Constructive Criticism on my Personal Opinions?

The-New-Flesh · 2013-01-31T20:11:56+00:00

Nothing to critique, because anyone who doesn't agree either defines emotions and taxonomy in an irretrievably stupid way or doesn't understand what these things mean.
Nothing to critique, because there is nothing that could be wrong with thinking thoughts. The content of one's thoughts can be wrong, such as "it's logical to contradict yourself", or "a tomato is not a fruit", but the act of thinking them cannot be. What's worthy of critique would be whether and how you choose to let some thought affect your behavior, particularly in regards to how you treat others and whether you attempt to use them to justify some argument or behavior.
Glad to know someone understands what the term object means.
From what I've read, to know X is to fulfill three criteria:

1) To believe that X is true

2) To have good reasons to think that X is true

3) X is true

So my question would be, how is it that you know the male mind works differently than the
female mind? As a side note: I happen to think that this is true.
Can you provide some reasons for why you think this?
Do you mean to say there ought not be a problem or that there is no problem with this?
Of course they don't, the notion that say "men think of sex every seven seconds" is idiotic on its face.
Yes, but is it plausible?
What do you mean by this? Do you mean that men and women excercise the same types of communication skills and to the same degree or merely that both are equally effective at communicating?

TheSacredParsnip · 2013-01-31T19:19:42+00:00

I also get nervous when I'm walking around at night. I don't do it very often though.

jolly_mcfats · 2013-01-31T20:17:38+00:00

I think with number 2, it is worth noting that being a man doesn't mean that suddenly the world is a safe place for you. I have a sense of how dangrous my environment is too, and get nervous when around potentially dangerous situations (and, in some cases, make decisions to avoid them- I won't go to a show in certain parts of the city without friends because I don't want to be walking around alone at 2 am heading back to my car).

I think that number 4 and 9 are a bit at odds. Men and women - as a general rule- may have different comfort zones. I know in my relationships I often want to mull things over before getting into a difficult conversation (because I haven't really examined the idea carefully, and I would hate to argue for something I don't really believe), whereas my partner wants to have it out RIGHT NOW.

I've also heard that men who are experiencing depression respond better to oblique approaches (like an email), whereas many of my women friends are surprised by that and say it sounds "cold".

The_Patriarchy · 2013-01-31T20:44:37+00:00

Agreed. I just think it's important to mention that (generally) men may not express their emotions the same way as women. Though socialization may play a role in that, I sincerely doubt it's ENTIRELY a matter of conditioning. So, take away that conditioning, and I still don't think you'll see guys crying as much as women.
I'm 6'5 and built like a linebacker and I feel uncomfortable walking home late/etc. Some people are horrible, and it's perfectly reasonable to be wary. However, some people take that too far and, for example, call the cops when someone says "hi" to them on the street. As long as you aren't doing shit like that, or macing random strangers, etc., then you're normal.
That's good.
Agreed. As an aside, have you considered cognitive neuroscience instead? I ask because a lot psych is frequently on the "soft" end of the scale, and CN covers most of the same areas but is significantly more scientific.
Agreed.
Agreed, but regardless of any social engineering, I think men will continue to be the primary asker-outers.
Agreed. However, I think men generally have sex on the mind a lot more than women...and I believe it's linked to our higher levels of testosterone. It's not a bad thing...we're just different than women.
Possible? Sure. However, I think it's likely that most straight men who are friends with an unrelated woman (around their age of a moderate level of attractiveness) will at least entertain the possibility of something more than a platonic relationship.
I don't think I agree with that. Men and women generally communicate in different ways (there are other variables as well, but still). A speaker who communicates in X way to a group accustomed to communicating in Y way, will be less effective than a speaker who also communicates in Y way.

GeneralFalcon · 2013-01-31T21:53:10+00:00

You shouldn't be surprised, but you won't find opposition to this here.
Reasonable, but this should be displayed with a grain of salt. Would you feel okay saying the same thing about being mugged when a black man is walking behind you? No, you'd qualify it to say you'd be more concerned about a black man in a hoodie than one in a suit and tie.
The bit about being treated with respect is what matters. Everyone is objectified on a daily basis, but it's how you actually interact that defines a relationship.
Yup, just basic brain chem. Ask any transsexual taking hormones.
There's a psychologist aspect and a sociologist aspect to that, but both are relevant.
Of course.
Of course.
Of course.
Actually I'm not sure of this one. Going back to brain chemistry, I feel that I remember reading a study that showed women had a tendency to be better communicators than men, on average. Of course this varies from person to person. But I have no source, so don't take this as anything other than speculation.

rightsbot · 2013-01-31T19:18:17+00:00

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Demonspawn · 2013-01-31T19:45:21+00:00

8: I think it's possible for a woman to have a purely platonic (friendship) relationship with a man

This is surely possible, it's just uncommon. Simply put, there is a cost to a man in having any kind of relationship with a woman, friends or otherwise. Due to this, a woman must represent additional value over a similar male friend in order to maintain the relationship. Very often, that additional value is the potential for sex.

9: There is no difference in the skills of communication between men and women

I thoroughly disagree here. There is a big gulf in the communication skills between men and women, but mostly because men and women communicate in vastly different ways. I won't/can't say one is more or less skilled than the other, mostly because it's an "apples vs oranges" comparison.

gayrebel · 2013-01-31T20:49:29+00:00

2 affects all of us regardless of gender, I advise my male and female friends to be careful and to be situationly aware at all times. Plus a bottle of pepper spray or ccw can't hurt.

n0t1337 · 2013-01-31T21:38:37+00:00

I do feel a little uncomfortable when I'm walking home late from work and there is a lone man walking behind me - not because I believe all men are rapists but because I don't know which one might be.

I don't have any problem with this statement, you can think or feel anything you want. I do however think that everyone should occasionally be reminded that their feelings may not correlate with reality. (For instance, I often hear women talk about how afraid they are to walk alone at night, and how men don't know what it's like to deal with that fear. That may be true, but that doesn't change the fact that as a woman, they're far less likely to actually be a victim of the violent crime that they're so afraid of.)

I dont think theres a problem with a woman asking a man out on a date and I don`t think this will have a profound impact on the relationship

I also don't think that there's any problem with this. And while I don't believe that the single act of a girl mustering the courage to ask out a guy she fancies would have a profound impact on the relationship, a relationship between two people who don't feel as constrained by gender roles would probably be different than one between two people who do.

There is no difference in the skills of communication between men and women

That seems improbable to me. It my experience, women seem to communicate with much more subtlety, placing more emphasis on contextual clues, voice tonality and non-verbal communication. It's entirely possible that I've misinterpreted the nature of communication as delineated by gender, or that my experience isn't indicative of society as a whole. It's also possible that you agree with my assessment, but don't believe that this style of communication is better or requires more skill. Still though, I'm going to tentatively disagree, but I'm open to any evidence you'd like to present to justify your belief.

I'll be honest here, I'm mostly nit-picking. Overall, I think you've got a good attitude towards men and interaction between the genders.

inkall · 2013-01-31T21:48:51+00:00

Would you be more comfortable if it was a woman walking behind you?

Generally speaking if it is late at night, dark and you get that feeling of being followed it probably doesn't matter that much what sex they are.

Of course a lot of stuff in that kind of situation comes from the immediate assessment. A smartly dressed well groomed male walking behind you might cause less anxiety than a woman who looks like she could be a drug addict for example.

At the end of the day it is not prejudiced to be wary of people in situations you feel are unsafe. Even in situations where a person feels so uncomfortable that they get in touch with the authorities it isn't their fault for feeling unsafe.

In most of the stories of that kind of incident occuring I've read things tend to not go out of control until the authorities overreact and assume that this report means there must be a stalker on the loose and that everyone is in danger.

phil8248 · 2013-01-31T22:32:04+00:00

Every one seems both reasonable and plausible. I would clarify 7 and say that men generally think about one thing at a time. They focus. Women are better able to multitask. The theory I've heard is when we were hunter/gatherers, thousands of years ago, men went out to hunt while women gathered near dwellings and watched the young. Men needed to focus completely on one task whereas women were called upon to keep track of more than one thing. So when we are focused on sex, we are really focused on it. Also, hormonally, testosterone causes lust. Our hormones make us pursue more relentlessly the opportunity to mate. Urologists prescribe testosterone paste to be applied vaginally to improve women's sex drive after menopause. Men are visual and tactile and quickly aroused. Women tend to be more deliberate and their lust is more cyclic and situational. One naturalist I heard said he thought humans most resembled lions among other mammals in the area of sex. The men seek to mate with many females, the better to spread their genes, and the females bond together to raise their young, the better to protect the species. That is actually not an uncommon practice in many human societies. While I am no naturalist, and this was merely his opinion, it did seem on the surface to make sense. One final personal note. I think about sex a lot. I'm 58 but I work in a building with hundreds of beautiful, young women and I lust after them all day long. So maybe "one track mind" isn't that far off.

InfiniteFinite · 2013-01-31T22:41:34+00:00

Regarding number eight if a man has no sexual attraction to the women then friendship is plausible.

Pecanpig · 2013-02-01T07:03:24+00:00

Men have emotions and are also human beings (yes, I've been fought on this one)

It's worth noting however that men's emotional reactions to things seem to be very different to women's, and the same can be said with how we deal with our emotions.

I do feel a little uncomfortable when I'm walking home late from work and there is a lone man walking behind me - not because I believe all men are rapists but because I don't know which one might be.

Fair enough. This may be an irrational fear, but it is justified at the same time. In the same way as many people are scared of spiders, 99.999% of them are completely harmless, but you don't know if THIS one will hurt you.

I don't feel offended when I catch someone checking me out because, quite honestly, my body IS an object and as long as I`m treated with respect it doesn't matter to me.

Great to finally hear a woman admit to being comfortable with her body.

I know that the male mind works differently than the female mind (my area of study is male psychology).

Similar in every way, but seemingly different in every way.

I dont think theres a problem with a woman asking a man out on a date and I don`t think this will have a profound impact on the relationship

Does anyone actually have a problem with this?...

I don't think men have a "one-track mind" in terms of sex

But we do, as a while, certainly seem to place more value in it.

I think it's possible for a woman to have a purely platonic (friendship) relationship with a man

That's not in question, the question is can it go the other way around? (i.e avoid friendzoning)

There is no difference in the skills of communication between men and women

Disagree. Men and women communicate differently in many ways. Just as one example, when giving directions, men use N/E/S/W and street names. While women tend to use stores and other markers (fountains and statues and such).

EDIT: For #8 I'm stealing

This is surely possible, it's just uncommon. Simply put, there is a cost to a man in having any kind of relationship with a woman, friends or otherwise. Due to this, a woman must represent additional value over a similar male friend in order to maintain the relationship. Very often, that additional value is the potential for sex.

From someone else.

Title	Constructive Criticism on my Personal Opinions?
Author	maybesane
Upvotes	8
Comments	27
Date	January 31, 2013 7:16 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/17n87g/constructive-criticism-on-my-personal-opinions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/constructive-criticism-on-my-personal-opinions.1605272 https://theredarchive.com/post/1605272

Comments

2 affects all of us regardless of gender, I advise my male and female friends to be careful and to be situationly aware at all times. Plus a bottle of pepper spray or ccw can't hurt.