33 divorced dad of 3. Need advice.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-01-30T22:38:02+00:00

Life is hard because you do hard things, or life is hard because you don't. Divorce is a hell of a motivator to do hard things in life. First thing I did when I divorced my wife, I switched jobs. Five years later I had increased my salary 50%. You need some serious self reflection and introspection to figure out what you want out of life. Then you figure out how to achieve it. Right now it's obvious you don't have a plan. No one can tell you what to do. It's personal calculus only you can solve for. You need to realize that no one is coming to save you. The day I figured that out, it was liberating.

DntCareBears · 2026-01-26T19:19:53+00:00

You don’t. You focus on renting a room and seeing your kids at a neutral location (no overnights). The best I can tell you is that maybe see if you can move in with family and pay them rent for a room. I say this because your own family may be more open to allowing you to bring your kids over vs a room rental.

You also need to focus on you and skilling up. Having a girlfriend and playing to her needs is going to keep you in a financially negative state. You need your time 100% and no time for a girlfriend. Focus on you, build g and your kids. Putting your girlfriends needs first and playing the role of boyfriend is going to cost you years in life. Image if she gets pregnant too!

Get out, get a room and build. It’s not easy, but you’ll be a lot closer than you are now with all that noise in the house.

OldGuyNewTrix · 2026-01-26T15:56:30+00:00

You have to make more than $15 an hour x40 hours a week. Whether it’s a new job, work OT if available, side gigs, PT jobs. Very few places you can live off $600 a week, and support a family.

Gattsama · 2026-01-26T13:38:55+00:00

We don't know all the details but here is some general advice:

the girlfriend and her family are NOT your concern.
you need to move into your own place, ile even if renting a room from a 3rd party.
you need additional income. Uber/Lyft, delivery, Amazon Warehouse, etc. It doesn't matter. Move to a new geographic location if needed (while staying close as possible to kids or accept the commute).
you will NEVER find peace under your current living situation. IF you are able to use it as a place to just sleep and save, that's one thing. But the g/f and her extended group will want something from you. And you both don't have it to give and need to focus solely on yourself.
if not already cut ALL unnecessary expenses: eating out (of any kind), steaming services, movies, etc. And lower all possible expenses: cell phone and food being the biggest.

Again this might not be you, but it's a start. I am not going to lie or mislead you here. Life is going to suck and be hard, likey for sometime based on your post. You need to accept that, plan out how much you need for the next step in life, and then do anything and everything possible that moves you towards that.

Anything else, needs to be cut, immediately. If something is not helping you move towards the next step in your process, drop it, immediately.

Your options are super limited because of your current situation. You want to create a new situation with better options. That's not a 1 step process, you need to do several steps and it will take a few years to get there.

A man needs to be fit: physically fit, emotionally fit, mentally fit, and financially fit. Stop and write down the life you want to live. Make a plan for what is needed to achieve that. Stop everything else that is not part of that plan.

Good luck brother, you can do this..

splitbrainhack · 2026-01-26T09:58:59+00:00

you are not seeing things straight as you are burn out stressed beyond healthy limits. as other comments said you need an extra job but more important than that is that you drop your white palladin armor and leave the hell you just dragged yourself into. you are not saving anyone if you dont save yourself. take some alone time to stabilize YOUR life ,not your gf or her kids entourage life. then have some peace to get a birdseye view of your current context, your next step is a safe place for yourself and YOUR kids. after that is sorted you are now back to level 0 but with a lot of potential to be happy and correct your course. only here assess if your current gf is worth your life energy... be happy and kind to each other but please take care of yourself

According-Designer15 · 2026-01-26T09:35:50+00:00

you're in a tough spot but let me give you some clarity on what you're actually dealing with here. You're living in someone else's house, under someone else's rules, and your kids can't even visit you. That's not just stressful, that's unsustainable. You're trapped by circumstances that are keeping you from your children, and that needs to change.

North-Permit-1021 · 2026-01-26T03:55:49+00:00

Thats tough man, I guess even a small apartment would do imo

Fantastic-Demand-171 · 2026-01-26T02:15:27+00:00

You being with another man’s baby mama is like playing another man’s saved game.

Fantastic-Demand-171 · 2026-01-26T02:14:53+00:00

Why are you a simp being with another man’s baby mama?

1millionBURNINGsuns · 2026-01-26T01:34:20+00:00

For a time brother you’re going to need a second job. For a time. There’s no way around it. You need more money.

Move to a place where you have the freedom to see your kids too. Even if it’s a step down. Your kids are more important than any girlfriend.

superman_410 · 2026-01-25T23:25:48+00:00

Do you have your own family around? Or anyone else you can live with?

Title	33 divorced dad of 3. Need advice.
Author	shadeybrady
Upvotes	12
Comments	18
Date	January 25, 2026 11:05 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qmym3s/33_divorced_dad_of_3_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/33-divorced-dad-of-3-need-advice.1571961 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571961

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