Shouldn’t we have evolved to be able to naturally do this shit?

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-09-02T19:22:33+00:00

You were naturally able to do this when you were a kid when you still had confidence in yourself as you had't learned yet to doubt yourself, undervalue yourself, fear consequences and had not learned social conditioning to have self-doubt and hesitations.

The problem is when you were a kid you were not interested in dating or sleeping with women, but if you would have been interested you would have been killing it.

Your fear or anxiety when you see a hot girl happens because you have internalized some beleifs throughout your childhood that now cause you to fear rejection, and to seek validation from other people to feel safe...

And when you feel like you lose control and things might not go your way then your ego and anxiety combiend can paralyse you in order to avoid facing an uncomfortable or hurtful experience.

So yes, you are not the only one. You lost touch with your natural instincts that naturally allow you to seduce women, because of bad parenting, bad teachers, social conditioning, peer pressure in school, etc that cause yout to repress yourself and doubt yourself so much now.

And overcoming that takes time as it's mostly a battle with your own mind.

Vox_Dissidens · 2025-09-02T19:40:45+00:00

Naturally, we’ve evolved to exist in small tribes of about 50-150 people. In those tribes, social cohesion was everything. To upset the social order meant being ostracised by your tribe. In other words - if you’re awkward, you’re dead.

That’s why people fumble over coins in the drive thru, hyperventilate before public speaking and lose their shit before talking to a pretty girl. We’re aware of our own place within the hierarchy, and we’re aware that challenging that place could mean social rejection, awkwardness and being kicked out of the tribe.

It’s a privilege of our modern world that we get to circumnavigate these systems and overcome our nature. We CAN upset the tribe and be totally fine - we just haven’t evolved to feel that way yet.

Robofrogg1 · 2025-09-02T19:15:36+00:00

Because you're not used to talking to people. Approach and talk to EVERYBODY, male and female, whether you're attracted to them or not. You'll get so used to talking to people that the hot girls won't trip you up.

Also, evolution isn't perfect.

No-Compote-2127 · 2025-09-02T21:10:46+00:00

A lot of 10s consider themselves below average and have deep insecurities about their look. On the other hand there are a lot of 3s who consider themselves as the finest thing on earth cause many desperate guys hit on them.

Odds are that the pretty girl you are interested is likely interested in you as well but perhaps too shy and held back as you.

Also see conversations as opportunity to improve your social skills and less with something that has high stake

Kundalini_electric · 2025-09-02T19:19:52+00:00

You just need to believe in yourself more, view yourself as equal to her rather than putting her on a pedestal out of reach. When you put her on a pedestal you unconsciously give out needy energy cause you want her to validate you. Women can feel this a mile away.

Sounds cringy as fuck, but start loving yourself more. Be your own hypeman. When you're in a good mood you give off good energy and that's the energy Women want to be around.

CrvCrx27 · 2025-09-02T19:35:17+00:00

We did. But then we spent our adolescence watching TV and playing video games. And this is from someone who LOVES watching TV and playing videos games…

EmpireStrikes1st · 2025-09-02T21:57:04+00:00

Nope. You can't learn to be tall, but you can learn to be charismatic. Your hard work is the equalizer when it comes to finding the woman of your dreams.

daMasta69 · 2025-09-02T22:47:41+00:00

Women also have evolved to be selective and to optimize their future genes

Dandys3107 · 2025-09-03T09:51:15+00:00

It's up to you to responed to your emotions and thoughts however you want. As our modern civilisation differs drastically from our animalistic heritage, you need to consciously reconfigure yourself to meet old needs with new ways of living and interacting. With evolution compass you would like to jump on this attractive female and procreate, but your subconscious is also aware of the social order consequences of such a deed. That's where comes freeze, shaking, doubt, fear, anxiety. But you can figure it out, possibly.

Freevoulous · 2025-09-03T10:35:42+00:00

We actually DO have that confidence. It tends to be intertwined with high-testosterone, masculine phenotype, ADHD, extroversion and impulsiveness.

Of course plenty of men lack it, because evolution is blind and throws shit at the wall with random mutation. Being shy however is good for survival and not a problem in civilised society, so shy guys procreate too.

If we had Tinder in the Paleolithic Age, everyone except high-T Chads would be extinct.

LivelyEmperor · 2025-09-02T20:07:02+00:00

Some say, “imagine she has chlamydia”. It works sometimes!

grnthmb · 2025-09-02T19:47:12+00:00

You have get good at picking up the ones you don’t necessarily want so when you meet one you do want you don’t act different

Rhino3750ss · 2025-09-02T20:33:46+00:00

That anxiety and doubt is actually the result of male evolution. Men developed safety mechanisms over time to prevent the consequences of a botched approach, which used to be exile from the tribe or flogging or execution. That gut feeling you get when you see a hottie comes from fearing for your life without knowing it because your genetics still think they live in the tribal era because they didn't have enough time to evolve and adapt to the modern age, which has only started a few hundred years ago.

chamcham123 · 2025-09-02T22:01:48+00:00

You have to see hot girls as normal human beings. Don’t put them on pedestal and see them as goddesses. Try to think about the potential relationship instead and what value it brings to you. Focus on relationships that improve your lives mutually.

Don’t tie your self-worth to how hot your girlfriend is. Be willing to walk about from any woman that is too much of a headache (regardless of how beautiful she is).

One other harsh truth I will add. Women lose a lot of attractiveness as you get older. As you get used to it, it becomes easier to not be phased by them.

But nothing really replaces the hotness of women in their early (especially) to mid 20s. Sometimes the beauty is so much at those ages, it is really hard to remain a rational thinker around them (especially when they are naive and still not so self-aware).

I’ve met early 20s women that are very friendly and talk to you in your face very casually. My heart beats so fast I can’t stare at their faces for too long. They are just too beautiful. But still I can contain those emotions and think about if I could see us becoming more. Even hot women can be very boring.

I’ve had the luxury of having some femalw roommates. So I can see what happens behind the scenes in their daily life. Lots of attractive women actually live very boring lives outside of their dating life.

water_reducer · 2025-09-02T20:56:57+00:00

We did evolve to do this. However, depending on your current level of health, your brain more or less understands what the odds are of you actually being successful at it are and will modulate your behavior accordingly. If you are fit and in overall good health you won’t experience any anxiety over approaches and the whole interaction is shockingly easy, you’ll be smoother than any “pro” dating coach out there and you’ll get better results than him with less experience and time wasted on mass approaching. If you’re generally miserable, crippled with anxiety and feel generally awful you already know how it’s going to go, more or less.

Your brain is essentially trying to save you from yourself, her wrath, and her boyfriend’s/brother’s/orbiters’s jelly fists. That was how things were in a state of anarchy, laws of the jungle meant harsh punishment for low ranking males “shooting their shot”.

There are thousands of nuances to this but more or less that is how it goes. If you’re in prime physical /and/ mental condition that is essentially what actual “alpha” status basically is, more or less it is an indicator that you are the most successful specimen of your tribe at navigating throughout the conditions of the (natural, or in our case unnatural) environment.

LivelyEmperor · 2025-09-02T21:17:47+00:00

This is exactly the purpose of evolution - those who were / are able to overcome this fear, pass down their genes, and those who can’t, don’t…!

Exciting_Ad_8666 · 2025-09-02T19:16:56+00:00

Our dumbass ancestors were busy evolving thumbs and big brains instead of some sort of biological love magnet. Curse you Darwin

Yatsu1232 · 2025-09-02T22:40:35+00:00

It's normal. It would be the other way around if u didn't give a fuck about that person, not in the opposite

Educational-Cake7350 · 2025-09-02T23:50:25+00:00

You have to evolve past that fear, doubt and anxiety. Just takes work. The moment you stop looking at every woman as an opportunity, and just look at em as another human, those feelings will die down.

withoutwax21 · 2025-09-03T06:14:09+00:00

Your ancestors did, doesnt mean you automatically can

Ahmed104 · 2025-09-03T08:26:40+00:00

bro this is the solution that worked for me.. if you approach ugly girl people will laugh at u, u approach a man people will laugh at u, if u approach a hot girl most likely she will and the people will understand this, because its obvious and they wont act bad on it

stenberget · 2025-09-03T09:02:09+00:00

Most people don’t even breathe correctly… so…

organicHack · 2025-09-04T17:32:01+00:00

Evolution isn’t optimal, it’s “good enough that the species survives long enough to produce sufficient number of offspring even if individuals do not.”

liftingnstuff · 2025-09-02T19:22:28+00:00

I can't vouch for the veracity of the claim but in the pickup space there has always been the idea that getting rejected by your local group in early human existence pre-civilization would lead to being isolated from the group and thus death to the elements.

AlastairXXL · 2025-09-02T21:17:48+00:00

You were probably too aggressive in the past got shot down hard now you get anxious? Maybe try a few passive approaches waves, say hi, find out there is nothing bad going to happen

Head-Bluebird1644 · 2025-09-02T22:47:04+00:00

I never really felt this and I think it's because I was always around these types of girls.

Keep doing it and eventually you will do it so easily trust (at least I think this is why I don't have any fear)

InvestigatorFull1364 · 2025-09-02T21:46:03+00:00

It’s a big task, but if you can go through this article, it explains why the Blue Pill is the natural human condition. Sadly no PUA dream, we only got out of it with tremendous effort and dumb luck

https://coffeedaygame.wordpress.com/the-origins-of-blue-pill/

jamesfalken · 2025-09-02T21:57:19+00:00

We did… but now social media, the digital world and tech dependence are retarding human social skills. It’s rather obvious.

CharmingSama · 2025-09-02T21:29:39+00:00

that fear is part of the evolution.. back in the day, it kept you safe from the man she was with, hunting you and turning you into prey with out you ever knowing until you feel an arrow stick out your back. or a club hits the back of your head.

Mash_CsAo · 2025-09-02T19:31:04+00:00

The man does have a more evolved brain than the woman since it is the man who must seduce the woman. Precisely because you are aware of its beauty, your mind is activated to go after it, just focus that energy correctly.

Title	Shouldn’t we have evolved to be able to naturally do this shit?
Author	Perfect-Highway-6818
Upvotes	293
Comments	67
Date	September 2, 2025 7:09 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1n6sjeo/shouldnt_we_have_evolved_to_be_able_to_naturally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/shouldnt-we-have-evolved-to-be-able-to-naturally.1561111 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561111

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