Went on an amazing date but he has 2 kids- can it work?

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-10-27T13:16:53+00:00

No. You're 25. You don't need to date single dads yet, but damn I commend you for being open-minded. There are some women here who could really benefit from that attitude. All that said, this isn't just about the kids. It never is. It's about the ex's drama. Maybe in a couple of years, this guy will be in a place to date, but if this is his relationship with his ex, he's not. You don't want to be in the middle of this. I also cannot stress this enough, but at 25, you don't have to.

OkCaptain1684 · 2025-10-27T22:28:57+00:00

No way, you are 25, you don’t need this drama, keep looking.

Stealthninja19 · 2025-10-27T10:05:53+00:00

He doesn’t sound that great if he’s picking up calls from his ex wife on your date and having bad conversations. He gives me bad vibes for already giving you a gift on the first date. There’s a reason they broke up, he had some sort of issue, and she had some sort of issue. Don’t live in delulu land. I think if you keep dating him you’ll eventually find out he’s manipulative. He sounds fairly codependent with his ex. His kids are super little, so it’ll be a long time before they leave the nest (long time with ex around). Go find someone else. There are plenty of men out there that will be good for you, it just takes time to find them.

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2025-10-27T14:45:41+00:00

I went on a couple dates with a divorced guy with two kids. The dates went pretty well except she called him about issues with his kids both times. The first time it was because his son had gotten in a fight at school, so totally reasonable that he would take the call, and we ended up cutting the date short so he could go handle things. Second date, she called him to figure out Memorial Day plans, and I was like 😑. He also talked about her negatively a lot which seemed unnecessary to me, but I figured they had recently split so things were still raw for him. Turns out they had split up four years prior, and this was still the situation. I did not see him again.

So, there’s a lot that can go wrong even if he is a great partner to you. There’s three whole other people who you are entering into a relationship with in addition to him. Unless you have a lot of baggage too and this is the best man you can get, there’s no reason to take this in at your age.

I’d actually recommend continuing to go on a few more dates to figure out how you feel about him and the whole situation. I’m not recommending you get into a whole relationship, but that you figure out your own reasons for continuing or not, and not just taking the word of strangers to make the decision for you.

Burnt_Donkey_9898 · 2025-10-27T17:49:55+00:00

At 25 this would have been a dealbreaker for me

Accomplished_Spell25 · 2025-10-27T23:03:17+00:00

Nope get a new man, you deserve a fresh start! This man screams baggage stress and problems.

YoyoPeaches · 2025-10-28T15:27:36+00:00

No. He’s looking for a mother. Please do not give up your life

Ill_Coffee_6821 · 2025-10-27T13:13:43+00:00

Info: You mention they live separately and have 50/50 custody. Are they divorced? Is the divorce final? Have you explicitly asked him about this? How “recently” did he have the courage to leave?

Based on your careful wording, I suspect the separation is relatively new and he is still married. Unless the papers have been signed (or the marriage is simply waiting for sign off from the judge but is otherwise signed by the parties, which is a grey area), he is a married man, and should not be considered serious potential until he’s no longer a married man.

Please clarify.

Czerymoja · 2025-10-27T09:30:17+00:00

I can’t see it, sorry. There will be rivarly between yours and his children. You’re only 25. You will find a good man without such baggage.

serene_brutality · 2025-10-27T14:42:06+00:00

The biggest red flag is still being entangled with the kids’ mother. You need to make sure that crap is indeed fully over. He’s always going to feel some kind of way about the mother of his children, as he should, but it has got to be fully over, any trace of in-love has to be gone.

Ideally nobody wants to date a parent if they’re not one themselves, and even if they are… That drama sucks! However, it’s really hard to find good people worth coupling with these days. Nobody’s going to be a perfect match or an exact fit, that’s fantasy. Everyone is going to have something you’ll need to compromise on, and kids aren’t the worst one.

Dating, at around 30 you’re going to find a lot of parents that are single. Good partners tend to find partners. These are the ones that want to couple and tried and failed. Not quite the catch emotionally of convincing someone who doesn’t want to couple to do so with you (more fantasy) but someone who wants to and likely will.

ArkNemesis00 · 2025-10-27T16:05:09+00:00

Has their divorce finalized?

I don't really see the harm in saying that you think he's lovely but would like to wait to get more serious/continue seeing each other until he and his ex-wife feel more settled into their new phase of life. Especially since they might not have gone through the holidays apart yet. A new girlfriend is probably going to make things worse with his ex and things sound complicated enough. Hit him up in 2026 if you still haven't met someone.

AutoModerator · 2025-10-27T09:14:26+00:00

Title: Went on an amazing date but he has 2 kids- can it work?

Author Antique_Treat_7002

Full text: I feel pretty deflated right now.

I’ve been out on several dates with guys, all of them accounted to nothing. The other day I had an amazing date with a guy. Btw he was 30 and I’m 25. He was literally everything that I’m looking for- kind, gentlemanly, polite, happy, success, tall, good looking, honest, open, mature. Conversation flowed very easily and he even got me a very personal gift based on something I’d been texting him about. He strikes me as a very high value man. He has invited me on another date already.

He let me know that he has 2 kids from his ex wife, aged 3 and 8. He told me that when he was younger , he wanted to split up with her, but he didn’t have the courage, then she fell pregnant. He told me it’s only been more recently that he’s finally found the courage to leave. He said they now live separately, have 50/50 custody of the children. He has them every other week and has told me he made an agreement with his ex to only introduce new partners after 6 months of dating. So initially I guess I’d only see him every other week. He told me his daughters are lovely girls.

He seemed still quite entangled with the ex wife, she called him several times during the date, it wasn’t particularly friendly in tone( they speak a mutual foreign language), and at one point she was calling time after time and he was repeatedly rejecting the call. He didn’t say bad stuff or was bitter to her but basically said they don’t see eye to eye and I think she used to nag him a lot. He did say he’d do whatever to help her as long as it wasn’t to his detriment, not sure if that was a red flag.

He also told me he’d like to have another kid or two with another woman , and I myself want kids.

I’ve looked up dating single dads and I can see it really isn’t recommended. I’ve read about the problems it’s can cause. I’m guessing that I’m probably going to get advice that it’s not worth it. I just feel so so disappointed as he really is such a lovely guy, I really liked him. Any input is appreciated

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AphroditesNightie · 2025-10-30T01:59:50+00:00

I’m a stepdaughter to two wonderful stepparents! My parents divorced when I was about 5. They were high school sweethearts who married and had me a few years later. They were just too young and grew apart. My stepmom came into my father’s life when I was about 8. They married a few years later and had two children together. My mother also remarried and had more children. Everything worked out fine! My parents did have to speak sometimes to co-parent me, but after I turned 18 they rarely spoke. My stepmom and I have a great relationship! I love all my half siblings too. I always say that I was blessed with four parents instead of two! It certainly can work out! I’m almost 50 years old now, and my mother has passed away, but I am still close with my remaining three parents. My Dad and stepmom have been married for almost 40 years now! 🥰 And BTW, neither of my stepparents had been married before, or had any children. I’m so glad that I was not a dealbreaker for them at the time!

ATrueLady · 2025-10-30T03:47:02+00:00

ex wife

called him several times during the date

2 kids

you'r 25 - prime dating material.

take a pass.

Title	Went on an amazing date but he has 2 kids- can it work?
Author	Antique_Treat_7002
Upvotes	8
Comments	22
Date	October 27, 2025 9:14 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1oh9nh0/went_on_an_amazing_date_but_he_has_2_kids_can_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/went-on-an-amazing-date-but-he-has-2-kids-can-it.1565114 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565114

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