Can no-sex be enough of a reason to make men depressed?

psyflux · 2016-01-29T11:34:28+00:00

Sitting around obsessing over the things you don't have usually leads to one of two conditions: depression or motivation.

Choose one, don't look back.

demilitarizdsm · 2016-01-29T11:53:35+00:00

You are only here because an immeasurable number of organisms that came before you successfully bred. They also found ways to replenish their energy, grow etc, but what is important is that considering everything that came before you procreated you are hardwired with many different biological pressures to do the same. Being depressed when you don't find mating partners is natural. But accepting it as OK because it is natural is how you'll end up the last link in the chain.

2016-01-29T13:32:24+00:00

I had a bout of depression when I was like 16 to 18 primarily out of loneliness.

Idk if it's so much lack of sex, as much as it is lack of intimacy and/or a feeling of belonging. Possibly a combination of both.

brujon · 2016-01-29T17:22:08+00:00

Yes.

Men are biologically programmed to 'reproduce', and failure to do so messes you up. Masturbation can only go so far as circumventing the natural urge to reproduce, and, coupled with the crippling realization that you're less of a man for not being able to impress a woman enough that she has sex with you, leads to depression, social anxiety, and a plethora of other dysfunctions.

The longer one continues down this spiralling path of self-loathing leading to increased anxiety, awkwardness and depression, leading to more self-loathing ad nauseam, the harder it becomes for one to break out of the cycle, which can and does lead to the 40-year-old-virgin scenario, especially if one becomes so socially anxious one can not bring himself to even seek out a prostitute.

Which is exactly why men that do well with woman in their teens tend to stay successful with women in their later teens, and, conversely, why men that don't, end up becoming even more socially awkward as time goes by. This, in turn, is the reason you can't put off for tomorrow the self-improvement you can be doing today.

Each day you spend not improving your current situation and continuing the spiral of self-loathing makes it harder to start the process later on. Sometimes, leading to such a situation where it's all but hopeless that one will change his ways and embrace TRP.

MeatCurtainRod · 2016-01-29T16:30:26+00:00

Waiting for something to happen, then realizing that all you did was waste years of your life as opportunities passed you by, will make you depressed, not avoiding said opportunities. This seems to be the missing link for most people here. This whole idea of monk mode or no-sex only works if you have a plan. The key - go out there and make shit happen. Contrary to popular belief, you won't get depressed by failing. That is just your irrational fear of not wanting one of several outcomes, which when you look at it from a logical point of view, is insanity. Because your efforts of trying will only make you stronger and help you try again. You will, however, get depressed when you simply don't try. That is the ultimate sadness.

MattyAnon · 2016-01-30T00:55:20+00:00

Yes and no.

You're 21, you'll find plenty of lovers. Also - you don't need women.

Sex is nice. But it's not everything. Don't make it the focus of your world. Your happiness must never depend on anything from anyone else, ever. Or you'll find you lose it at their convenience.

103342 · 2016-01-29T14:51:10+00:00

YES. Spending too much time without sex takes a toll on your self-steem.

The catch is that: if you obssess too much about it you probably won't get it, or it won't be as good.

Not being able to get sex usually indicates that something is missing in your life, maybe you don't look good enough, don't have enough game, or lacks socially...etc.

2016-01-29T17:12:33+00:00

Find a hobby. Do some carpentry or practice freerunning... or join a community service organization. You meet cool nice people and it chomps away at the time that you would otherwise feel lonely.

RedPillJax · 2016-01-29T19:22:37+00:00

Feeling generally and utterly hopeless when it comes to achieving your goals - no matter what they might be - can often lead to depression, especially if you feel like you're really batting a zero when it comes to your chances.

I see this as no different when it comes to meeting a mate, if you for some reason feel that you're an absolute omega with no hope of meeting a woman, of course you'd be pretty bent out of shape about it. Same thing if all you wanted in life was to be a surgeon and a hand grenade blew off both your hands.

Fortunately, TRP is the toolbox that can help you reach your goals.

Whisper · 2016-01-30T02:43:50+00:00

Yes.

taracus · 2016-01-29T11:42:15+00:00

Everyone lost all hope of ever finding a lover at some point in their lives.

Just look at all the crazy people out there getting married/having kids, believe in yourself and you will be divorced-raped like the rest of them !

2016-01-29T14:58:37+00:00

I'm confused. Can you clarify what you mean by no-sex and finding a lover? Are you not going to try? Or are you just saying that you've given up the fairy tale of "the one"?

Yami_Baddy · 2016-01-29T15:55:23+00:00

Yes, it can. It can also make you really aggressive. That's what happens in prison btw. The constant tension of an unsafe place, sexual frustration and inmates aswell as corrupt guards trying to walk over you can bring out the worst of you.

Masturbating can help. But if you feel unatractive and don't think you can score, your problems might not be directly connected to sexual frustration, but more to your awarness of your SMV.

2016-01-29T16:05:08+00:00

During periods of my life that I'm not having sex I'm generally in a self improving mode. I like to keep busy. So no depression

FerociousOreos · 2016-01-29T20:13:30+00:00

You need to read the sidebar more.

TheWrathofShane · 2016-01-29T21:33:43+00:00

There is more to life then sex. Rub one out and watch a TV series.

2016-01-30T00:28:52+00:00

Hookers?

TheRealMewt · 2016-01-30T00:47:45+00:00

I'd say it's one piece of the puzzle, but if you're not having the sex you want, there's probably a myriad of reasons because of it - most of which would probably go hand in hand with why you are depressed.

Innerouterself · 2016-01-30T02:01:05+00:00

Try going without sex while married. My longest spell was 12 months. I think I just started blacking out from the need to fuck. Yes, can cause depression.

machimus · 2016-01-30T03:27:30+00:00

It's usually not from sex, it's from not having a sense of purpose.

No sex sure doesn't help though.

Title	Can no-sex be enough of a reason to make men depressed?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	23
Comments	39
Date	January 29, 2016 11:06 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/438ddi/can_nosex_be_enough_of_a_reason_to_make_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/can-no-sex-be-enough-of-a-reason-to-make-men.160027 https://theredarchive.com/post/160027

Comments