Help for my dad. | MensRights

When my parents got divorced, my mom lied to the court and my dad was bent over a barrel. He moved states, went back to school, and is now a LPN. My mom is now planning nailing him for alimony just as he's finally started to get his life back. He really won't have much money for an attorney. What can I do to help him?

UPDATE: Based off the comments I've received, it seems that it would be difficult for her to win with a neutral judge. So I plan on getting everything set up to immediate file for change of venue. Additionally I'll be looking into good lawyers, and hopefully socking some money away.

I've talked to my dad and let him know he has my support and love. I know he still feels just dejected by all this shit, but at least he knows he has an ally.

As for talking to my mom. Based on her personality, I actually don't think there's anything I could say that would stop her. My plan then is to simply save emails and possibly record conversations, so that I can show evidence that this being done out of spite.

I just want to thank you all for your help. The advice and support of this subreddit is tremendous. I sincerely do thank you for helping me in this.

EDIT2:

My dad has a good lawyer this time around.

Unfortunately there was an alimony agreement from the initial divorce. So he will have to pay something.

I changed my mind. I will be talking to my mom about this. I'll let you all know how it goes.

[–]salient_punt30 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThrowSomeHayAccount19 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]salient_punt17 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThrowSomeHayAccount18 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Revorob7 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThrowSomeHayAccount3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThrowSomeHayAccount12 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Crimson_D824 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]holierthanmao8 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThrowSomeHayAccount1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]crazyex2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Mythandros3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]XeroPeace3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThrowSomeHayAccount2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Geohump2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Mythandros2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]DinosBiggestFan1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Mythandros1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That would allow many people to screw you over. It wouldn't work.

Think about it this way: You and I are having a telephone conversation. We are talking about oh say... burning down my workplace. Without my knowledge, you record me saying that I'm going to burn down my workplace. We're both joking, obviously.. but it's on tape. The next day, my workplace burns down, but I didn't do it. You could then submit that as evidence and I (an innocent) would be detained as primary suspect. You have just ruined my life for a stupid comment and you get away with it.

How is that fair?

I was only saying something stupid, and am completely innocent, but now.. because I had no legal protection from your "wiretapping", I am guilty, even though I did not do anything.

You could also hold it over my head and THREATEN legal action and get me to do whatever you want. Blackmail.

That is why there is audio recording laws... because if there wasn't.. people would have no protection against stupid things they say.. and we all say stupid stuff from time to time. Wouldn't it suck if one day something stupid you said came back and ruined your life?

[–]DinosBiggestFan2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]lazydonovan11 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]lazydonovan1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Moxiecontin8 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThrowSomeHayAccount10 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Moxiecontin6 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThrowSomeHayAccount9 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Moxiecontin19 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That's good news for your dad! Your mom wasn't awarded any spousal maintenance after the divorce, but she was awarded child support that has been paid and is a non issue at this point. In addition to that, she's supported herself for the last six years without any maintenance from your father. I know that this subreddit is full of frightening stories about worst case scenarios, but I don't think your dad's story will turn out to be one of them. It seems very unlikely that your mother will be awarded anything at this point, and is going to have to go through the trouble of filing a petition for spousal maintenance and possibly hiring her own attorney due to the length of time between now and the actual divorce.

Honestly, it sounds to me that your mom heard that your dad was getting his shit together and got spiteful. She's now huffing and puffing and making threats, which will undoubtedly cause more trouble for her than anything if she decides to go through with them. An interstate petition for alimony six years after the divorce has been finalized? Fuck that. Tell your mom how you feel about what she's talking about doing, and then possibly tell her that her ass looks fat in those crazy pants she's wearing.

Ok, IANAL, but the local judge knows and seems to like my mom. He treated her very well during the divorce and basically fucked my dad hard, on multiple occasions. She is more than willing to get her own lawyer.

Honestly, it sounds to me that your mom heard that your dad was getting his shit together and got spiteful.

Damn straight. For awhile there really wasn't anything left to take, as the court made him sell the majority of his possessions. Now that there's blood in the water though.

I feel like some double agent. I have to watch everything I say to family, because it seems like every scrap of information is valuable.

An interstate petition for alimony six years after the divorce has been finalized?

This fucking judge had a felony charges placed on my dad for being behind in child support. The judge made the initial order based on what my dad "should" have been making.

[–]AFuddyDuddy4 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Moxiecontin3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Look, the fact that your mom wasn't awarded any alimony at the time of the divorce is really good. If the judge was really fucking your dad, he'd have tossed that in as well. Your dad can file for a change of venue if this actually becomes more of a thing. But seriously, it doesn't look like your mom's meeting the need for spousal maintenance in Wisconsin. She supported herself for six years without it, so she clearly didn't need it in the first place. The whole reason behind alimony is that it gives the ex spouse time to get back on their feet, which clearly your mother has already done. Also, I'm not sure what your mom does, but if she's been doing it for six years then I'd hope that her earning potential would be higher than a brand new LPN's. Shit, if that's the case then maybe drop your mom a hint that your dad should be suing her for alimony, see how she likes that. :P Anyways, calm down and don't worry, your mom's not really in a great position to fuck your dad again (literally, figuratively). Really, trying to get more money out of your dad at this point would be nothing but spiteful and unrealistic. Gather any information about your mom just doing this out of spite, and if you really want to feel safe, help collect money for a lawyer for your dad. Seriously, like take the change out of your pocket at the end of the day and put it in a jar. Your dad won't need a lot of time with a really great lawyer for this if it happens, he's in a pretty solid position.

And I can't stress this enough, tell your mom what you think of her for even thinking of doing this. Use words like greedy and spiteful. Maybe tell her that other people feel this way about her. No one wants to be the bad guy, so if your mom thinks that she's being viewed as the bad guy, she might back off.

[–]Moxiecontin1 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThrowSomeHayAccount7 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]jpaul321110 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]sadiator6 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]blueoak93 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]rightsbot6 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ThrowSomeHayAccount5 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]blueoak91 point 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]salient_punt2 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]3 points 13 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Title	Help for my dad.
Author	ThrowSomeHayAccount
Upvotes	39
Comments	49
Date	February 16, 2013 7:01 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/18ndxt/help-for-my-dad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/help-for-my-dad.1606399 https://theredarchive.com/post/1606399

Comments