She made me feel like I wasted her time

Icy_Employer1998 · 2025-08-11T03:55:16+00:00

You did waste her time but that doesn’t mean there wasnt good times. You can have good experiences with someone and think it was never worth it to be with them in the first place.

Mickyfrickles · 2025-08-11T00:28:25+00:00

They lie to themselves and about us to ease their own guilt.

First-Sail8421 · 2025-08-10T19:24:03+00:00

She’s lying to you. If it was all that terrible, she would have left long before now. What you are experiencing now is her psychological projection onto you (ie, displacing her own feelings of failure and inferiority about herself onto you) and/or creating a revisionist history so that she can now ‘convince’ herself psychologically that the divorce is in her best interests, even though she knows deep within she is making a mistake or otherwise doesn’t have a legitimate basis for blowing up the family.

No_Pace2396 · 2025-08-10T18:30:48+00:00

You wasted your time on somebody who was never going to be happy. Feeling like you wasted her is still playing her game.

UnimportantOutcome67 · 2025-08-10T17:15:12+00:00

It's her problem, not yours.

You were lied to at the front end, you're being lied to now.

Go live your best life.

MiloGoesToPorridge · 2025-08-10T08:17:10+00:00

Nah mate.

She's choosing to hypnotise herself into feeling this way, it's all a subconscious attempt to justify to herself whatever her course of action is.

Women aren't evil, but they are vain and incredibly self-centred. So they absolve themselves of guilt in whichever way they can- which includes lying to themselves and friends/family about how shit went down.

All it takes for them to think you're 'emotionally disengaged' is to not vacuum the stairs the moment they click thier fingers.

Boglehead101 · 2025-08-10T05:53:12+00:00

All part of the narrative in the her effort to distort the truth or tell “her story”. Don’t pay it any attention.

They’re all at this, I was accused of making my wife live in fear, accused of coercion and financial abuse.

Only this week my wife told my son that she wasn’t happy for 12 years. She could have done me a favour and told me.

During said 12 year period we had amazing times, great Christmas’s, holidays and adventures with the children. Our sex life was good and we supported each other. Our iCloud photos, videos, WhatsApp’s and mails are testament to my view and I’m not being selective. Other couples killed each other in COVID, we were good. Others hit flash points due to stress when on holiday, we had great holidays. These timestamps are windows to my life because it can be hard to remember specifics.

I can’t understand my wife’s opinion either and her need to burn down what we had. Our children will be damaged by her campaign, their perception of the life that has passed will be destroyed.

It’s not worth dwelling on. I now see my wife as someone so rigid in her views and so detached from reality it’s a borderline mental illness. Maybe it is, only time will tell.

Jwoot1111 · 2025-08-10T05:46:26+00:00

Typical coping mechanism. I’ve had girls do this then show back up 5 years later trying to rekindle things.

Title	She made me feel like I wasted her time
Author	Melodic-Escape-1163
Upvotes	12
Comments	10
Date	August 9, 2025 6:43 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1mlwwoo/she_made_me_feel_like_i_wasted_her_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/she-made-me-feel-like-i-wasted-her-time.1559262 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559262

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