A few weeks ago I injured my nose which caused uncontrollable bleeding for a week, before I ended up in the emergency room and suffered blood loss. I've been having anemia symptoms for a while but I'm okay, but I had to set an appointment with an ENT to fix my nose to stop potential bleeding.

My wife got frustrated and told me to move the appointment back so I could get assessed for life insurance. I'm 41, but she pressed hard for life life Insurance before I get too old and so I didn't have any negative marks on my assessment. Fair enough...

I've been married five years to her this September dated for two before that and she made mention shortly after we got married that she would not be taking my last name. She hasn't really shown any interest either in making it official in my religion either.

She keeps pushing this life insurance thing like it's the highest priority even making me push this appointment back a month to get my nose fixed. I mentioned to her how it made me feel that my money is good enough from a life insurance policy but my name isn't good enough for you? (She still has her ex husband's last name) my religious marriage to you isn't good enough but my paycheck is? She just got angry at me and chewed me out, like I have no right to feel that way.

Our house flooded on Wednesday because of heavy rain and we're trying to mitigate damage. And with things drying out there's not much we can do right now. She asked me to come downstairs and look at something (pointless because it's still drying out) and I told her I would in a bit. I was still unwinding after a long day. I came down and looked and she blasted me for taking twenty minutes! I looked at damage and told her ways we could fix it (I work construction for a living.) But she kept focusing on the fact I took twenty minutes to get down there! Twenty minutes isn't going to change the state of our damaged property! She always does this...she always talks about how smart she is and then criticizes or finds things to critisize about me.

When I try to express to her that she beats me down like that she just tells me to stop! And that I can't talk to her that way that its gaslighting. Or she brings up my physical and sexual abuse as a child done to me by a woman and says I just hate women deep down. I finally told her she can figure the damage out herself, because I shouldn't have to work with somebody that treats me like that, as her boys came home from their dads. All they heard was Mr saying that.

She tells me this morning that her boys see that I'm in the wrong and that I'm a jerk, and I mentioned they only saw and heard the end of an argument and have no context.

I'm so tired guys. I'm so tired. I already have a difficult and abusive co-parenting relationship with my ex wife and at this point I just want to build a cabin in the deep woods of Montana and never come back. All I've wanted to do right is be a good husband and father and I can't even have that. My daughter was visibly distressed last night as she heard my wife saying those things to me and I'm sure she'll just go back to her mom's and complain about it. My whole life I've been abused by women. Sexually abused, physically abused and gaslit by my abusers saying it's my fault. And now I get it from the two people who were supposed to love me and have empathy for that. I just can't win. I'm so tired. I've been in survival mode my whole life and it's exhausting. I'm so tired and sad guys.