It looks like my relationship is over. We’ve been together 13 years, own a house together, and I’ve raised her son as my own. He’s 16 now, sees me as his dad and has unofficially taken my surname.

My partner says her feelings have changed and she now only sees me as a friend. She’s told me she’s given up hope that the relationship can be repaired. I struggled to accept this at first but I’m coming to terms with it.

About a month ago, I partially moved out and started staying at my parent’s house 50-50 to give her space. Over Christmas we still spent time together as a family, and when we’re together things feel normal, laughing, cooking, watching TV, walking the dog etc. she often shows moments of softness or makes small bids for connection.

However, last weekend she told me the current arrangement wasn’t working for her. She felt pressured, backed into a corner and like I hadn’t taken her desire to split seriously. Since then, I’ve pulled back emotionally, moved into my parent’s full time, told her I accept the split, and stopped any attempts at reconciliation.

Financially, I earn a decent wage and have continued supporting her. We’re UK-based and the house still has a Help to Buy loan, which hasn’t even been looked into yet. She can’t afford the mortgage on her own and is hoping for a council house, she’s been on the waiting list for two years and would likely need to be homeless before that’s an option. She hasn’t made any real steps toward moving out or selling but I appreciate this is going to be really hard for her. She has a low income, a child and no help outside of me.

I’m now completely stuck in limbo, living at my parent’s house full time, which isn’t sustainable.

Everyone around me is telling me to move on. I understand that holding onto hope keeps me stuck, but I can’t shake the feeling that now I’ve backed off and removed pressure, she may be having reservations, or at least finally some space to breathe and think clearly.

On the other hand, I’m also very aware she could simply be relying on me for emotional and financial support while she prepares to move on, which leaves me exposed.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I’d really appreciate perspectives on how to move forward whilst preserving my sanity.