This weekend I saw a girl for the fifth or sixth time. We’ve been seeing each other for almost two months and we’re doing a lot of stuff together. Restaurants, long walks, obviously sex, planning little things for the week. She came over and we spent almost the whole day together.

What’s funny is that we’re not “official.” No titles. But we’re doing all the boyfriend-girlfriend things anyway. The energy, the plans, the closeness… it’s all there. I genuinely feel connected to her.

Now think about this. How hard would it be for me to say, “hey, do you wanna be my girlfriend?” or “do you want to be exclusive?” 

Honestly? Not hard at all. I could do it today. She’d probably say yes because the relationship basically already exists in many things we’re doing together.

Compare that to how most other people try to enter a relationship. Most people date for a tiny bit, barely do anything together, and then they force the label. They rush the “what are we?” talk. And it pushes the girl away because it feels needy and pressured.

It’s like a workplace promotion. It’s way easier to get promoted once you’re already doing the job. You assume the responsibilities first, then the title follows naturally. Compare that to someone begging for a promotion before proving anything.

Same here. When you have real shared experiences and genuine connection first, the label becomes obvious. It becomes the natural next step instead of something you push.

So focus more on having genuine fun experiences with the girl you are dating rather than forcing arbitrary labels. They will come as a natural by product in the months after if the connection stays strong and you feel like you have no desire to see other people at that point.

Also another thing on this topic.

A lot of guys see what I do and say “oh he’s just chasing empty sex.” No. That’s not what I’m doing at all. Just because I don’t lock myself into a label or exclusivity after a few months of dating doesn’t mean I’m out here collecting meaningless hookups. I want meaningful connections, good conversations and sensual moments.

But the thing is that you can have all of those things without having any labels attached to it. If I proposed to this girl and she became my wife overnight, it wouldn't actually change anything about the quality of our relationship (if anything it would add unnecessary pressure for us specifically).

And yes, I met this girl on the street. You can build something real from a street approach, or coffee shop, or wherever. It doesn’t have to be shallow. It becomes meaningful depending on what you bring into it.