How do you see the traditional wife role—toughest job or easiest path?

ArkNemesis00 · 2025-12-28T07:11:42+00:00

Honestly for me it's been fairly easy. I mean, there are some growing pains and you have to recalibrate from time to time if things aren't working. But yeah, I think my role is significantly easier than my husband's and I have no desire to do what he does.

I think being a SAHP is more difficult than being single (no kids) and working a fair bit of the different full-time jobs though. I think SAHPs deserve respect for the work they do, but I don't think it's the toughest job out there by any stretch.

Could just be that I'm well-suited for the role and have a great family though.

bugga2024 · 2025-12-28T12:48:48+00:00

There's a few things I would factor in, disposable income, number and age of children and health status of children. With my one child, it's not hard. I clean during his nap time and I only have him to worry about, but if I had 6 kids, it's a different story. I think it's also as hard as you make it. If you expect perfection from yourself, it's near impossible.

twatwater · 2025-12-28T05:30:57+00:00

It’s entirely dependent on how much disposable income you have.

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-12-28T16:11:32+00:00

I really think these two things are just apples and oranges, completely dependent on the person. I've had a great career I loved, where I've been the manager, led the meetings, gone to the conferences. Now I have five under five and stay home. The first was hard in different ways. It was exhausting managing the feelings and emotions of grown adults. It was draining to pretend to care about the latest management model. Catering to the whims of management and cheerleading dumb ideas wore me out. Then you get down to the smaller issues, like meetings that should have been emails, emails that shouldn't have happened at all, politicak posturing in the work place. I enjoyed the challenge of the job, but it definitely had its downsides and I can't imagine doing it and raising five kids.

All that said, raising five kids is only manageable for me because I have a very hands-on husband and I'm extremely organized. I have friends who stay home with fewer children without these perks and it's really hard on them. I also like to clean, organize, strategize, plan the birthday parties, budget the holidays. I enjoy these things and find them fulfilling. A woman who doesn't is going to have a very different experience. So, overall, I'd say different women are going to find different jobs harder. For me, being a working mom sounds awful. For another woman, having to manage a home all day sounds awful.

pink-glow-dreamer · 2025-12-29T00:46:57+00:00

I went from working full time + side hustle to being a SAHM and honestly I love being at home so much more. I have never been a working parent as I've been home since she was born so it's hard to compare to that but I would not trade my current lifestyle for the world. It's important to note we have enough disposable income to travel, thrift, make silly purchases, go out to eat, buy quality groceries, etc. All this is extremely relevant to my levels of satisfaction with a "stay at home" lifestyle.

Adorable-Bee-850 · 2025-12-28T16:41:17+00:00

It depends. How many children do you have, how supportive is your husband, how rich is the household, how big is the house, what are some house values that may make housewifing harder (no microwave, only doing home cooked meals, homeschooling), do you have a garden you need to tend, are the children well trained or do they leave messes everywhere? Etc.

When I was married, I had one step son and my husband, and he was an overall clean man. I trained my step son to clean his things before bedtime and not leave his toys all over the house also. For me, I mostly didn't have to do much of anything besides maintenance cleanings, laundry, and cleaning up after cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The most exhausting and worst part for me was homeschooling. No matter what proven parenting techniques I used, I guess I just was not an entertaining teacher so my step son would get frequently frustrated and do anything to stall his work.

But overall, I would say I was more or less doing part-time work and had a lot of free time. If you have a rich family in the city who's happy to eat out often, then that's a lot less work than being practically a farmer in the country with several (5-10) kids.

Regardless, it is real work. I've since found an office job that even though I did full-time, I would consider much easier than the work I did around the house when I was married.

Traditional-Sherbet2 · 2025-12-28T18:13:23+00:00

I think all work deserves respect, regardless of where it happens.

If one partner stays home, that does not make them a live-in housekeeper. It means their labor at home deserves the same respect as paid work outside the home. Basic respect still applies. If you live in a house and make a mess, you clean it up yourself. That is not negotiable.

The real problem is when people turn everything into a competition about who is more tired or who does more. That mindset ruins both relationships and mutual respect.

nnnmmmh · 2025-12-29T01:34:01+00:00

It’s a catch 22. If it’s easy, you’re accused of being lazy or selfish. If it’s too hard, you’re a slave to your family and will probably end up discarded for a 22 year old. Both are highly exaggerated outliers.

You could make this job as difficult as you want it to be. Especially if you have kids. Deciding to keep them at home, homeschool, be screen free, cloth diaper, cook all meals from scratch, garden, line dry your clothes, knit socks for the whole family for Christmas, etc.

You could also do the inverse. You could be in between. It’s really a personal journey.

There comes a point where you have to decide to stop listening to other people’s opinions about your life. Are you fulfilled? Is your family healthy and thriving? Do you look at the future with optimism and hope?

schmeowy · 2025-12-28T06:24:58+00:00

I did it in my 20s. You slowly lose your identity and become mum, wife and caretaker. Your needs are always last. Your husband gets to build a career and provide for you. You don't make money so no matter what, there's always a power imbalance. Some people are fine with that. I've never regretted spending my 20s as a stay at home mum and wife. But now at 36, wanting a career has been a slow slog of studying and discovering who I am. I did things in reverse I guess.

Jenneapolis · 2025-12-28T16:11:49+00:00

I was a nanny for 4 years (starting shifts in the early hours in the morning) to several wealthy families and now have a career. While I know being a nanny has FAR less demands than a stay home mom (who is 24/7 on, dealing with her children overnight, trying to meet the needs of her husband, etc), here’s my take on these paths from semi-living them:

Being a mom is physically demanding in a way I don’t think a lot of people understand. The constant carrying of babies, fighting through your fatigue, constantly being on your feet and on the go. Sure they are downtimes like naps and this will get better as they get older but most of our careers as women are not as physically demanding as childrearing in the early years is. This in itself makes being a mother hard work.
The upside is being a mother is partially fun. My best memories in my life are those where I was with the kids, even though it was so hard at the time. You get to do fun activities, you get to make your schedule, you get to spend a lot of time outside, you get to play with toys - these are in general fun things to do compared to a career where you could be in sales or something where you’re constantly rejected and doing something that is completely meaningless, being yelled at by your boss, or whatever. The meaning derived from raising kids is incredible.
As a SAHM you really do start to miss adult time. Even when you go to library story times or other events with other moms, it’s all about the kids, and you do crave some moments where you feel like it’s not about the kids and it’s just about adults. You really do want to just be able to have a conversation about something adult. I was missing some mental, intellectual and social stimulation that I am now getting in my career.
Building a career is not all sunshine and rainbows. Once you become successful, it’s generally smooth sailing, so my job is pretty cushy now where I can make my own schedule, work from home, etc but the building part was extremely stressful. I remember crying in my car after working all day as a nanny and then trying to go to school at night, I remembered the many rejections from companies trying to get hired, I remember the unpaid internships, I remember the horrible feeling of making mistakes and not knowing what you’re doing. Building it up takes years and years, if not decades, until you get to the smooth sailing part and this part is really brutal and not fun. Not to mention the amount of money that you need to invest to get an education that will put you in debt for decades to come.
I personally couldn’t be a stay home mom because I just want to make my own money. I can understand why others wouldn’t have that concern, but for me based on how I was raised and my independent streak, I want my own money so for me this was THE deciding factor along with the fact that I spent years building a career and now it’s pretty easy, even if I had children now, my career is cushy enough that I could still have enough flexibility to dedicate a lot of time to my child.

Overall though, I think being a SAHM would be pretty rewarding if you have the personality where you’re more introverted and are OK staying at home and while it’s hard physically, it gets much easier as they age. I would not call it the hardest job in the world though, it’s not harder than being in the military for example. It is a difficult job but it’s rewarding so in that way, I wouldn’t call it the hardest job in the world because you’re giving to your own family versus another job where you are giving to someone else.

I feel like I rambled a lot but these are just my takes from doing both of these jobs and sort of living both of these paths.

jiskistasta · 2025-12-29T07:28:58+00:00

I think there's two things people mean when they say it's easy or hard - the actual workload and how well you'd engage with it. The actual, objective workload of taking care of the house and raising children is kind of in the middle overall, obviously changing based on age & number of kids and lifestyle but the average SAHM workload is moderate. Definitely more than some jobs and definitely less than others. I've always worked in the same field personally but my husband has worked many different jobs and the one that was hardest for him was the one that had the objectively lightest and easiest workload because it didn't suit him. His current job has objectively the heaviest workload he's ever had and he loves it because the work meshes well with how his brain works. When I was a SAHM I loved it and thrived but others would tear their hair out. I also think a lot of people who say it's easy don't really understand how much goes into childrearing, and if you're not well suited for that kind of work it just gets so much harder as with anything.

Thatoneshortgoblin · 2025-12-30T09:36:22+00:00

Honestly it all depends on your situation

Clipzy22 · 2025-12-31T03:34:04+00:00

Neither.

It's not easy, but it's rewarding.

cate92 · 2026-01-01T01:36:43+00:00

It’s hard if you are stuck in a “hustle” mentality. If as a woman you are at ease in your feminine and don’t have the masculine need to compete or be independent then I think motherhood/wifedom is the most fulfilling, natural thing a woman can achieve in this lifetime. Sadly we live in a world that promotes competition and that’s not just among women but also against men, and all it has done is make us incredibly miserable as individuals and in relationships. Best thing you can do is find a man, love him and block out the world telling you that he is your competition.

AutoModerator · 2025-12-28T05:22:05+00:00

Title: How do you see the traditional wife role—toughest job or easiest path?

Author Swimming_Mention_873

Full text: I’ve noticed something about how people talk about traditional homemaking roles, like stay at home moms or traditional wives. From what I’ve seen the discussion often goes in two opposite directions.

The tough job perspective: Some people say being a homemaker is one of the hardest jobs anyone can do. Managing a household, raising kids, cleaning, cooking, and taking care of family is mentally and physically demanding. According to this view stay at home parents deserve a lot of respect and recognition for their work and it's nothing compared to working outside.

The easy and natural perspective: Others often from more conservative viewpoints say that homemaking is natural for women and actually easy. They argue that women are designed for this role and will find fulfillment in it so a career outside the home is not necessary and homemaking is the easiest thing they can do.

I’ve also noticed that people shame stay at home moms in both directions:

Some say it’s so easy that they just stay at home and do nothing, implying it’s not real work.

Others say staying at home is too hard, mentioning cleaning, taking care of kids, and working for the family as extremely tough, and that they would rather work outside because that seems easier.

I’m just sharing what I’ve observed. I’m curious to know what you think. Do you see being a stay at home parent as the hardest job, the easiest, or somewhere in between? How do your own experiences fit into this discussion?

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GivMeLiberty · 2025-12-29T07:23:08+00:00

My opinion is rooted mostly in speculation as an unmarried man. But I think, just as there are difficult jobs that men are better equipped for than women such that it might even be easy for a man while being difficult for a woman, there are jobs that are the inverse of that. Homemaking being one of them.

I think the overall perception of the traditional wife role is spit into two hemispheres, one that fixates on “stay-at-home” and stigmatizes the role and one that fixates on the duties that come with that role and on the fulfillment that entering that role likely offers those women and thus respects it. I’m of the latter.

I understand any sentiments someone might have to a stay-at-home wife in a forever-childless marriage. I think justifying any sort of negative sentiments there is heavily dependent on the man’s preferences. More specifically, women exploiting men is disappointing, but I’m not saying that’s the nature of every traditional-presenting relationship. If a certain relationship works for two individuals then great for them.

Lastly, returning to the assumption that a “traditional” wife bears and raises children, I think anyone who calls it the easy path needs to become aware of the people in their lives’ relationships with their mothers. I don’t need to be a married man to make the claim that there is a direct relationship between the behaviors I observe in any man or woman and their relationship with their mothers. It shows in every child’s behavior once they’ve matured whether they had a mother who either respected their role as a tough job or who viewed their role as the easy path.

RosewoodHaven · 2026-01-17T11:29:48+00:00

Bonjour ! Je m’appelle Eulalie et je réalise un travail de recherche en sociologie sur les modes de vie centrés sur la maison, le couple et la famille. Je suis très intéressée par les expériences de femmes qui partagent leur quotidien en ligne.

Si vous acceptez un petit entretien par téléphone (anonyme et confidentiel), vous pouvez me contacter ici : [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

Merci beaucoup pour votre temps !

That_Difference_7638 · 2025-12-28T11:03:25+00:00

I think it heavily depends on the husband’s income, job, and wife’s attraction to husband. If he’s a generous and manly 10/10 Adonis with 6 figure income and a châlet in Switzerland, and they laugh and joke together, she will have an easy life.

If he‘s a balding soyboy slowpoke who barely makes ends meet and she needs to budget tightly, she’ll build up resentment.

Well these are extremes and most will be somewhere in between, but you catch my drift. The job really matters too I found. Compare the world traveling niche entrepreneur with a steady office worker. The entrepreneur might be broke sometimes, stress will be high, but he’ll keep her excited. The steady office worker might have better income/ benefits/ retirement plans, but be of lower perceived status and she’ll develop a midlife crisis where she’ll think she „missed out in life“ (Seen it many times). MDs and lawyers are often in the office worker category, as they are bound to a rather static life. Food vloggers and advisors/ consultants are in the entrepreneurial category.

Also I found many women go lukewarm. They do a little housework and child rearing, but have a part time job or side hustle. Personally I think this is the worst path for the precious baby and toddler years especially, but many do it like so.

2025-12-28T05:27:39+00:00

Toughest job

Title	How do you see the traditional wife role—toughest job or easiest path?
Author	Swimming_Mention_873
Upvotes	12
Comments	20
Date	December 28, 2025 5:22 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1pxj6ue/how_do_you_see_the_traditional_wife_roletoughest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-you-see-the-traditional-wife-roletoughest.1569850 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569850

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