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Boolzay · 2022-02-22T20:13:05+00:00

I'm not sure if this is everyone's experience, but for me, the harsher life got the more masculine I became. If a guy lives in comfort why would he go down this path, being masculine is not a party and it's not just empty bravado. It's taking the hard way, taking the shit so the people you care about don't have too, standing up for yourself because it means standing up for people who rely on you. My biggest wake up call was becoming the sole provider for my family at the age of 19 after my dad was bed ridden.

Up until that point I never had a serious gf and played video games and looked at memes all day, I worked hard everyday jumping from one company to another, I felt jealous of my friends who basically enjoyed a life of leisure. But now that I'm 26, rent my own place, have a great girl and a promising career, I feel bad for them because they kinda fit into the man-child persona, living with their parents and are what you would call feminine.

So yeah, every guy needs a harsh wake up call to transition from boy to man, a break up is as good a wake up call as any honestly.

ikfl · 2022-02-22T20:44:14+00:00

Stop taking the reins. Why would he ever want to lead when he can comfortably sit back and watch you do it? It’s never your job to train him to be masculine, your job is to be feminine! It might take a while for him to get what’s going on, but once you are in your feminine energy and just not picking up his slack anymore he will most likely be taking the lead.

Laura Doyle plus Fascinating Womanhood will show you ways of doing this, both in book form and podcasts. Definitely recommend!

throwawayisathing · 2022-02-22T19:33:27+00:00

Read the book "fascinating womanhood" it talks specifically what you can do to make him take the lead, feel masculine etc. It follows a case of a woman who has not let her husband take the lead and how she improves their relationship. I can't recommend it enough

Edit: messed up the booktitle

her_crimson_tablet · 2022-02-22T20:46:56+00:00

I don't have advice, but I do have commiseration. I'm an assertive, driven, successful woman and I actually really enjoy aggressive activities (martial arts). I'm also feminine and submissive, but *only* to guys that are more dominant than me. In my preference, I would not shrink away myself in order to make a man seem more dominant by comparison - I've instead sought out a man that is more dominant than I am and who make me look submissive by comparison. It's amazing!

When I've tried to shrink down my nature to make a man "manlier", it kinda felt like fraud. He wasn't dominant, I was just bending over backwards past submissive into total doormat, but that didn't lead to him being a leader - it lead to us not doing anything because there was no leader.

I'm totally not saying it can't be done, or that my route is the best. But I will say, I am so happy that I can be fully myself and have a man that out-alphas me by his very nature. Together, we are a force to be reckoned with, rather than one submissive person leading another more submissive person.

I like trying to be almost indomitable, because then the man that can dominate me truly is worthy of my submission, if that makes sense. I agree with the poster who stated that hardship made him more masculine. Perhaps encouraging your partner to do difficult things with a brotherhood of more rugged men would help? I find MMA/BJJ to be a good transformer of wimpier dudes into more masculine men.

2022-02-22T21:41:32+00:00

Stop taking the lead and if he doesn’t lead find someone who will

ifeanyi_ibeanu · 2022-02-22T23:06:23+00:00

"If masculinity has to be explained to a man, he’s not the man for her." - Rational Male

FirstBornAthlete · 2022-02-22T21:54:51+00:00

It would probably encourage his masculinity if he had more responsibilities. When everything is handed to you some find it easy to kind of just exist within that bubble. But if you have people depending on you that tends to wake men up pretty good.

swimmingindaisies · 2022-02-23T00:07:02+00:00

There’s a quote, surprisingly from Bruce Jenner: “When you’re dating somebody, that’s as good as it’s ever going to get.”

The time when you are in the dating phase with your partner is the time when the tingly butterflies are at their peak and when they are showing you the best parts of themselves to attract you, their best efforts.

I was once in your situation and my ex was a very passive man, also living in comfort. I am naturally a very feminine woman and in every other relationship, I was able to be feminine and naturally inspire my man’s masculinity. But in that relationship, as time progressed, I have never felt more masculine and it made me resent him, leading to our breakup. I felt that there was too much I had to “fix” in him for him to be more masculine and that’s not where you want to be with your partner. From what you’ve written, it sounds like your man’s entire personality/mindset would have to shift for a change like this. Yes, we can inspire masculinity in our men, but only if they want it, too. There are some cases where that is just who they are and you have to decide if that’s something you want or if you’re willing to stick around on the hopes that he will change.

thesurrenderedwife · 2022-02-22T21:32:52+00:00

Do you two read together? If so- buy the book “Mindful Attraction Plan” by Athol Kay and read together. If not- maybe read it at night when you’re in bed together and mention here and there how enlightening it is. It’s an eye opener for sure and would hopefully help spark motivation for him

StripperWhore · 2022-02-22T22:03:56+00:00

It's hard for someone to be their best when the other person is silently judging them. I'm not trying to attack you here - but really get into his head and think how he feels as well. It is easy for any human to slip into expectant and entitled. Try to drop unnecessary expectations if you can, because they just set you up to be disappointed.

What do you respect and love about him? What are the qualities that make you stay with him that you prefer over every other man?

Remember first what you respect and love about him - that should help color your vision correctly for approaching and relating to him.

xc_chick · 2022-02-22T22:04:54+00:00

Hint that you like more masculine men, and all things encompassing

yogurtnutz · 2022-02-22T22:06:53+00:00

You should read the Empowered Wife by Laura Doyle

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	22
Comments	14
Date	February 22, 2022 7:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/redpillwomen/comments/syvysz/deleted-by-user/
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