A short one.

 

I'm sure you've heard this advice spouted many times before.

'I've got a date with this girl and I'm worried about how it's going to go.'

'Just be yourself'

'That girl over there looks pretty but I don't know what to say'

'Just be yourself'.

 

It sounds like good advice. And generally, it is. Better to be authentic than to spend your life pretending to be something that you're not. But 'Just be yourself' only works if 'yourself' is actually worth bringing to the table.

 

If you're a boring, undisciplined, uninteresting peice of shit with no value to offer, then no. Don't just be yourself. You suck.

 

This is where people confuse authenticity with complacency. Authenticity doesn't mean accepting the weak, unattractive and underdeveloped parts of yourself as sacred personality traits. The goal is not to pretend to be someone else, the goal is to build a better self until being yourself is no longer a negative.

When you don't suck, you can take the advice to 'be yourself' to mean be your generally fucking awesome self.

 

That is the self-check.

 

When you hear someone say 'Be yourself', ask yourself honestly if you are comfortable showing up to any situation armed only with what you are and nothing else.

If the answer is no, then 'be yourself' isn't advice, it's a warning.

 

Don't fake being better, just become better. Then be that.