T00:03:51+00:00

Mode 1 by Alan Roger Currie. You literally do just what you said.

And no, it’s not as awkward as you’d think.

ratfooshi · 2025-05-09T20:50:47+00:00

Hell naw!

Seduction thrives off mystery! Keep your superpowers!

You'd be in their mind tenfold if you kept them wondering what your intentions were. We desire enigmas, and things we can't automatically get.

You don't have to lie, but let your answers be ambiguous, and open to different interpretations.

Keeping you on their mind is the game of seduction. And what better way than to make them work for your intentions? 😏

unevendopamine2 · 2025-05-10T00:07:38+00:00

NEVER do that

Unless you’re super good looking or famous, it comes across as weak. Imagine you met a girl who you thought was cute and she said “I want marriage” you’d be like… not put off but it just makes her look like she can’t handle herself and has to let you know her intensions

As opposed to a 9/10 you know she’s telling you because she has so many options she cba to waste time

jackzander · 2025-05-09T20:18:35+00:00

Yeah coz no one wants to hear that from strangers 😂

edgessawnoff · 2025-05-10T04:28:01+00:00

Look up Mode One by Alan Roger Currie, specifically when he mentions Mode 1.5. David X is also good for a slightly different style of showing intent.

saryiahan · 2025-05-09T21:06:48+00:00

You just answered your own question

FriendlyWrenChilling · 2025-05-10T02:50:17+00:00

Do so with your future projections and include the girl you are talking to in those future projections if you want to signal a LTR.

Do less future projections and side towards value based techniques such as disqualification and "making her chase frames 101" if you want to signal something casual.

Miserable_Bison_5408 · 2025-05-10T09:30:06+00:00

By being ''clear with your intentions ''

Not 'too obvious', it's different. Subtle.

VelvetSinclair · 2025-05-10T23:56:39+00:00

"I want you to be my girlfriend" is weird because it doesn't make any sense. Why her, if you don't know her already? It comes across as "I want someone to be my girlfriend, and you'll do." If you don't know her well enough already, then you don't have enough information to make that call. Later on when you do have that information, it makes more sense.

I guess "I just wanna fuck" works more or less the same way just on a shorter timeframe.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-05-17T01:48:39+00:00

What does “being clear” actually mean?

It’s about showing, not telling:

Show you’re attracted.
Show you’re not afraid to flirt.
Show you’re grounded enough to hold sexual tension without rushing or apologizing.

Instead of “I want to fuck you,” say something like: "You’re the kind of girl who makes a guy forget his good intentions" or "If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to stop pretending I have self-control.”

It’s playful, flirty, suggestive, and clear.

It's about implying desire instead of declaring it, in other words communicating desire between the lines:

Instead of: “I want you.” Say: “There’s something about you that makes it really hard to behave.”

Instead of: “I want to sleep with you.” Say: “I probably shouldn’t be thinking what I’m thinking right now.”

This way you make her feel that you’re thinking sexually… but you don’t say it outright. That opens the door for play, for teasing, for her to respond without feeling cornered..

Think like a movie scene, not a job interview In a movie, when a man and a woman stare at each other, pause, smile, lean in close… you know what’s going on, even if no one says “I want to kiss you.” That’s implied desire.

In a job interview, everything is direct, logical, performance-based:

That’s exactly what most guys sound like when they say:

“I like you. Do you like me too?”
“I want a relationship. Are you open to that?”
“I think we should go on a date.”

It's all outcome-focused, and outcome-focused talk tends to kill the spark.

But in a movie, instead of saying “I like you,” you lean in slightly, eyes holding hers just a second too long, and with a smirk you say, “You’re kinda messing with me right now, aren’t you?” Or maybe, after she says something a little bold, you smile, shake your head, and murmur, “See… now you’re just making it harder to behave.”

You’re not declaring your feelings like it’s a school confession, you’re letting her feel them. The words are playful, they flirt with the edge, and they build emotional tension. You’re inviting her into a moment, not pitching her an offer. It’s the difference between saying “I’m into you” and making her feel it without ever needing to spell it out. That’s implied desire, and it hits way deeper.

HomelessMilkman · 2025-05-10T06:57:07+00:00

'Clarity of intent' is more about presenting yourself while not being distracted, holding back, being internally fractured and therefore uncharismatic; than it is literally saying you want to fuck the girl.

It's 'half-stepping', it's 'limp dick energy', it's being 'unconvincing', it's having a lot of things floating in your mind which results in you presenting yourself poorly.

Showing that you want to fuck the girl is irrelevant, it's only relevant that she wants to fuck you and she's going to determine that whether you show up with charisma or you're in your head, stifled, tense, uncomfortable, etc.

Title	How do I even be "clear with my intentions "
Author	bigmanzac
Upvotes	57
Comments	22
Date	May 9, 2025 8:12 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1kis2u6/how_do_i_even_be_clear_with_my_intentions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-even-be-clear-with-my-intentions.1551728 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551728

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