Advice

Character_Hippo90 · 2025-05-12T02:37:32+00:00

"Twice bitten" and still haven't learned. The answers you're seeking won't salve the infidelity unless you remove yourself from the source. Why bother.

deep66it2 · 2025-05-11T21:26:30+00:00

So, you haven't learned of all the other men. Early on and just as likely now. This really sucks; but is the kids yours? Back away quietly. Prepare to go away. A good attorney could be a + or even necessary to cover your bases. Don't ask about other men again. If she starts talking a little, trying to feel you out, she suspects something's up. Really watch what you say and do. You could be the star of vids. Same around kid. DNA test? Don't know how to do privately. You're in for a heap of hell no matter what.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-05-11T19:53:16+00:00

Your mistake was not breaking it off when you found out she was sleeping with another guy during the getting to know you phase. A healthy woman dates one guy at a time, no exceptions. Too late to change that now so you need to do the NEXT BEST THING for yourself.

I would not invest in the relationship and attempt to build a future together with a woman like this. Keep it casual, co-parent, but do not get attached. Do NOT get her pregnant again. You defintely don't want to co-habitate nor comingle finances. If you are already living together and "playing" married couple (never a smart thing to do) start making plans to move out and get your own space.

You will never get the full truth, nor will getting the truth give you closure. Cheaters ALWAYS trickle truth. Now that you know what type of person she really is you need to decide if this is the kind of person you want to build a future with.

If your child came to you in 30 years and told you they were in this situation what advice would you give them? Follow this advice for yourself, you are worth it.

warwww · 2025-05-11T16:44:24+00:00

Ha “past is the past”. What a load of bs.

Those words are going to haunt you every single time you are intimate with her. She deceived and lied to you.

You are going to imagine how another man had his way with her when she was supposed to be in a committed relationship with you.

Lots of other decent women out there. Let this divorcee go.

Lonely_Panda4322 · 2025-05-11T16:34:40+00:00

My brother, you need a turbo now…run run run brother….

EyesOpened50 · 2025-05-11T14:31:36+00:00

Is the child both of yours / hers only or hers and her other partners? Before you blow anything up, you need to definitely know - DNA test is mandatory in a situation like this! Easy to do with online kits these days, so nobody would know and you can do whatever you need to do with that knowledge!

With regard to the other relationship which she ran in tandem whilst you were both exclusive and you'd spoken about this or stated you were both in a committed relationship with each other?

My experience - It changes the dynamics and once you've accepted it, she knows she can do it again even though she knows the pain of infidelity, think about it as you know it too!! It's never going to go away and you need a full time line and proof ie emails / texts / conversations / I'd speak to him directly without letting her know (is he married / in a relationship both now and then?)

The one thing is this and very common - it's the lies and deceit that get you in the end! Checking the phones / emails/ her whereabouts as trust and respect have been broken! You need full remorse and need to know what it actually looks like - get yourself over to survivinginfidelity.com and read all of these articles and double read the ones that are relevant to you and your circumstances! Here's the ink - https://survivinginfidelity.com/documents/library/articles/

Knowledge is power but you need wisdom to use it to it's full potential!!

regertsrus · 2025-05-11T11:20:51+00:00

I would leave because that past is very likely going to be your future. You nave zero reasons to believe its not

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-05-11T10:38:24+00:00

I think your feelings are valid. For her to say "past is the past" is almost like she's giving herself a hall pass.

Depends on what yours and her definition of serious was in those early stages.

Title	Advice
Author	Such_Lynx1999
Upvotes	10
Comments	8
Date	May 11, 2025 9:25 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1kjx17j/advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/advice.1551981 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551981

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