When women complain about being invisible why does it seem like its mostly white women?

KindlyPizza · 2026-02-26T10:20:23+00:00

Well, I am an Asian woman who grew up in Asia and then moved around some parts of Asia as an adult before settling down in the West. This is just my personal opinion.

This will sound ironic, but I have come into conclusion that the Western world (where most white people live) seem to treat women very badly compared to the East.

I know, I know... You might want to say, "but there are more rapes in [insert some countries in Asia or Africa here]", etc" but rape also happened in the West a lot and many of them were treated subtly as byproduct of the sexual liberation. As in 'she ought to know' kind of thing.

In Asia and Africa, matriarch is a real thing. Women have roles from the day they were born to the day they died of old age. Men too btw, but since I am a woman, I am going to speak about women.

When women got older, their status in the community got more and more elevated. As the matriarch and then elderly matriarch. As a woman you are never invisible socially (romantically yes, if you think about the words use of 'leftover women'), as a woman you are the main fabrics of the 'village'. You are a very important part of society.

Meanwhile the Western world is less attuned to those kind of philosophy (not saying that Western individualism does not have its massive benefits either).

The reality is my country does not even have word for 'gold digger'. The phrase of 'gold digger', 'hitting the wall', 'fake rape accusations', etc. All those I heard only after moving to the West. What does it say about Western society and their treatment of women then?

I am working in the West now but will retire with my husband in the East and I told every white sisters I am close to, to think about retiring in places where older women are being seen as matriarchs and society pillars instead of being made to feel wrong.

Queen_Maxima · 2026-02-26T10:08:59+00:00

Why use YouTube as a source?

PurpleAriadne · 2026-02-26T10:30:31+00:00

Older white women are thrown away. We do not have a matriarchal culture or respect for any women over child bearing years. Justine can comment on this as the effect of Hollywood and its role in this.

I agree, Eastern cultures do have more respect for their matriarchs. Hispanic cultures too. Yes, there is machismo but with the roles there is authority over certain domains. The house, food, and family is run by an iron first by mom.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-02-26T11:55:37+00:00

I think usually the unspoken part is that ‘being invisible’ is a feeling that happen to folks whose identity is very tied to romantic or sexual interest in them: otherwise there’s a lot of pathways you can take in life. You can be a community member, a daughter/mother, best host, traveler, etc. It’s only a problem if being vivacious and attractive in your younger years is your whole identity.

As POCs I think this was never much of an option: we’re either more tied to our identities as daughter/family member, or else considered less attractive in the first place and can’t make it our whole personality.

feeling_inspired · 2026-02-26T11:58:56+00:00

Marginalized people's voices are marginalized.

Part of marginalization is that your voice and your experiences are decentralized, ignored and silenced.

White women are experiencing marginalization due to their sex and gender, so their perspective take up less space and are given less weight than if they'd been male and men.

Double and multiple marginalization, like being both BIPOC and women, intersect and amplify the marginalization, leading to much more silencing. Both systemically and algorithmically.

You ask why it seems to be a certain type of white women - married, suburban soccor moms.

That's because the silencing doesn't just happen due to gender or sex. It's also wealth, gender conformity, sexuality, religion, ethnicity etc.

Another expression for single double triple minority groups, i.e. in how many different areas of a person is stigmatized and marginalized is, how many degrees they are seperated from privilige. Privilige here meaning, what contemporary society view as the "ideal" human, who are more likely to be listened to, and who are more likely to accumulate wealth and power.

White, wealthy or middle class, married, suburban women are one (1) degree removed from privilige. They would not be subjected to marginalization they experience if they were men.

Its the same with wealthy or middle class, white, cis gay men. The only cause of their marginalization is the asexuality - bare that, they fit the priviliged group completely.

The women who are priviliged enough to be able to speak out about their marginalization are mostly white, wealthy, gender-conforming, mentally and physically healthy and normative, etc etc etc.

LGBT+ people who are priviliged enough to speak out about the very real marginalization they and their community experience, are often wealthy, white, cis gay men.

Poor people who get a chance to speak out about poverty are most often white, cis, straight men.

Black, indigenous and POC who get access to talk about their marginalization are usually wealthy or middle class, thin, straight, cis, male, well educated, otherwise conforming.

Or said differently, it's rared that the mainstream makes spaces for the voices of people who are both poor, homeless, BIPOC, fat, gender non-conforming, LGBT+, not Christian or atheist, colonized, traumatized, immigrated, disabled, neurodivergent, etc etc. It's not that those people don't exist. It's just deemed as "too much" for the general public and the consumer group with the most spending money.

Why doesn't a lot of formerly incarcerated people pop up on your time line, despite the US' massive industrial prison industry and the astounding number of imprisoned in the US?

Cause of systemic oppression. It's in the fabric of society's structures and the algorithms that control what information is presented to us online.

OstrichAlone2069 · 2026-02-26T10:18:37+00:00

Quite possibly what you are noticing is an example of systemic racism. White voices / experience are often prioritized over BIPOC people's. This tends to reflect in what your algorithm shares with you and also in the overall trends of who feels like they are entitled to space and attention on online platforms.

ooa3603 · 2026-02-26T13:10:03+00:00

There's a lot at play here but basically, when it comes to human beings paradoxical beliefs and behaviors are very common due to ego, and cognitive biases.

And so we can be unreliable narrators, and hold inaccurate self perceptions, blind to ourselves and the reality and impact of our worldview and beliefs on ourselves and others. Even while we believe we are the good guys in social and relationship dynamics.

Everyone does this. This is a universal human problem.

But since we are discussing it, white women are yet another example of a human demographic that exhibit these paradoxical tendencies. Women are marginalized in many ways. However, they can also be the very agents of their own marginalization.

These white women are complaining about the effects of patriarchy. And their complaints are true. However, they also uphold patriarchy in the way they vote, the men they choose and the social systems they uphold.

Other women of other demographics can have the same sentiments (or opposing), but since we live in in western civilization, white people hold the majority of the power so they hold the majority of the voice, or I should say they are the one's most listened to, even more accurate, they are noticed more. Case in point, ICE has killed many people before the two white people in the last few months, but they only received the national attention.

In any case, the problem is that there are tradeoffs to everything. ***Without exception.*** But people don't want to acknowledge that, they want to have their cake and eat it to. People, not just white women, want to be able to think and act without being beholden to the impact of their thoughts and actions. That is a universal cognitive bias.

These specific group of white women want to enjoy the benefits of patriarchy, but also want to be the exception to the cons/drawbacks of it.

At least for those that are aware of the full scope of patriarchy.

Some people are just ignorant or stupid, as we are very well seeing in politics.

They may have decided to not think about the full ramifications of the things they believe, so they unknowingly choose the very things that hurt them.

And then complain about it on Youtube.

SirDalavar · 2026-02-26T11:36:47+00:00

Too many of them are conformists, they all try to act the same to fit in, they view different as weird, they grow up this way, and then when they are adults they end up as identical clones of little interest as the market is now flooded with their kind.

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