Really struggling to find out how to get girls to like me

jsbach123 · 2025-12-19T10:02:13+00:00

Remember: many friends will say there's nothing wrong with you because they don't wanna hurt your feelings. They're just doing what friends do.

I would ask a few of your true blue besties, especially those who are good with women, to be TOTALLY HONEST and list some qualities you can improve upon. Tell them that protecting your feelings will actually hurt you. Don't let them get away with saying "nothing's wrong".

Prepare to feel a bit hurt because they'll likely say things that'll challenge how you see yourself.

I would ask friends who don't know each other. Because if both say the same thing, there might be something true.

HomelessMilkman · 2025-12-19T08:35:31+00:00

Charisma is everything. Status/confidence, is communicated by 'how free and liberated your expression is'.

The vast majority of guys feel uncomfortable, stifled, are constantly looking around for reassurance to feel comfortable; it's the antithesis to feeling 'liberated' because you won't do or say anything because you're too busy thinking about your own interests. Or, if you do act, you'll be looking around during and after the fact, and it'll come across half-assed, meek, uncomfortable.

Most guys get success by accident. They act freely in one context because they feel they have permission (unrelated to dating), get away with it, develop some situational entitlement (status), communicate confidence, get attraction; "What? Suzie likes me? Hey Suzie, let's go out together". Outside the context they look 'normal' and you'll wonder "How?" but rest assured that it's the same thing, always is.

Women have to see you have status. They have to see you express yourself in an unrestrained, confident, enthusiastic, fun, manner. The feedback speaks for itself. Fuck being 'liked', you want respect. Having the understanding over time of what you're 'allowed' to get away with and conforming to that small boundary isn't communicating status, it's adhering to the low status box people put you in.

You can't adopt new behaviours and not look around for people to reaffirm it, that's the point. Frankly, 'trying' isn't good enough; it's only when you express yourself openly, have banter, and don't have to look if the 'alpha male' is going to crack you in the back of the head with a rock, is when you actually communicate that you feel 'safe', 'comfortable', 'entitled', you communicate status and get attraction.

OpinionThink481 · 2025-12-19T15:06:23+00:00

Because you are not sexualising and creating sexual tension. You are trying to be nice and earn a boyfriend role instead.

You are trying not to creep out girls, you are making sure that girls see how great you’d be as a boyfriend, as someone who is there for her, as someone who treys her well…, instead of doing what actually creates a spark which is to turn them on, aka Building erotic tension.

You are praising woman, complimenting them and making them feel good about themselves, instead of teasing and creating playful conflict through provocations and getting underneath their skin.

So you are just boring because you simply haven’t learned that attraction is about creating sexual tensión through playful conflict and sexual insinuations.

You keep prioritizing comfort and romanticism over sex and list and that’s why you get friendzoned and will continue to get friendzoned until you start creating playful conflict and making things sexually tense.

You need to arouse women, not trying to earn a boyfriend role. You need to make things sexual, have sex and kiss before you even think of being her boyfriend.

You need to stop acting platonic with girls, a girl around you needs to feel like you want to fuck her right there on the spot. And right now you are not making them feel that.

Budget-Kick822 · 2025-12-19T09:49:46+00:00

I hate using PUA language but for exhibition purposes I'll make an exception. You're probably building to much comfort and not enough intent.

That being said too maybe you just can't identify the girls who are fixated on you. If you are as good as you say you are then you probably aren't observant enough.

When I was younger I used to get the I can't believe you're single line. Most girls would set me up with their friends and even now if I meet girls who have boyfriends they will try and match me with their friends.

You said you're not bothered but you should be. I mean you're not late but you need to figure this out pronto.

You need to get feedback not from people you know but acquaintances. I think you need to become more observant and look out for your potential mates in day to day life.

nerority · 2025-12-19T06:34:51+00:00

I don't even know how to respond to this. I had the choice to be introverted by default. Or take action. Ages 16-27 I went on probably 1000 dates with >50 women, dating 10 of them over 6-7 years. Got rejected plenty between good ones. Sounds like you are boring af and don't get out tbh. Spend too much time staring at yourself in the mirror thinking. Dating apps as well make this zero excuse to have no dates at 27 if you are what you describe yourself as.

jackthehat6 · 2025-12-19T13:43:30+00:00

you can't MAKE girls like you/attracted to you, unfortunately. (people have tested 'game' adn pushpull etc to death at this point with it going mainstream, and we still have more sexless guys than ever lol)

Just gotta keep playing the numbers and approaching/meetings girls until you find the ones who do. And trust me. they're out there!

throwawayofc1112 · 2025-12-19T14:13:47+00:00

It really comes to down to your game, it sounds like you’re pretty solid on paper but without seeing you talking to girls irl it’s hard to identify what the issue is. And yeah not drinking and smoking could play a role, not encouraging those things but the guys who do that often have an easier time because they’re being social. Perhaps try talking to girls at a bar without alcohol? Could be worth a shot

ResentCourtship2099 · 2025-12-20T16:36:13+00:00

Yep another reminder I'm sure this industry will only get bigger

Halo_Sports · 2025-12-24T02:39:14+00:00

Once you understand once you approach a girl that she’s knows what you want, (getting some coochie), Then your in game to find the one or get some coochie. Guess what. She don’t gaf about what you want, she only gaf about what SHE wants. Formula to get women?

Fulfilling her wants=getting your wants

Want to fulfill a simple want that all women crave?

Make her feel important.

Think I’m lying?

Look at all the men who have a wife or girlfriend. Right now they have, at some point in their relationship, made their women feel important. If your around those couples for a period of time, you will tell that he makes her feel important in many ways. That’s why she stays around. Once she feels she’s not important anymore, she leaves. And finds someone else that will make her feel important in their life. Aka divorce, aka cheating (another guy made her feel important in the moment). You got to make her feel more important than any woman in the world, then you will have her on a leach, and she will never get enough of it.

You’ll thank me later

philong1211 · 2025-12-19T06:08:14+00:00

Maybe you are too good for most girls?

professionalfumblr · 2025-12-19T13:21:05+00:00

Stop trying so hard to get women (and people in general) to like you. Become indifferent to outcome.

Title	Really struggling to find out how to get girls to like me
Author	TuneSoft7119
Upvotes	24
Comments	49
Date	December 19, 2025 5:52 AM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1pqdh9e/really_struggling_to_find_out_how_to_get_girls_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/really-struggling-to-find-out-how-to-get-girls-to.1569215 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569215

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