Isn’t asking for something inherently needy?

Ok_Potential359 · 2026-04-24T14:59:16+00:00

No...

Neediness is based on insecurity. Like if you feel compelled to message/call her, you orient your time around her unbalanced, you're seeking her approval, you need validation she likes you or doesn't like someone else.

Neediness is a hugely unattractive trait. It's not literally about asking for something.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-04-24T15:09:27+00:00

When people talk about being needy, they're not talking about normal escalation or closing attempts. They're usually talking about doing too much, usually also too soon.

You can see it as 3 levels:

You're not doing enough (too passive / avoidant)
You're doing enough (well-adjusted / appropriate / secure)
You're doing too much (needy / desperate / anxious-preoccupied)

optimal981 · 2026-04-24T15:58:54+00:00

No, you never get what you don’t ask for. You want to date a hot girl, you have to ask her out. You want a promotion or raise, you have to ask for it. You need a favor from a friend/family member, ask them. Asking for things is normal.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-24T15:13:59+00:00

No, because needy refers to anything that communicates directly or indirectly that you can't live happy without a girl, or that you are terrified a particular girl leaves you, or that your emotional well-being depends on her decision to be with you, showing that pretty much your entire happiness depends on whether she stays or leaves.

That is why we use the word needy from "need" because a needy person feels like they need another person, rather than simply desiring or wanting that person only.

Because you can want a person, desire her, yet be ok if that person doesn't reciprocate, because you are still happy with your life. But needing a person implies you are not ok at all if that person doesn't reciprocate and go into a crisis or depression because of it.

Putting her on a pedestal is projecting that she is flawless and perfect, simply based on how cute she looks, where you form an idealized mental image of who you think she is which doesn't reflect reality of who she is once you get to know her properly and remove the pink colored glasses.

Giving a compliment to a woman or asking her out doesn't prove you can't live without her and it doesn't mean you think she is flawless because you are just appreciating a particular quality that she has displayed, not telling her that she is perfect or treating her like she is.

And when you ask a woman out you are inviting her to something that you offer valuable, your time/a good time, and whether she accepts it or not, is not a reflection of your worth as a man, it's just a reflection of her preferences or priorities at that time.

Lacunaethra · 2026-04-24T15:50:51+00:00

Neediness involves being uncomfortable with a "no".

CoachSlyDating · 2026-04-24T16:48:24+00:00

When you enter a conversation as the GIVER of good energy, you will not needy.

You are giving her value. An opportunity to be with you, a unique one of one with a lot to share. You have a fun vibe, you live a cool life, you have a witty sense of humor, cool friends, and she would be lucky to enter your world. You don’t need to compliment when your presence alone is a gift.

Your mindset should that you have a million dollar check in your pocket that you are about to hand her. You won’t feel needy. You’ll feel like you are giving her an opportunity. If she doesn’t take the opportunity she’s metaphorically dead to me as she’s not in my world. She immediately becomes an NPC and I will never think about her again.

Western-Month-3877 · 2026-04-25T12:57:07+00:00

It depends on the motive. I’m not stingy with compliments, but I don’t do it to put her on pedestal or seek her validation. It’s just part of me being flirtatious and playful.

You can say “you’re hot!” with 2 distinct motives behind it. Women will react to your compliment in order to find out the motive. They do this all the time (at least with me) it just becomes predictable at this point.

Otherwise-Sympathy87 · 2026-04-24T15:07:03+00:00

Neediness is when you need something. If you ask for contact, she says no, and you start obsessively chasing after her and asking why she won't say yes, that becomes neediness.

Title	Isn’t asking for something inherently needy?
Author	Perfect-Highway-6818
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	April 24, 2026 2:51 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1suhyoh/isnt_asking_for_something_inherently_needy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/isnt-asking-for-something-inherently-needy.1578783 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578783

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