The narrative of love is biased against men

mrkpxx · 2025-10-21T20:12:05+00:00

These are the facts, but they are not new.

Fearless_Caramel_811 · 2025-10-21T21:31:13+00:00

This is why it's so hard dating women. In a relationship, it's only the woman's needs that need to be met, it's only the woman's feelings that are justified. It's structured to where the woman is supposed to receive all the love and adoration while the man drains himself chasing after her approval. There's this weird narrative where women naturally believe the man doesn't have feelings, the man doesn't require anything, and if he does require something in the relationship he's just selfish/insecure/controlling. But if the woman isn't getting what she wants, the man is also selfish, insecure, and controlling. Maybe the man would give a little more if the woman didn't constantly take, but this dynamic in relationships is never talked about. It's always "man bad and won't do what I want" and "dump him, he's a bad man".

A double standard I see a lot if where if a guy doesn't perform oral on a woman, people will rush to slander him, call him an a-hole, that he's just too weak or cowardly, that he isn't taking good enough care of the woman. But if it's a woman who doesn't want to perform oral on a man, the man gets the blame of being coercive, controlling, expecting her to do something she doesn't want to do, that he isn't owed anything special or extra. For the record I don't think anyone should be forced into a sex act they don't feel comfortable with. However whenever it's the man who doesn't feel comfortable with something in the bedroom, he will be slandered for it, while the woman will be comforted and supported for the same thing.

Relationships, especially modern ones, are designed to neglect the man's feelings, needs, comfort level. And there's really nothing you can do "right" as a man

rexthenonbean · 2025-10-22T01:10:10+00:00

This trope of women being the pursued and men being the pursuers is a huge cultural trend in the west. It's bad for both men and women. Men deserve to be adored, appreciated, chased, and receive just as much as they give. And women deserve to not have to feel chased, and like they can pursue and give. If you're interested in deeper answers to why our society is structured like this, it lays in feminist scholarship and discussion, honestly.

West-Word-604 · 2025-10-22T12:59:45+00:00

I feel you man

Strategos1610 · 2025-10-22T16:32:32+00:00

Fortunately this seems to be more of a cultural and environmental rather than biological thing so it does not have to be like this, and can be changed

Mobile_Yoghurt_2840 · 2025-10-22T15:41:47+00:00

I’ve never seen women GIVING into a man, such as romantic love letters, sex, asking out etc. it’s always that 1% that do, but NONE of the women I see ever ask men out!

carbondog54 · 2025-10-22T19:02:54+00:00

You’re not the only one who sees that. A lot of modern media and social content frame romance from the man’s side — he pursues, gives, protects, sacrifices — while she receives and reacts. It’s become the default script, and yeah, it can start to feel one-sided.

The truth is, real relationships are mutual. Love isn’t something one person performs while the other absorbs it; it’s supposed to go both ways — giving and being given to. But social media exaggerates extremes because they get clicks: “men should do this,” “women deserve that.” It’s not how healthy love actually works.

You’re right to question it. Wanting a partner who loves you back, not just loves being loved, isn’t cynical — it’s basic emotional self-respect. Look up Narcissism

Vivaelpueblo · 2025-10-22T19:58:41+00:00

"It just feels like so many women (not all) love being loved, not actually loving the man. I've always thought women were romantic, but on social media, they want it to be a one way thing.

Why do we normalize this. I simply would despise a woman who wants to be loved by me but doesn't love me. It feels so fake and dismissive of my need for love. It seems like the man is there to serve her. How would I even love her if that's the case."

This describes the vast majority of relationships I've been in. So fucking depressing, frankly.

Broad-Choice-5961 · 2025-10-22T03:00:32+00:00

Thank you feminism! Way back 100 years ago to love a women was ecstasy and the woman either immediately or over time loved her husband as long as the guy wasn't an abusive asshole. The women would contribute to the relationship and the world went round. Now fast forward women have been told everything is about them and not required to contribute at all if they don't want to yet require men to love them and give them things. Women have it all much of it at the expense of men!

Call_It_ · 2025-10-22T20:37:52+00:00

Marriages and romantic relationships often follow predictable pattern dynamics often seen in nature: A man develops deep affection for a woman and expresses his devotion through dedicated efforts. Initially, the woman accepts and reciprocates with some affection. Over time, however, she grows disinterested in his efforts, as they become boring and monotonous. As her engagement wanes, the man, perceiving a lack of a response from his wife, reduces his efforts. This shift leads to feelings of resentment in the woman, fostering tension and conflict. Ultimately, the deterioration of mutual understanding prompts the woman to bail and initiate divorce proceedings.

Rinse and repeat.

ThatOneCloneTrooper · 2025-10-23T07:57:15+00:00

I recently came out of a relationship, we spoke about our future for 2-3 days non-stop. I won't bore you with a 3000 word essay on what was said on both sides but the final point is:

I was willing to compromise on my life goals for the relationships goals. She said she would put her life goals before anything else and if that meant I had to wait for marriage and kids then she'd expect me as a loving partner to support that.

I understand where she's coming from. If you love someone you have to love and support their dreams too. But then like why are we in a relationship then? We can just be friends and I'll support you. I support my mates all the time with their own goals. The point of a relationship is that you see potential in marriage and a future.

And the cherry on top? Want to know what her "life goals" were? To own a BMW M4 and work as a psychologist. Like, all of those things can be done in a marriage.

Hefty-Rip-5397 · 2025-10-23T00:19:28+00:00

Men are not loved unconditionally. We grow out of such a thing almost right out of adolescence. Your ability to aquire "love" or more importantly, respect, directly correlates with what you can physically provide. And even then, with today's rampant sense of entitlement among the fairer sex, it may not even come close to being an equal exchange.

InvestmentFuzzy76 · 2025-10-23T15:41:05+00:00

Most women who watch this kind of mainstram media grow up to prioritize feeling desired by men over feeling desire themselves, doesn't make sense to visualize it the other way round (as it would imply every Woody Allen movie was made by a woman lmao) as you did. This is just as bad for women as it is for men.

CoralScorpion · 2025-10-28T02:06:41+00:00

It's because the man is trying to get her to trust him as part of the social contract: he provides the house and finances and she nurtures the home using the finances (correctly). The song and dance has been used for so long that people just know the surface of it or only want that aspect of it for fun.

MeasurementNice295 · 2025-10-22T19:33:10+00:00

Apparently the world would not survive holding men and women to the same standarts.

So be it, the world be damned.

adam-l · 2025-10-22T04:13:26+00:00

You are being very perceptive.

Unfortunately, what you describe is exactly what is the nature of love: something that man gives and woman takes. Man is the giver, woman is the taker.

This is not a "narrative ", it's not a "social construction". It harks back to our ancestral evolutionary pressures, when women gave birth and raised a child who carried 50% of another human being's DNA. That was her "giving" part, it was a biological one, for which man had to pay in material, emotional and all other ways that we call love. Note that going back to our evolutionary origins, there was no notion of "marriage", and a man could bail soon after impregnating her. That's why women developed a consuming, greedy strategy towards her man: get as much out of him now that he's here.

BernardofCorleone · 2025-10-22T15:28:56+00:00

I think we normalise it because it's normal. What's not normal is trying to make everything equal.

Title	The narrative of love is biased against men
Author	lazymud68
Upvotes	309
Comments	34
Date	October 21, 2025 8:08 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1ocnjlg/the_narrative_of_love_is_biased_against_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-narrative-of-love-is-biased-against-men.1564677 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564677

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