I'm new here and noticed that there's a lot of TRP discussion from the younger generation. But what about us older married guys that have families and kids. Here are some of my thoughts. I would be grateful for constructive critique or any input really. I've included a few thoughts on introverts too

HumanSockPuppet · 2014-06-09T05:59:09+00:00

what about us older married guys that have families and kids

I don't know how much older you are than I am, or than the median age of guys who browse TRP. But if you're at least 45, then odds are you come from a time when there were still some small vestiges of respect and appreciation for masculinity. When men were valued for being men, and women for being women, and people didn't get mixed up in the business of strangers.

No such thing exists nowadays. Nowadays, masculinity is busy being the punchline to every joke - that is, when it isn't being used as the scapegoat for every problem that feminism can pin on it.

A good husband treats his wife with dignity and respect because she is a woman who has truly earned his respect. She brings out the best in him and he does the same for her.

Under different cultural circumstance, I would agree with this. An effective, healthy relationship is a partnership, where both partners support one another.

But this is not the world we live in now. Women have checked themselves out. And now men, in response, are likewise checking out.

The era you are speaking of ended some time ago. The men of today are stuck with the task of finding women that can be trained to behave the way women used to.

Perhaps some day, masculinity and femininity will be appreciated again. Perhaps some day sexual dimorphism and gender roles will be once again accepted for the self-evident truths that they are.

But it is not this day.

Cyralea · 2014-06-09T15:29:32+00:00

It's worth bearing in mind that TRP is a neo-reactionary movement to the state of affairs in the modern world. "Alpha" is merely an all-encompassing term that describes a successful man, be it sexual, financial or societal. TRP wouldn't have had much purpose 50 years ago. Your vision of the married man household doesn't exist today, not the way it used to.

I'm nearing 33 years old, and the world I experience is disconnected from the one that I want. I desire living in a functional family unit where I can raise strong sons. It's one of my major life goals. However, it's a very dangerous game. Finding a proper mother to my children likely means I must get married. This in itself exposes me to enormous risk. Even with my extensive TRP knowledge it seems a losing venture.

That said, there are many tenets of TRP that apply within marriages. Maintaining high SMV, holding frame, demanding respect/enforcing boundaries, being a leader, these are the tools that give you the best odds at avoiding being a divorce statistic or getting stuck in an unrewarding marriage. This sub has a lot of good information for the older crowd as well as those first figuring things out.

Every man values success.

WTF7777777 · 2014-06-09T04:18:57+00:00

I don't know if this fits TRP philosophy or not , but I'm one of the 6 in 10 marriages that end in divorce. So I warn my sons, so long as you live in the United States, don't get married and don't procreate until you move out of this country. A marriage license is a license for the government to redistribute you income and assets at the whim of the woman you support. It's a corrupt insidious system that has 10's of millions of men paying child support on children not theirs.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-06-09T03:55:29+00:00

A good husband treats his wife with dignity and respect because she is a woman who has truly earned his respect.

You still have to tease her and treat her like a little girl sometimes or there will be hell to pay.

Also, I have a problem with your post's emphasis on outcomes rather than specific behaviors:

A good man demonstrates to those around him how a good man is supposed to act and behave. He does this with actions and demeanor....A TRP man is successful at his career and makes good money

What actions and demeanors? The only exampe you could come up with is:

He treats everyone with respect until they prove themselves unworthy of his respect.

This is obviously false. You encounter hundreds or thousand of people a day and most of them are practically invisible to you. Respect? You don't even acknowledge their existence. The inverse of what you claim is true. He only treats with respect those who have proven worthy of that respect.

temparooney · 2014-06-09T02:42:39+00:00

I'm married a long time, with kids, too.

I don't have all those requirements for a good man, and I suspect those don't cover it. It's not always possible to maintain all those when life throws you curveballs, and people who follow all those rules (I suspect) might be defeated by some curveballs.

A good man understands the relationships between husband and wife, with kids in the mix. The kids change things. The man has a vast responsibility to provide a home and upbringing for those kids, and he won't take shit from his wife that threatens that. RP understanding of what works with women helps the man to be effective and confident (or at moments of crisis, somewhat less scared) in navigating through troubles.

It has nothing to do with introvert or extrovert, tall or short, or even in-shape or out of shape. It's mental, spiritual.

kick6 · 2014-06-09T13:43:35+00:00

a good man/woman deserves a good man/woman

I worry about the way this is stated as it could easily be construed as a good man/woman is ENTITLED to a good man/woman, and this is not what we as a community want to convey.

HeadingRed · 2014-06-09T19:10:13+00:00

46 here, there is a lot here for guys our age. There is also a lot of content that fits any age.

As an older TRP'er I look to the younger guys for a few things- health for instance (seem to be more up on that than guys my age). I also like to offer a "been there, done that, learn from my fail" when I can.

When I was in my 20's many times older guys gave me advice that can be summed up with AWALT\maintain your frame. Most of the time I ignored this and paid the consequences. I hope that on occasion hearing about my bad outcome first hand will help someone else avoid mistakes.

Denswend · 2014-06-08T23:32:25+00:00

Not so, TRP is dealing with sexual strategy so TRP might not be the best for a married man - sure, you're going to have a gem or two here and there, but it's kinda not common.

Feminism slowly eroded traditional gender roles, specifically that of a woman. Now women "have it all" - enjoying sexual revolution while settling down when they want, not to mention all the goodies they come. Feminism poisoned masculinity into a mere shadow of it - it taught men to be ashamed of who they are and to ignore their basic instincts. Then came the male reaction - first the systematic power play of who is oppressed more and how exactly can women rape you in the modern world (like in MRA - good cause, shitty performance), then comes the sexual strategy of PUA (thank you Matriarchy for easy sluts!) which ultimately leaves you devoid of any belief in "love". Then comes MGTOW.

Women overstep their boundaries and be demanding. Men react and stop. Just stop. Civilization collapses. Happened with the Rome. Happened with Soviet Union and Russia still feels the aftermath, barely surviving. It's going to happen here.

The correct way is the synthesis of redpill and bluepill into a traditional man in an Evolaesque sense of word. Sooner or later, you're going to settle down. Plan your family, select your wife carefully, temper her with enough amount of wisdom and respect so that she can reciprocate properly and do her part with zeal and love. Guide your children, play an active role in their education and physical development, and never lose sight of them.

Family is the basic unit of any civilized society, not "class" or an "individual" - it's what's important in the long run, and it's what your body secretly wants.

Comments