Good looking but afraid to make a move

hunterpua · 2026-04-27T14:57:06+00:00

People often unnecessarily overcomplicate dating.

I could tell you its an ego thing.

That its because you already have an image of yourself as an attractive guy and shooting your shot naturally threatens that image.

I could tell you I relate with that because I had a period where I was nervous to approach even though I was already openly sleeping with multiple women.

And all of that can very well be true but the problem is, mental gymnastics or trying to find some deep corner of your mind that unlocks "unstoppable confidence" is often just fanciful thinking.

Even if it's true that we are evolutionarily hardwired to be afraid of shooting our shots, because failure used to mean being seen as outcasts of our tribes or getting killed if we go for the wrong girl, people often don't realize that all fears are based on things like that.

In fact I'd say a fear of the dark is more meaningful than a fear of shooting your shot, because the former is based purely on not wanting to die.

All that is to explain to you that you should just face this damn fear like you would face any other fear.

You don't have to tackle it at 100mph, although that is an option, you can also deal with it through gradual exposure, like starting with simple compliments before you build up to showing blatant interest.

But the important thing is to not overhype this.

If you were nervous to speak in front of a crowd, or you used to be nervous about sports, or you were nervous about confrontation or whatever and you just dealt with it in a practical way, just do the same for this.

Either work up to it or dive into the deep end and just get used to it and that's really all you need.

ha1ryjerry · 2026-04-27T18:17:01+00:00

100% agree with the majority of comments here. For some reason people have a tendency to take 1 bad thing way more seriously than 1 good thing. It’s an imbalance. You yourself admitted that girls like you for who you are. If plenty of girls like you for who you are then those few ego hits you might get shouldn’t be thst important. You’ll never be everyone’s type

Hanmura · 2026-04-27T15:33:06+00:00

Bro it’s a number game even the good looking guys get rejected by stuck up girls who think they deserve a 6ft chad millionaire.

jsbach123 · 2026-04-27T15:58:00+00:00

There's no need to "make a move" which I interpret as you suddenly professing your feelings.

If a girl is chatting with you and she seems friendly, then you return the friendliness, say some suggestive remarks, get a tad touchy and go for a coffee date. It doesn't have to be this singular big event.

ExcellentPlace4608 · 2026-04-27T20:07:08+00:00

One thing that’s helping me is being less outcome dependent. I’ll tell a woman I think she’s attractive and if she’s receptive, I’ll obviously go for the number and if she’s not, well least she appreciates the compliment. The point is, I’m not worried about whether or not I close because I’ve learned to let go. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves worrying about picking the perfect opener or remembering a routine.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2026-04-28T04:14:36+00:00

You have to do hard and uncomfortable things to find success in life. You aren't going to be young and good looking forever. If you avoid discomfort when you are older you are really going to regret your inaction when you had the chance.

prettyassdolfin · 2026-04-27T15:47:23+00:00

This is going to sound arrogant, but it’s true: you need to view yourself as a gift to other people, including women. I genuinely believe I am a man of high character. Someone who is a good conversationalist and is fun to be around and takes care of themself. I have a solid lifestyle that women would like to be a part of. Once you start thinking like this, you will be less afraid to approach women because it will almost feel like you’re doing them a favor lol.

Pls remember that your actions have to back up these self beliefs. Don’t be a loser, dishonest dickhead and think you’re gods gift; that’s just a delusion at that point.

professionalfumblr · 2026-04-27T16:14:12+00:00

I’m in the same boat. Peep the username.

KeyTheZebra · 2026-04-27T14:44:28+00:00

You have a chance if you ask her.

You have no chance if you don’t.

The more you ask, the easier it will get.

Key-Proud · 2026-04-27T15:09:03+00:00

Like how far are you? - are you like wanting to ask them to date?

Or are you looking to kiss them?

Or are you going to approach them?

Flooavenger · 2026-04-27T21:10:26+00:00

Find out what you believe to be true about yourself in relation to the circumstance. You believe you'll be rejected and humiliated? Laughed at? You gotta be super honest cus somewhere in your own subconscious you have a limited belief or fear based definition of yourself

Status-Grocery-5685 · 2026-04-28T02:56:30+00:00

If you feel it then make the move. There is nothing more attractive than that. Have fun be your self. And it’s not rocket science guys are very simple.

Eye contact, laugh at every joke, sit with an open posture at the bar and just touch his arm or thigh game over

chips_and_hummus · 2026-04-28T23:24:37+00:00

Depends. What’s your issue?

Are you scared of rejection? Or are you scared of risking making women uncomfortable? Something else?

Requires-citation · 2026-04-29T04:57:55+00:00

Most people are trained to be polite by their parents and society. In the window you have for polite interaction, you train yourself to see any indicators of interest

ResentCourtship2099 · 2026-04-27T15:48:20+00:00

There's no escaping this dynamic as a guy

kelement · 2026-04-27T16:56:43+00:00

Your looks won’t make things easier.

nightwingprime · 2026-04-28T08:36:44+00:00

First, get out of your own head. Stop thinking about the next 10 steps. If you like someone just ask to spend one on one time with them doing an activity of any kind and let things flow from there. If there’s chemistry you’ll know. If you’re rejected it will sting for a day or two then you’ll get over it

Second. Think of it as practice runs. Flirt with people as a hobby. Yes even the ones you’re not interested in. Observe their response. See which are receptive and which are reclusive. Keep a mental score of the negative and the positive responses. Reactions to stuff like physical touch, innuendos and body language. Lingering eye contact. Arm touching and biceps squeezing. Hand staring etc. if you get a 3-5 difference in score to the positive make the move.

Third, You need to be a bit more used to and desensitized rejection of any kind. My way to deal with that was to apply to jobs i’m under-qualified for and read every rejection mail word by word. Surprise surprise i ended up with one of those jobs with way more than what i was earning. And it wasn’t even that harder than what i already do i adjusted in a momth

You can do the same approach with people you think are way out of your league. But be smart about the approach of making a move. Usually there needs to be some kind of rapport before you can jump to the move making. Some ongoing joke or existing chemistry.

If you’re good looking, well groomed, in shape, dress and smell nice i GUARANTEE YOU that 90% of your work is cut out for you

Title	Good looking but afraid to make a move
Author	n_reedus
Upvotes	55
Comments	29
Date	April 27, 2026 2:35 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1sx5jb9/good_looking_but_afraid_to_make_a_move/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/good-looking-but-afraid-to-make-a-move.1579009 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579009

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