How to deal with feelings for a fwb?

Kroddy1134 · 2026-02-23T19:48:52+00:00

You tell them how you feel and ask them to be your girlfriend. Then go through the highs and lows of being in a relationship and eventually you learn their patterns and they learn yours. Love kicks and and shit feels amazing and warm, with the occasional conflict :)

Back2theCouture · 2026-02-23T23:39:48+00:00

You should learn about metacognition (look it up if you wanna know more).

It’s basically to learn why and how you think and feel certain ways. For example; why you fall in love, why you prefer this thing over that thing, why you caught feelings. It’s like splitting you from yourself, or observing yourself from outside your body.

For me once I do that, it becomes much easier to help myself. Instead of doing sporadic things in order to prevent things from getting worse which most of the time only make them worse. Like in your situation, you said you wonder if you should stop seeing her. Even tho it might work, but it’s only surface level. It barely touches the root cause.

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-02-23T20:02:35+00:00

You just caught feelings. I get it, happens to the best of us. The thign is you two are good friends who are fucking, so at first it may seem like nobody cares but then it's almost like you two are dating. You try less at clubs because you get comfortable with the idea that you are a text away from having sex wiht someone you enjoy having sex with, why risk it with a girl you may not even enjoy.

So it's easy to catch feeligns. Ive done it before but my experience, im a proponent that FWBs should not be people you are in a similar group with or someone you hangout with or talk to regularly outside the agreement. I got torched for saying this in a dating subreddit but the thing it the line of if you are a couple or not is skewered, you practically are but with no lablel. But you are getting to know someone that you are having sex iwth, that's basically a realtionship. That's why FWB end up that way. For me i think the best way to do FWB is to do it with people that arent part of your core group, people you basically only see when it;'s time to do the benefits. Maybe once in a while you guys can go out on a FWB date/group hangout because you guys just need a night of grinding on each other before doing the deed and dont really want to put much effort in meeting new people. But it should be with people that if it ended today, your life or core social circle wouldnt change much. I get the argument that it's FRIENDS with benefits but that doesnt mean the friend part should be taken so literal.

I'm also setting her up with a lesbian friend of mine so maybe it's insecurity as a man. I don't care when it's another girl she's seeing.

This is normal. Just the other day, my GF had a friend she had some time she hadnt hung out with. The friend got really drunk and so did my GF and the girl starts kissing my GF. My GF and i have discussed same-sex kissing. Basically we both agreed that we wouldnt care. Im not kissing dudes so really i told her "i doubt ill ever kiss a man, so really the question is am i ok with you kissing a girl?" and tbh i ddint care at all. There was a moment where i was like "should i care?" but then i realized i just didnt care at all. Maybe it's me being a hypocrite or my guy brain but it was nice to see and my guy brain was like "3-some?!?" but obviosuly i did not even say anything or consider because first, it's a female friend she has a love-hate relationship with. I know if we had a 3-some it would cause so much drama. Second the girl has a BF and has dated a friend of mine so for me i try to avoid friends exes because of potential drama it could cause.

Entrepreneurialcat · 2026-02-24T03:45:56+00:00

I’m in your same situation.. attached to my FWB but don’t want to date her long term. I just want her to love me the same way I love her.. she seems not to have caught as much feelings as me though, she’s also bisexual haha

onefinecheeto · 2026-02-24T07:09:19+00:00

short answer is get more hobbies! be so busy that you don't even think about her, plus it will enrich your life

Title	How to deal with feelings for a fwb?
Author	CraPixelArt
Upvotes	11
Comments	16
Date	February 23, 2026 7:44 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rcro33/how_to_deal_with_feelings_for_a_fwb/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-deal-with-feelings-for-a-fwb.1574111 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574111

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